Search Results

Search found 9 results on 1 pages for 'dazzle'.

Page 1/1 | 1 

  • dazzle DVC100 in live movie maker

    - by Jonathan
    How can I use the Pinnacle Dazzle (it is a USB device which lets you plug in a video player or other analogue source) with Windows live movie maker (because it is just simple and I don't need effects/editing etc) Or is there a way I can use it on my Macbook Pro? Jonathan

    Read the article

  • What's wrong with my wireless?

    - by dazzle
    I am having issues with my wireless connection. My connection is constantly disconnecting, then attempting to reconnect, reconnecting momentarily, then disconnecting etc. on times scales that range from seconds to minutes. In the meantime, needless to say I'm having significant packet loss. I'm running Ubuntu 14.04 64bit, updated and upgraded to today. Here is my card and driver: delta@sager:~$ lspci -vq | grep -i wireless -B 1 -A 5 04:00.0 Network controller: Intel Corporation Wireless 7260 (rev 73) Subsystem: Intel Corporation Dual Band Wireless-AC 7260 Flags: bus master, fast devsel, latency 0, IRQ 47 Memory at f7d00000 (64-bit, non-prefetchable) [size=8K] Capabilities: Kernel driver in use: iwlwifi Here is my kernel: delta@sager:~$ uname -r 3.13.0-34-generic None of the other machines on my home network are having these issues. Windows Vista is networking without issue for goodness sake ;-) Here is a small clipping from the output of dmesg. As you can see, I am getting a cfg80211 message of some sort over and over again (FYI, I've replaced my MAC address with a series of dashes, so anytime there is a ---------------, that was where the MAC address was: [ 1881.739161] wlan1: authenticate with --------------- [ 1881.741561] wlan1: send auth to --------------- (try 1/3) [ 1881.743440] wlan1: authenticated [ 1881.746027] wlan1: associate with --------------- (try 1/3) [ 1881.749244] wlan1: RX AssocResp from --------------- (capab=0x411 status=0 aid=4) [ 1881.754727] wlan1: associated [ 1881.754827] cfg80211: Calling CRDA for country: US [ 1881.761552] cfg80211: Regulatory domain changed to country: US [ 1881.761559] cfg80211: (start_freq - end_freq @ bandwidth), (max_antenna_gain, max_eirp) [ 1881.761564] cfg80211: (2402000 KHz - 2472000 KHz @ 40000 KHz), (300 mBi, 2700 mBm) [ 1881.761568] cfg80211: (5170000 KHz - 5250000 KHz @ 40000 KHz), (300 mBi, 1700 mBm) [ 1881.761571] cfg80211: (5250000 KHz - 5330000 KHz @ 40000 KHz), (300 mBi, 2000 mBm) [ 1881.761574] cfg80211: (5490000 KHz - 5600000 KHz @ 40000 KHz), (300 mBi, 2000 mBm) [ 1881.761577] cfg80211: (5650000 KHz - 5710000 KHz @ 40000 KHz), (300 mBi, 2000 mBm) [ 1881.761580] cfg80211: (5735000 KHz - 5835000 KHz @ 40000 KHz), (300 mBi, 3000 mBm) [ 1881.761584] cfg80211: (57240000 KHz - 63720000 KHz @ 2160000 KHz), (N/A, 4000 mBm) [ 1882.391038] cfg80211: Calling CRDA to update world regulatory domain [ 1882.396254] cfg80211: World regulatory domain updated: [ 1882.396260] cfg80211: (start_freq - end_freq @ bandwidth), (max_antenna_gain, max_eirp) [ 1882.396265] cfg80211: (2402000 KHz - 2472000 KHz @ 40000 KHz), (300 mBi, 2000 mBm) [ 1882.396268] cfg80211: (2457000 KHz - 2482000 KHz @ 40000 KHz), (300 mBi, 2000 mBm) [ 1882.396271] cfg80211: (2474000 KHz - 2494000 KHz @ 20000 KHz), (300 mBi, 2000 mBm) [ 1882.396274] cfg80211: (5170000 KHz - 5250000 KHz @ 40000 KHz), (300 mBi, 2000 mBm) [ 1882.396277] cfg80211: (5735000 KHz - 5835000 KHz @ 40000 KHz), (300 mBi, 2000 mBm) [ 1886.148252] wlan1: authenticate with --------------- [ 1886.150005] wlan1: send auth to --------------- (try 1/3) [ 1886.151807] wlan1: authenticated [ 1886.154847] wlan1: associate with --------------- (try 1/3) [ 1886.158147] wlan1: RX AssocResp from --------------- (capab=0x411 status=0 aid=4) [ 1886.163464] wlan1: associated [ 1886.163520] wlan1: Limiting TX power to 30 (30 - 0) dBm as advertised by --------------- [ 1886.163588] cfg80211: Calling CRDA for country: US [ 1886.170500] cfg80211: Regulatory domain changed to country: US [ 1886.170508] cfg80211: (start_freq - end_freq @ bandwidth), (max_antenna_gain, max_eirp) [ 1886.170513] cfg80211: (2402000 KHz - 2472000 KHz @ 40000 KHz), (300 mBi, 2700 mBm) [ 1886.170517] cfg80211: (5170000 KHz - 5250000 KHz @ 40000 KHz), (300 mBi, 1700 mBm) [ 1886.170520] cfg80211: (5250000 KHz - 5330000 KHz @ 40000 KHz), (300 mBi, 2000 mBm) [ 1886.170523] cfg80211: (5490000 KHz - 5600000 KHz @ 40000 KHz), (300 mBi, 2000 mBm) [ 1886.170526] cfg80211: (5650000 KHz - 5710000 KHz @ 40000 KHz), (300 mBi, 2000 mBm) [ 1886.170529] cfg80211: (5735000 KHz - 5835000 KHz @ 40000 KHz), (300 mBi, 3000 mBm) [ 1886.170533] cfg80211: (57240000 KHz - 63720000 KHz @ 2160000 KHz), (N/A, 4000 mBm) [ 1887.200197] cfg80211: Calling CRDA to update world regulatory domain [ 1887.203655] cfg80211: World regulatory domain updated: [ 1887.203659] cfg80211: (start_freq - end_freq @ bandwidth), (max_antenna_gain, max_eirp) [ 1887.203662] cfg80211: (2402000 KHz - 2472000 KHz @ 40000 KHz), (300 mBi, 2000 mBm) [ 1887.203664] cfg80211: (2457000 KHz - 2482000 KHz @ 40000 KHz), (300 mBi, 2000 mBm) [ 1887.203666] cfg80211: