Search Results

Search found 18 results on 1 pages for 'splat'.

facebook twitter digg google delicious technorati stumbleupon myspace wordpress linkedin gmail igoogle windows live tumblr viadeo yahoo buzz yahoo mail yahoo bookmarks favorites email print

Page 1/1 | 1 

  • cocos2dx - Custom Fragment Shader and CCRenderTexture

    - by saiy2k
    I have a CCRenderTexture that is filled with a sprite when the scene is loaded, as follows, canvas = CCRenderTexture::create(this->getContentSize().width, this->getContentSize().height); canvas->setPosition(data->position); canvas->beginWithClear(0.0, 0.0, 0.0, 0); this->visit(); canvas->end(); The above code is written within a class, which derives from CCSprite (Hence this). Then, in another function applyShader(), I create a sprite named splat, from the texture of CCRenderTexture *canvas. Thus splat will contain the whole texture of canvas. Now I apply a custom fragment shader to the splat by calling the function splat->renderShader(), which will modify some small portion of the whole texture. Then I draw the modified texture back to the CCRenderTexture *canvas. Hence, applyShader() will * take a texture from CCRenderTexture, * create a sprite based on it, * apply a fragment shader to it * and draw the modified texture back to CCRenderTexture. This applyShader() will be called repetitively and its code is as follows: splat = Splat::createWithTexture(art->canvas->getSprite()->getTexture()); splat->renderShader(); art->canvas->begin(); splat->visit(); art->canvas->end(); My shader code is (nothing fancy) precision mediump float; varying vec2 v_texCoord; uniform sampler2D u_texture; uniform sampler2D u_colorRampTexture; uniform float params[5]; void main() { gl_FragColor = texture2D(u_texture, v_texCoord); return; } So, with the above code I expect the original sprite this to get rendered over and over again without any visual changes. But on each call to applyShader(), the texture is getting stretched a little and the stretched image is getting rendered. After some 10 calls, the image gets so distorted. Can someone please tell me where I am going wrong? Thanks :-) PS: All code shown here is partial, not complete code. Edit: Adding Screens Update: The problem has nothing to do with shaders it seems. It happens even when I dont call renderShader(). The actual lines of code is: splat = Splat::createWithTexture(art->canvas->getSprite()->getTexture()); splat->setPosition( ccp( art->getContentSize().width * 0.5, art->getContentSize().height * 0.5 ) ); splat->setFlipY(true); art->canvas->begin(); splat->visit(); art->canvas->end();

    Read the article

  • C++ meta-splat function

    - by aaa
    hello. Is there an existing function (in boost mpl or fusion) to splat meta-vector to variadic template arguments? for example: splat<vector<T1, T2, ...>, function>::type same as function<T1, T2, ...> my search have not found one, and I do not want to reinvent one if it already exists. edit: after some tinkering, apparently it's next to impossible to accomplish this in general way, as it would require declaring full template template parameter list for all possible cases. only reasonable solution is to use macro: #define splat(name, function) \ template<class T, ...> struct name; \ template<class T> \ struct name<T,typename boost::enable_if_c< \ result_of::size<T>::value == 1>::type> { \ typedef function< \ typename result_of::value_at_c<T,0>::type \ > type; \ }; Oh well. thank you

    Read the article

  • splat operator in groovy?

    - by IttayD
    def foo(map, name) { println(map) } foo("bar", hi: "bye") will print [hi:bye] Now I have a previous map that I wish to pass along to foo. In pseudo code, something like: def otherMap = [hi: "world"] foo("bar", hi: "bye", otherMap*) So that it prints [hi:world] This doesn't work of course. Also, trying to pass just the map mixes the order of arguments: def otherMap = [hi: "world"] foo("bar", otherMap) will print bar How can I fix this?

    Read the article

  • How to pass the 'argument-line' of one PowerShell function to another?

    - by jwfearn
    I'm trying to write some PowerShell functions that do some stuff and then transparently call through to existing built-in function. I want to pass along all the arguments untouched. I don't want to have to know any details of the arguments. I tired using 'splat' to do this with @args but that didn't work as I expected. In the example below, I've written a toy function called myls which supposed to print hello! and then call the same built-in function, Get-ChildItem, that the built-in alias ls calls with the rest of the argument line intact. What I have so far works pretty well: function myls { Write-Output "hello!" Invoke-Expression("Get-ChildItem "+$MyInvocation.UnboundArguments -join " ") } A correct version of myls should be able to handle being called with no arguments, with one argument, with named arguments, from a line containing multiple semi-colon delimited commands, and with variables in the arguments including string variables containing spaces. The tests below compare myls and the builtin ls: [NOTE: output elided and/or compacted to save space] PS> md C:\p\d\x, C:\p\d\y, C:\p\d\"jay z" PS> cd C:\p\d PS> ls # no args PS> myls # pass PS> cd .. PS> ls d # one arg PS> myls d # pass PS> $a="A"; $z="Z"; $y="y"; $jz="jay z" PS> $a; ls d; $z # multiple statements PS> $a; myls d; $z # pass PS> $a; ls d -Exclude x; $z # named args PS> $a; myls d -Exclude x; $z # pass PS> $a; ls d -Exclude $y; $z # variables in arg-line PS> $a; myls d -Exclude $y; $z # pass PS> $a; ls d -Exclude $jz; $z # variables containing spaces in arg-line PS> $a; myls d -Exclude $jz; $z # FAIL! Is there a way I can re-write myls to get the behavior I want?

    Read the article

  • Unity: how to apply programmatical changes to the Terrain SplatPrototype?

    - by Shivan Dragon
    I have a script to which I add a Terrain object (I drag and drop the terrain in the public Terrain field). The Terrain is already setup in Unity to have 2 PaintTextures: 1 is a Square (set up with a tile size so that it forms a checkered pattern) and the 2nd one is a grass image: Also the Target Strength of the first PaintTexture is lowered so that the checkered pattern also reveals some of the grass underneath. Now I want, at run time, to change the Tile Size of the first PaintTexture, i.e. have more or less checkers depending on various run time conditions. I've looked through Unity's documentation and I've seen you have the Terrain.terrainData.SplatPrototype array which allows you to change this. Also there's a RefreshPrototypes() method on the terrainData object and a Flush() method on the Terrain object. So I made a script like this: public class AStarTerrain : MonoBehaviour { public int aStarCellColumns, aStarCellRows; public GameObject aStarCellHighlightPrefab; public GameObject aStarPathMarkerPrefab; public GameObject utilityRobotPrefab; public Terrain aStarTerrain; void Start () { //I've also tried NOT drag and dropping the Terrain on the public field //and instead just using the commented line below, but I get the same results //aStarTerrain = this.GetComponents<Terrain>()[0]; Debug.Log ("Got terrain "+aStarTerrain.name); SplatPrototype[] splatPrototypes = aStarTerrain.terrainData.splatPrototypes; Debug.Log("Terrain has "+splatPrototypes.Length+" splat prototypes"); SplatPrototype aStarCellSplat = splatPrototypes[0]; Debug.Log("Re-tyling splat prototype "+aStarCellSplat.texture.name); aStarCellSplat.tileSize = new Vector2(2000,2000); Debug.Log("Tyling is now "+aStarCellSplat.tileSize.x+"/"+aStarCellSplat.tileSize.y); aStarTerrain.terrainData.RefreshPrototypes(); aStarTerrain.Flush(); } //... Problem is, nothing gets changed, the checker map is not re-tiled. The console outputs correctly tell me that I've got the Terrain object with the right name, that it has the right number of splat prototypes and that I'm modifying the tileSize on the SplatPrototype object corresponding to the right texture. It also tells me the value has changed. But nothing gets updated in the actual graphical view. So please, what am I missing?

    Read the article

  • How to apply programatical changes to the Terrain SplatPrototype

    - by Shivan Dragon
    I have a script to which I add a Terrain object (I drag and drop the terrain in the public Terrain field). The Terrain is already setup in Unity to have 2 PaintTextures: 1 is a Square (set up with a tile size so that it forms a checkered pattern) and the 2nd one is a grass image: Also the Target Strength of the first PaintTexture is lowered so that the checkered pattern also reveals some of the grass underneath. Now I want, at run time, to change the Tile Size of the first PaintTexture, i.e. have more or less checkers depending on various run time conditions. I've looked through Unity's documentation and I've seen you have the Terrain.terrainData.SplatPrototype array which allows you to change this. Also there's a RefreshPrototypes() method on the terrainData object and a Flush() method on the Terrain object. So I made a script like this: public class AStarTerrain : MonoBehaviour { public int aStarCellColumns, aStarCellRows; public GameObject aStarCellHighlightPrefab; public GameObject aStarPathMarkerPrefab; public GameObject utilityRobotPrefab; public Terrain aStarTerrain; void Start () { //I've also tried NOT drag and dropping the Terrain on the public field //and instead just using the commented line below, but I get the same results //aStarTerrain = this.GetComponents<Terrain>()[0]; Debug.Log ("Got terrain "+aStarTerrain.name); SplatPrototype[] splatPrototypes = aStarTerrain.terrainData.splatPrototypes; Debug.Log("Terrain has "+splatPrototypes.Length+" splat prototypes"); SplatPrototype aStarCellSplat = splatPrototypes[0]; Debug.Log("Re-tyling splat prototype "+aStarCellSplat.texture.name); aStarCellSplat.tileSize = new Vector2(2000,2000); Debug.Log("Tyling is now "+aStarCellSplat.tileSize.x+"/"+aStarCellSplat.tileSize.y); aStarTerrain.terrainData.RefreshPrototypes(); aStarTerrain.Flush(); } //... Problem is, nothing gets changed, the checker map is not re-tiled. The console outputs correctly tell me that I've got the Terrain object with the right name, that it has the right number of splat prototypes and that I'm modifying the tileSize on the SplatPrototype object corresponding to the right texture. It also tells me the value has changed. But nothing gets updated in the actual graphical view. So please, what am I missing?

    Read the article

  • Getting value of "i" from GEvent

    - by Cosizzle
    Hello, I'm trying to add an event listener to each icon on the map when it's pressed. I'm storing the information in the database and the value that I'm wanting to retrive is "i" however when I output "i", I get it's last value which is 5 (there are 6 objects being drawn onto the map) Below is the code, what would be the best way to get the value of i, and not the object itself. var drawLotLoc = function(id) { var lotLoc = new GIcon(G_DEFAULT_ICON); // create icon object lotLoc.image = url+"images/markers/lotLocation.gif"; // set the icon image lotLoc.shadow = ""; // no shadow lotLoc.iconSize = new GSize(24, 24); // set the size var markerOptions = { icon: lotLoc }; $.post(opts.postScript, {action: 'drawlotLoc', id: id}, function(data) { var markers = new Array(); // lotLoc[x].description // lotLoc[x].lat // lotLoc[x].lng // lotLoc[x].nighbourhood // lotLoc[x].lot var lotLoc = $.evalJSON(data); for(var i=0; i<lotLoc.length; i++) { var spLat = parseFloat(lotLoc[i].lat); var spLng = parseFloat(lotLoc[i].lng); var latlng = new GLatLng(spLat, spLng) markers[i] = new GMarker(latlng, markerOptions); myMap.addOverlay(markers[i]); GEvent.addListener(markers[i], "click", function() { console.log(i); // returning 5 in all cases. // I _need_ this to be unique to the object being clicked. console.log(this); }); } });

    Read the article

  • Getting an "i" from GEvent

    - by Cosizzle
    Hello, I'm trying to add an event listener to each icon on the map when it's pressed. I'm storing the information in the database and the value that I'm wanting to retrive is "i" however when I output "i", I get it's last value which is 5 (there are 6 objects being drawn onto the map) Below is the code, what would be the best way to get the value of i, and not the object itself. var drawLotLoc = function(id) { var lotLoc = new GIcon(G_DEFAULT_ICON); // create icon object lotLoc.image = url+"images/markers/lotLocation.gif"; // set the icon image lotLoc.shadow = ""; // no shadow lotLoc.iconSize = new GSize(24, 24); // set the size var markerOptions = { icon: lotLoc }; $.post(opts.postScript, {action: 'drawlotLoc', id: id}, function(data) { var markers = new Array(); // lotLoc[x].description // lotLoc[x].lat // lotLoc[x].lng // lotLoc[x].nighbourhood // lotLoc[x].lot var lotLoc = $.evalJSON(data); for(var i=0; i<lotLoc.length; i++) { var spLat = parseFloat(lotLoc[i].lat); var spLng = parseFloat(lotLoc[i].lng); var latlng = new GLatLng(spLat, spLng) markers[i] = new GMarker(latlng, markerOptions); myMap.addOverlay(markers[i]); GEvent.addListener(markers[i], "click", function() { console.log(i); // returning 5 in all cases. // I _need_ this to be unique to the object being clicked. console.log(this); }); } });

    Read the article

  • Why are my bound parameters all identical (using Linq)?

    - by Scott Stafford
    When I run this snippet of code: string[] words = new string[] { "foo", "bar" }; var results = from row in Assets select row; foreach (string word in words) { results = results.Where(row => row.Name.Contains(word)); } I get this SQL: -- Region Parameters DECLARE @p0 VarChar(5) = '%bar%' DECLARE @p1 VarChar(5) = '%bar%' -- EndRegion SELECT ... FROM [Assets] AS [t0] WHERE ([t0].[Name] LIKE @p0) AND ([t0].[Name] LIKE @p1) Note that @p0 and @p1 are both bar, when I wanted them to be foo and bar. I guess Linq is somehow binding a reference to the variable word rather than a reference to the string currently referenced by word? What is the best way to avoid this problem? (Also, if you have any suggestions for a better title for this question, please put it in the comments.) Note that I tried this with regular Linq also, with the same results (you can paste this right into Linqpad): string[] words = new string[] { "f", "a" }; string[] dictionary = new string[] { "foo", "bar", "jack", "splat" }; var results = from row in dictionary select row; foreach (string word in words) { results = results.Where(row => row.Contains(word)); } results.Dump(); Dumps: bar jack splat

    Read the article

  • Pronunciation in programming?

    - by Xepoch
    How do you correctly or erroneously pronounce programming terms? Any that you find need strict correction or history into the early CS culture? Programming char = "tchar" not care? ! = bang not exclamation? # = pound not hash? Exception #! = shebang * = splat not star? regex = "rej ex" not "regg ex"? sql = "s q l" not "sequel" (already answered, just i.e.) Unixen | = pipe not vertical bar? bin = bin as in pin , not as in binary? lib = lib as in library , not as in liberate? etc = "ett see" , not "e t c" (as in /etc and not "&c") Annoyance / = slash not backslash LaTeX = "laytek" not "lay teks"

    Read the article

  • Php pi help... (Loops)

    - by James Rattray
    Is this iteration the best? (Pi^2)/12 = 1 - 1/4 + 1/9 - 1/16 + 1/25 etc. -For converging faster? If not please answer with the iteration -preferably in the form above (an example) -not a splat of algebra ... I'm doing this to find Pi to 1,000,000,000 places online. http://www.zombiewrath.com/superpi.php or my 10,000 one: http://www.zombiewrath.com/pi.php

    Read the article

  • Php pi help... (Loops)

    - by James Rattray
    Is this iteration the best? (Pi^2)/12 = 1 - 1/4 + 1/9 - 1/16 + 1/25 etc. -For converging faster? If not please answer with the iteration -preferably in the form above (an example) -not a splat of algebra ... I'm doing this to find Pi to 1,000,000,000 places online.

    Read the article

  • Sending elements of an array as arguments to a method call

    - by Bryce
    I have a method that accepts the splat operator: def hello(foo, *bar) #... do some stuff end I have an array with a variable length that I'd like to send into this hello method: arr1 = ['baz', 'stuff'] arr2 = ['ding', 'dong', 'dang'] I'd like to call the method with arr1 and arr2 as arguments to that method but I keep getting hung up in that *bar is being interpreted as an array instead of individual arguments. To make things more fun, I can't change the hello method at all. I'm looking for something similar to this SO question but in ruby.

    Read the article

  • How to print an Objectified Element?

    - by BeeBand
    I have xml of the format: <channel> <games> <game slot='1'> <id>Bric A Bloc</id> <title-text>BricABloc Hoorah</title-text> <link>Fruit Splat</link> </game> </games> </channel> I've parsed this xml using lxml.objectify, via: tree = objectify.parse(file) There will potentially be a number of <game>s underneath <games>. I understand that I can generate a list of <game> objects via: [ tree.games[0].game[0:4] ] My question is, what class are those objects and is there a function to print any object of whatever class these objects belong to?

    Read the article

  • Convert SQL with Inner AND Outer Join to L2S

    - by Refracted Paladin
    I need to convert the below Sproc to a Linq query. At the very bottom is what I have so far. For reference the fields behind the "splat"(not my sproc) are ImmunizationID int, HAReviewID int, ImmunizationMaintID int, ImmunizationOther varchar(50), ImmunizationDate smalldatetime, ImmunizationReasonID int The first two are PK and FK, respectively. The other two ints are linke to the Maint Table where there description is stored. That is what I am stuck on, the INNER JOIN AND the LEFT OUTER JOIN Thanks, SELECT tblHAReviewImmunizations.*, tblMaintItem.ItemDescription, tblMaintItem2.ItemDescription as Reason FROM dbo.tblHAReviewImmunizations INNER JOIN dbo.tblMaintItem ON dbo.tblHAReviewImmunizations.ImmunizationMaintID = dbo.tblMaintItem.ItemID LEFT OUTER JOIN dbo.tblMaintItem as tblMaintItem2 ON dbo.tblHAReviewImmunizations.ImmunizationReasonID = tblMaintItem2.ItemID WHERE HAReviewID = @haReviewID My attempt so far -- public static DataTable GetImmunizations(int haReviewID) { using (var context = McpDataContext.Create()) { var currentImmunizations = from haReviewImmunization in context.tblHAReviewImmunizations where haReviewImmunization.HAReviewID == haReviewID join maintItem in context.tblMaintItems on haReviewImmunization.ImmunizationReasonID equals maintItem.ItemID into g from maintItem in g.DefaultIfEmpty() let Immunization = GetImmunizationNameByID( haReviewImmunization.ImmunizationMaintID) select new { haReviewImmunization.ImmunizationDate, haReviewImmunization.ImmunizationOther, Immunization, Reason = maintItem == null ? " " : maintItem.ItemDescription }; return currentImmunizations.CopyLinqToDataTable(); } } private static string GetImmunizationNameByID(int? immunizationID) { using (var context = McpDataContext.Create()) { var domainName = from maintItem in context.tblMaintItems where maintItem.ItemID == immunizationID select maintItem.ItemDescription; return domainName.SingleOrDefault(); } }

    Read the article

  • Powershell: splatting after passing hashtable by reference

    - by user1815871
    Powershell newbie ... I recently learned about splatting — very useful. I ran into a snag when I passed a hash table by reference to a function for splatting purposes. (For brevity's sake — a silly example.) Function AllMyChildren { param ( [ref]$ReferenceToHash } get-childitem @ReferenceToHash.Value # etc.etc. } $MyHash = @{ 'path' = '*' 'include' = '*.ps1' 'name' = $null } AllMyChildren ([ref]$MyHash) Result: an error ("Splatted variables cannot be used as part of a property or array expression. Assign the result of the expression to a temporary variable then splat the temporary variable instead."). Tried this afterward: $newVariable = $ReferenceToHash.Value get-childitem @NewVariable That did work and seemed right per the error message. But: is it the preferred syntax in a case like this? (An oh, look, it actually worked solution isn't always a best practice. My approach here strikes me as "Perl-minded" and perhaps in Powershell passing by value is better, though I don't yet know the syntax for it w.r.t. a hash table.)

    Read the article

  • You Might Be a DBA

    - by BuckWoody
    With all apologies to Jeff Foxworthy, I was up late Friday night on a holiday weekend (which translated into T-SQL becomes “Maintenance Window”) and I got bored in between the two or three minutes I had between clicks. So I started a “Twitter” meme – and it just took off. I haven’t cleaned these up much, but here, in author order as of Saturday the 29th of May is the list “You might be a DBA” from around the Twitterverse: buckwoody Your two main enemies are developers and SAN admins #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody People can use Access as a cross or garlic on you #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You always plan an exit strategy, even when entering a McDonald's #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You can't explain to your family what you really do for a living #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have at least one set of scripts you won't share #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have an opinion on the best code-beautifier #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have children older than the rest of your team #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You and the Oracle DBA would kill each other, but you'll happily fight off a developer together first #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've threatened to quit if they give anyone the sa password on production #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've sent a vendor suggestions on improving their database design or code (and been ignored) #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've sent a vendor suggestions on improving their database design or code (and been ignored) #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have an opinion on the best code-beautifier #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have at least one set of scripts you won't share #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You refer to co-workers as "carbon-units" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Being paranoid is on your resume at the top #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Everyone comes to your cube to find the MSDN DVD's #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You always plan an exit strategy, even when entering a McDonald's #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've worn down developers to get your way by explaining normalization levels #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You refer to clothes as "Data Abstractions" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Users pester you to be able to put data in a database, then they pester you to take it out and put it in Excel #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Others try to de-duplicate data, you try to copy it to more than three locations #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have at least one DLT tape in the trunk of your car #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You use twitter and facebook to talk with colleagues because there's no one else in your company that does what you do #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your spouse knows what "ETL" means #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've referred to yourself as the "Data Janitor" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You don't have positive connotations of the word "upgrade" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You get your coffee before you check your servers, because you know you won't get any if you don't #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You always come to work through the back door so no one hijacks you on the way to your cube #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You check your server logs before you check your e-mail in the morning so you can reply "Yeah, I already fixed that." #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have more conference badges than clean socks #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your coffee mug says "It depends" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You can convince a boss that you need 16GB of RAM in your laptop #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've used ebay to find production equipment #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You pad all project timelines by 2X, and you still miss them #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know when your company is acquiring another even before the CFO #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You pad all project timelines by 2X, and you still miss them #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You call aspirin "work vitamins" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You get the same amount of sleep even after you have a child #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You obsess about performance metrics from over one year ago #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody The first thing you buy after the database software is aftermarket tools to manage the database software #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've tried to convince someone else to become a DBA #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You use twitter and facebook to talk with colleagues because there's no one else in your company that does what you do #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You only know other DBA's by their Tweet Handle #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've explained the difference between 32 and 64-bit to more than one manager in terms they can understand, using puppets #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your two main enemies are developers and SAN admins #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've driven to the Datacenter to install SQL Server because "you don't trust those NOC admins" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You pay more for faster Internet connections than cable at home so you don't have to drive in #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You call texting a "queuing system" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know that if someone can read Perl, they manage an Oracle system #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have an e-mail rule for backup notifications #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your food pyramid includes coffee, salt and fat #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You wish everything had a graphical query plan #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You refactor your e-mails #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've gotten more help from twitter and facebook than all your years in college #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You would pay money for a license plate that has the letters S-Q-L together #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have actually considered making a RAID array from thumb drives #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Everything on your laptop is installed from your MSDN subscription #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've written blog posts on technology you've never actually implemented in production #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Everything on your laptop is installed from your MSDN subscription #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody @MidnightDBA Click the #youmightbeaDBA tag. I've had WAY too much coffee today.  buckwoody There is no other position that is 1-deep except you and the CEO #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody When you watch "The Office" you call it "OJT" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You would pay money for a license plate that has the letters S-Q-L together #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your blog would make a "best practices" or "worst practices" book #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have actually considered making a RAID array from thumb drives #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody The first thing you install on your netbook is SSMS #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Everything on your laptop is installed from your MSDN subscription #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your watch is set to UTC because it's just easier #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You make plenty of money, but you're excited to get a $2.00 squeeze-ball from Quest and Redgate #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You make plenty of money, but you're excited to get a $2.00 squeeze-ball from Quest and Redgate #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You think data can be represented as something OTHER than XML #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You tell people that you made a database query go faster, and expect them to be happy for you #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You take the word "NoSQL" as a personal attack #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody People can use Access as a cross or garlic on you #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody * == bad #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody * == bad #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody There are just as many females in your technical field as males #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody People can use Access as a cross or garlic on you #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've gotten more help from twitter and facebook than all your years in college #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You think that something OTHER than the database might be the performance bottleneck #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You refer to time as a "Clustered Index" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know why "user" refers to both business people and crack addicts #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You make plenty of money, but you're excited to get a $2.00 squeeze-ball from Quest and Redgate #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You can't explain to your family what you really do for a living #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You tell people that you made a database query go faster, and expect them to be happy for you #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You think a millisecond is a really long time #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You're sitting and typing #youmightbeaDBA when you could be outside #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You can't wait for a technical conference so you can wear a kilt - and you're not Scottish #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know that "DBA" stands for "Default Blame Acceptor" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody People can use Access as a cross or garlic on you #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know what "the truth, thole truth and nothing but the truth, so help me Codd" means #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've gotten more help from twitter and facebook than all your years in college #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You can't talk fast enough to get a concept out of your head so you tweet it instead #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You cry when someone doesn't use a WHERE clause #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You think data can be represented as something OTHER than XML #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You think "Set theory" is not an verb but a noun #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You try to convince random strangers to vote on your Connect item #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You think 3 hours of contiguous sleep is a good thing #youmightbeaDBA or #youmightbeamother  buckwoody You don't like Oracle, and not just because of what she did to Neo #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know when to say "sequel" and "s-q-l" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know where the data is #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You refer to your children as "Fully Redundant Mirrors" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Holiday == "Maintenance Window" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your laptop is more powerful than the servers in most companies - including your own #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You capitalize SELECTed words #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You take the word "NoSQL" as a personal attack #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know why "user" refers to both business people and crack addicts #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You cringe in public when the word "upgrade" is used in a sentence #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Holiday == "Maintenance Window" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody All Data Is MetaData means something to you #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've never seen the driveway to your house in the daylight #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You think that something OTHER than the database might be the performance bottleneck #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Most of your bloodstream is composed of caffeine #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your task list is labeled "CRUD Matrix" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You call your wife/husband a "Linked Server" #youmightbeaDBA  anonythemouse When someone tells you they are going to take a dump and you wonder of which database then #youmightbeaDBA  anonythemouse When it's 11pm on a holiday weekend and you are working #youmightbeaDBA  anonythemouse When you sit down at a table and look for it's primary key #youmightbeaDBA  anonythemouse When getting milk from the fridge you check the expiry date is > getdate() #youmightbeaDBA  blakmk when you wake up dreaming about sql #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver You think a @buckwoody bobblehead would be a cool thing to have on the dashboard of your car #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver Your friends don't understand why you think there's a difference between single and double quotes #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver Even the newest employees know your name from all the downtime notices you've sent out #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver You sometimes feel anxious and think "I should test restoring those backups" and then the feeling passes #youmightbeadba  CharlesGarver You know what a co-worker means when they ask "how is your squirrel server?" #youmightbeadba  CharlesGarver You can't sleep at night and you ponder the logisitcs of collecting every copy of Access for the world's biggest bonfire #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver You can't sleep at night and you ponder the logisitcs of collecting every copy of Access for the world's biggest bonfire #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver You're willing to move someone's job up in priority for a box of #voodoodonuts #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver Each person in your company seems to think you work for THEM #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver You have a Love/Hate relationship going on with #Microsoft #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver People ask you to troubleshoot their Access program #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver The first words you hear in the morning are 'your voicemail box is full' #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver The thought of disrupting 500 people's work so you can do something doesn't phase you #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver You can't sleep at night and you ponder the logisitcs of collecting every copy of Access for the world's biggest bonfire #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver Your home computer is backed up in 3 different places #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver Your wardrobe for work includes pajamas #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver Someone tells you to look in the INDEX and you look puzzled before finally going to the back of the book. #youmightbeaDBA  chuckboycejr If you have ever set up a SQLAgent job to email your mobile phone to serve as an alarm clock #youmightbeaDBA  chuckboycejr If you'd rather meet Itzik than Jay Z #youmightbeaDBA  chuckboycejr If you'd rather meet Itzik than Jay Z #youmightbeaDBA  chuckboycejr If you'd wrestle a SysAdmin to the ground to implement #DPA best practices as per @aspiringgeek #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy I need to be up in 7 hours, so I'm off to bed! I'll have to read the rest of @buckwoody's #youmightbeaDBA posts in the AM. (g'night Buck!)  databaseguy When people ask you about your house, the first thing you describe is the network. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy The last thing you say at the office each day is, "is anybody else here? I'm shutting off the lights!" #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy Your blood pressure rises when you read application specs drafted by marketing. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy A good day at work is one when nobody pays you no mind. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You care about latches and wait states. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You have worked over 200 hours on a performance tuning project that required no application changes at all. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy The late-night security guard knows the names of your spouse and kids. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You have had vigorous debates about whether it should be pronounced "sequel" or "ess-queue-ell". #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You have VPN and RDP software installed on your phone ... just in case. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You have edited a data file by hand, just to see what would happen. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You decorate your office walls with database catalog posters. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You've built programs that access data just to keep other developers from asking you to run queries all the time. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy When you watch movies like The Matrix, you find yourself calculating the fasibility of storing all that data. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You have tried to convince someone to spend money on an SSD storage array. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy When CPU is spiked on a server, you want to gather forensic evidence. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You have to remind developers not to push code to production without checking if the database is ready. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy Nobody cares what you wear to work, as long as the thing keeps running. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy Telepathy is a job requirement when working with app dev teams. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You read database statistics for the educational value. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy And your boss freely admits this to anyone within earshot. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy Your boss cannot explain or understand what you do. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You envision ERDs when you see a GUI. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You say things like "applications come and go, but data lasts forever." #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You have memorized the names of several of the AdventureWorks employees. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You know what MAXDOP setting you can get away with for a big query based on current server load. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy And you immediately recognize the recursion in my last tweet. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You find 50 simultaneous tweets from @buckwoody about #youmightbeaDBA :O)  DBAishness You have "funny stories" about the times your developers accidentally deleted the T-log in their test environment. #youmightbeaDBA  DBAishness Planning to slice and dice your MDW data with PowerPivot makes you giggle like a schoolgirl. #youmightbeaDBA  donalddotfarmer You think @buckwoody lives in the "real world." #youmightbeaDBA  jamach09 @buckwoody #youmightbeaDBA Why go outside when you can sit in the nice cool server room?  jamach09 If you refer to procreation as "Replication", #youmightbeaDBA.  jamach09 If you think ORM is a four-letter word, #youmightbeaDBA  JamesMarsh If you have ever preached the value of Source Code Control, #YouMightBeADBA  jethrocarr @venzann You store your shopping list in a ACID compliant DB #youmightbeaDBA  joe_positive @buckwoody thought it stood for "Don't Bother Asking" #youmightbeaDBA  joe_positive when you check your IT Events Calendar before making weekend plans #youmightbeaDBA  LadyRuna You cringe whenever someone calls Excel a database #youmightbeaDBA  LadyRuna When the waiter says he'll be your server today, you ask how many terabytes he is #youmightbeaDBA  LadyRuna you always call the asterisk a "Star" #youmightbeaDBA  LadyRuna You walk into a server room, say "Nice RACK!" and everyone there knows you're talking about server rack... #youmightbeaDBA  LadyRuna You receive more messages from servers than from friends #youmightbeaDBA  LadyRuna hmmm... #youmightbeaDBA if your recipe for gumbo is "SELECT * FROM Refrigerator"  markjholmes @SQLSoldier Heh. #youmightbeaDBA if you correct other DBAs' spelling of @PaulRandal  markjholmes #youmightbeaDBA if you actually test RAID5 vs RAID10 on your SAN because when it comes to configuration, "it depends."  markjholmes #youmightbeaDBA if you have at least 3 definitions of the word "cluster"  MarlonRibunal 3 Words: @BrentO, snicker, & Access #youmightbeaDBA  MarlonRibunal @onpnt @mikeSQL my appeal was a couple of mins late. Enjoying #youmightbeaDBA  MarlonRibunal @mikeSQL @onpnt pls, don't mention bacon #youmightbeaDBA  merv @buckwoody You HATE 3-way joins #youmightbeaDBA  MidnightDBA If you're up at midnight Tweeting about SQL #youmightbeaDBA  MidnightDBA @buckwoody I'd noticed that. :) #youmightbeaDBA  mikeSQL when people talk about "their type" you're thinking varchar, bigint, binary, etc #youmightbeadba  mikeSQL people ask you to go to lunch , but you can't go because you're attending #SQLlunch #youmightbeadba  mikeSQL you laugh for hours at all of the #sqlmoviequotes ....things in which a normal individual would scratch their head at. #youmightbeadba  mikeSQL you laugh for hours at all of the #sqlmoviequotes ....things in which a normal individual would scratch their head at. #youmightbeadba  mrdenny If you think that @buckwoody's demo using PowerPivot to analyze index usage data from DMVs is awesome then #youmightbeaDBA  mrdenny You wish @PaulRandal still worked at Microsoft so that they would make a bobble head of him #youmightbeadba  mrdenny When it's 11pm on a holiday weekend, and your posting stupid jokes on Twitter then #youmightbeadba  mrdenny If you go out with friends and wonder why no one's wearing a kilt then #YouMightBeADBA  mrdenny You can't do basic math, but you know off the top of your head how many CALs $14,412 can buy you. #YoumightbeaDBA  mrdenny If you've ever setup a SQL Job to email you to get you out of a regularly scheduled meeting #YouMightBeADBA.  mrdenny You throw up in your mouth a little when ever you here the word "Access". Even if it doesn't relate to a MS product. #YouMightBeADBA  msdtjones You spend more time listening to @buckwoody than your wife #youmightbeaDBA  NFDotCom You perform "hail deltas" on a regular basis. #YouMightBeADBA  NoelMcKinney If you tell your wife you want to go to Columbus Ohio for your wedding anniversary so you can attend #sqlsat42 then #youmightbeaDBA  NoelMcKinney You read a union is on strike and wonder if it's a UNION ALL #youmightbeaDBA  NoelMcKinney You read a union is on strike and wonder if it's a UNION ALL #youmightbeaDBA  NoelMcKinney Someone asks you to throw another log on the fire and you tell them not to worry about it because Autogrowth is turned on #youmightbeaDBA  Nuurdygirl Even if you have a girlfriend...its possible #youmightbeadba. Yeah-i said its possible!  Nuurdygirl When your girlfriend has to lean around the laptop to kiss you goodnight #youmightbeadba  Old_Man_Fish If you worry about how big your package is and how long it takes to finish #youmightbeaDBA  Old_Man_Fish If you no longer wonder if someone is in trouble or died if you are getting calls at 2AM #youmightbeaDBA  Old_Man_Fish If, when you hear the word ACCESS with no connotation you blood pressure jumps 50 points, #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt When you hear the word inject you immediately get concerned if your databases are OK #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt Your servers haven't been rebooted in a year #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You know why it's funny when @PaulRandal has the word, "Sheep" in a tweet #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You have read BOL without actually having a problem to figure out #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You can type "SELECT columns FROM tables" without typos but tipen ni Banglish ares a messis #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt DR strategies doesn't include the word, RAID in them #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt you can move a SQL Server instance to a new server without the users ever knowing #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You have made an SSIS package that is more than one step #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You have the balls to say no to your boss when they ask for the sa password #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt you google to trouble shoot a problem and end up at your own blog (and it fixes it) #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You talk your wife into moving the family vacation a week earlier so you can attend the areas local SSUG meeting #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt you can explain to a nontechnical person what a deadlock is #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You hope a girl asks you what your collation is #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt you make jokes that include the words shrink, truncate and 1205. And you are the only one that laughs at them #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You rate your ability to stay awake to work longer on blogs, twitter, forums and your day to day job with the 5 9's goal #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt you have major surgery and beg the doctor to release you back to work 5 days later because you miss your servers #youmightbeaDBA #TrueStory  onpnt You do have backups and you know how to use them #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt It's the network #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt When the developers get to work your mood changes rapidly #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt When someone says, "PASS", you first think of karaoke #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt Recruiters try to get you to call them *just* because they think you'll give them @BrentO contact info #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You chuckle every time you go to grab the "CLR" Calcium, Lime and Rust Remover to clean something #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt @MarlonRibunal @mikeSQL Sorry man, it was already in motion ;-) #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt When you have an "I love bacon" sticker on your laptop. #youmightbeaDBA http://twitpic.com/1ry671  onpnt You sing SELECT statements in the shower #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt When you see a chicken it doesn't remind you of food. It reminds you of a guy named Jorge #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt At time, SQL is your mistress #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt Your wife wonders if SQL is the code name of your mistress at times #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt it's Friday and you are on twitter thinking really hard about what would be funny for hash tag #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You organize your wife's "decorative"pillows on the bed in a B-Tree structure #youmightbeaDBA  PaulWhiteNZ If you: SELECT TOP (1) milk FROM fridge WHERE use_by_date >= GET_DATE() ORDER BY use_by_date ASC #YouMightBeaDBA  RonDBA #youmightbeaDBA if you read @buckwoody's and @BrentO's blogs.  ryaneastabrook @buckwoody omg, you have to stand up a website with these on them, they are awesome #youmightbeaDBA  soulvy @StrateSQL @LadyRuna Or a "Splat" #youmightbeaDBA  speedracer You can still fall asleep after three cups of coffee #youmightbeaDBA  speedracer You retweet @buckwoody on a Friday night #youmightbeaDBA  speedracer You can still fall asleep after three cups of coffee #youmightbeaDBA  speedracer Developers make you twitch #youmightbeaDBA  sqlagentman You know what X/1024*8 is. #YouMightBeADBA  SqlAsylum Your still in the office at 5:00 on memorial day weekend. #youmightbeadba :)  SQLBob Whenever someone you know gets pregnant you bring up INNER JOINs or SQL Injection attacks... #youmightbeaDBA  SQLChicken You know one or more SQL folks in the community with an animal in their username #youmightbeaDBA  SQLChicken You've used one or more car analogies to explain how a database works #youmightbeaDBA  SQLChicken “@sqljoe: #youmightbeaDBA if you applied to attend #sqlu and requested @SQLChicken to pull strings for you” lmao nice!  SQLChicken When talking about SSIS your discussions break down into various jokes about packages #youmightbeaDBA  SQLChicken Just SEEING the code for cursors makes you break out in hives #youmightbeaDBA  SQLChicken Just SEEING the code for cursors makes you break out in hives #youmightbeaDBA  SQLCraftsman You coined the phrase "Magic SAN Dust" because calling a vendor's marketing claims BS is not acceptable in a meeting. #YouMightBeADBA  SQLCraftsman If you hear about a new feature with the acronym "DAC" and wonder what disaster of a feature it is attached to this time. #YouMightBeADBA  SQLCraftsman You really own a "Stick of Much Developer Whacking" #YouMightBeADBA  SQLCraftsman You coined the phrase "Magic SAN Dust" because calling a vendor's marketing claims BS is not acceptable in a meeting. #YouMightBeADBA  SQLCraftsman Default Blame Acceptor #YouMightBeADBA  SQLCraftsman If you hear about a new feature with the acronym "DAC" and wonder what disaster of a feature it is attached to this time. #YouMightBeADBA  SQLCraftsman Default Blame Acceptor #YouMightBeADBA  SQLCraftsman If you hear about a new feature with the acronym "DAC" and wonder what disaster of a feature it is attached to this time. #YouMightBeADBA  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you wished your wife knew T-sql. USE ShoppingList SELECT NecessaryItems from Supermarket WHERE Category<> ("junk food")  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if the first thing you kiss when you wake up is your mobile for not waking you up in the middle of the night  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if your wife has a "Do Not Fly" family vacation list of her own including your laptop and mobile  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you have researched for DBA Anonymous groups and attended a #SSUG willing to drop your database (vice)  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if your only maintenance windows are staff meetings  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you think of yourself as "The One" in The Matrix "balancing the equation" from The Architect's (developers) poor coding  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you think @PaulRandal should have played the Oracle in The Matrix  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if home CD & Movie collection is stored in secured containers,in logical order & naming convention,and with a backup copy  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you applied to attend #sqlu and requested @SQLChicken to pull strings for you  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you have tried to TiVo @MidnightDBA broadcasts  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if your #sql user group feels like #AA meetings  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you thought of bringing your #sql books to #sqlsaturday and #sqlpass for autographs  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if #sqlpass feels like the #oscars  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you are proud of your small package  SQLLawman #youmightbeaDBA when you hear MDX and Acura is not first thought that comes to mind.  sqlrunner If your wife double checks that there isn't a SQLSat within 200 miles of your vacation destination #youmightbeaDBA  sqlrunner When you're on a conference call and your wife thinks your speaking in a foreign language #youmightbeaDBA  sqlrunner When you're on a conference call and your wife thinks your speaking in a foreign language #youmightbeaDBA  sqlrunner You treat the word 'access' as a verb, not a noun #youmightbeaDBA  sqlrunner If you are happy with sub-second performance #youmightbeaDBA  sqlrunner When you know the names of the NOC people AND their families #youmightbeadba  sqlrunner When you know the names of the NOC people AND their families #youmightbeadba  sqlrunner Your company set's up international phone coverage for your cruise #youmightbeaDBA  sqlsamson @buckwoody if your manager asks you for data and you respond with "there's a script for that" #youmightbeadba  sqlsamson @buckwoody If you receive more messages from your server then your spouse #youmightbeadba  SQLSoldier You've spent all night Valentines Day upgrading the SQL Servers and forgot to tell your wife you'd be working late. #youmightbeadba  SQLSoldier You're flattered when someone calls you a geek. #youmightbeadba  SQLSoldier @llangit @mrdenny it's 11pm on a holiday weekend, & your reading stupid jokes on Twitter then #youmightbeadba  SQLSoldier Your manager borrows lunch money from you because your salary is 30% higher than his. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You think "intellisense" is a double negative because it's not intelligent nor makes sense. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier 75% of the emails you receive at home have the phrase "now following you on Twitter!" in the subject line. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You petition Ken Burns to remake Office Space because it should have been 18 hours long. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You select a candidate for a Jr DBA position because his resume said he's willing to get your coffee. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Somebody misquotes @PaulRandall and you call him on your cell to verify. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You wish the elevator in your building was slower because it's the last time you'll be left alone all day. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier The developers sacrifice small animals before giving you their code for review. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Developers bring you coffee and a BLT when you review their code. #youmightbeaDBA #IWish  SQLSoldier You can get out of any family get-together by saying you have to work and nobody questions it. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You've requested a HP Superdome for you "test" box. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your leave work early because your internet connection to the data center is better at home #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier The new CEO asks you to justify your salary, so you go on vacation for 2 weeks. And he never questions you again. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You cheer when Milton burns down the company in Office Space #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier A dev. asks if you've heard about some great new feature in SQL and you show the 16 blog posts you wrote on it ... last year #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your dev team is still testing SQL 2008 and you're already planning for SQL 11. #youmightbeaDBA #TrueStory  SQLSoldier The new CEO asks you to justify your salary, so you go on vacation for 2 weeks. And he never questions you again. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your dev team is still testing SQL 2008 and you're already planning for SQL 11. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You use a cell phone service coverage map to plan your next vacation. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You come in to work at 7 AM because it gives you at least 3 hours without any developers around. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You figure out a way to make take your wife on a cruise and deduct it as a business expense. #youmightbeaDBA #sqlcruise  SQLSoldier You name your cat SQLDog because the name @SQLCat was already taken. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You rate your blog posts based on the number of retweets you get. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You disable random logins just to mess with people. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You fall for the pickup line, "Hey baby, what's your collation?" #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You can blame an outage on anyone in the company because you're the only one that knows how to find out what really happened #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You can blame an outage on anyone in the company because you're the only one that knows how to find out what really happened #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You cheer when Milton burns down the company in Office Space #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your leave work early because your internet connection to the data center is better at home #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You cheer when Milton burns down the company in Office Space #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your think the 4 food groups are coffee, bacon, fast food, and Mountain Dew. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You tell someone your job title and they ask "What?" You describe it and they ask "What?". So you say "computer geek". #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier The #1 referrer to your blog is Twitter.com. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your idea of a good time on a Saturday involves free training. #youmightbeaDBA #sqlsat43  SQLSoldier You write a book that all of your co-workers have and none have read it. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You write a book that sells a couple thousand copies and is heralded a best seller. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier No matter how sick you are, you go to work if it's time to pass the pager on to the next guy. #youmightbeaDBA #TrueStory  SQLSoldier You go out on the town, and strangers walk up to you and say, "Hey you're that SQL guy" #youmightbeaDBA #TrueStory  SQLSoldier Your wife asks you to fix something, and you request a downtime window. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your wife asks when you'll be home, and you tell her that you wish you knew. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your best pickup line, "Hey baby, what's your collation?" #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your wife asks when you'll be home, and you tell her that you wish you knew. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You know that @BuckWoody is not someone's porno name. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You list TSQL as your native language on the 2010 census. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Starbucks' stock price drops every time you go on vacation. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You're happy when the web master says that the website is down. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You know that @BuckWoody is not someone's porno name. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You get mad when someone calls your car a "heap" because you've always considered it to be a "clustered index". #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your blog has more hits than your company's website. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You systematically remove the asterisk key from all keyboards in the company except yours. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier When asked if you recycle, you reply that you run sp_cycle_errorlog every night at midnight #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You wouldn't allow someone named @AdamMachanic to work on your car. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You switch offices every 3 days to avoid developers #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier PSS has your number on speed dial. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You frown when you they tell Neo that he's going to the Oracle #youmightbeaDBA  swhaley you regretted saying "This shouldn't effect production" #youmightbeaDBA  swhaley you regretted saying "This shouldn't effect production" #youmightbeaDBA  Tarwn A pleasurable saturday means spending the day learning more about what you already do the rest of the week #youmightbeaDBA ...oh, wait...  thelostforum For great justice; all our base are belong to YOU !! #youmightbeadba  thelostforum @SQLSoldier: You need a witness to use a mirror #youmightbeaDBA ;)  TimCost you capitalize key words. always. everywhere. you can't help it, usually don't even notice. #youmightbeaDBA  Toshana Your the only one in your company not impressed with the developers new application. #youmightbeaDBA  venzann Coming soon from a (respected) book publisher - @buckwoody's #youmightbeaDBA  venzann He's on a role tonight. @buckwoody is summing up my life with his #youmightbeaDBA tweets...  venzann I love the #youmightbeaDBA tag. Found at least 6 new DBAs to follow..  venzann He's on a role tonight. @buckwoody is summing up my life with his #youmightbeaDBA tweets...  venzann You use #sqlhelp as a primary resource during troubleshooting #youmightbeaDBA  venzann You insist on stricter password security for your sql servers than you implement on your own laptop #youmightbeaDBA  WesBrownSQL @buckwoody you are up so late the only tweets you see are from @buckwoody #youmightbeaDBA  WesBrownSQL @SQLSoldier you are upgrading all your 2005 prod servers to 2008 R2 on a three day weekend... #youmightbeaDBA  zippy1981 #youmightbeaDBA if everytime you do something with #mongodb you think of the Vulcan proverb "only Nixon could go to China."  Share this post: email it! | bookmark it! | digg it! | reddit! | kick it! | live it!

    Read the article

facebook twitter digg google delicious technorati stumbleupon myspace wordpress linkedin gmail igoogle windows live tumblr viadeo yahoo buzz yahoo mail yahoo bookmarks favorites email print

1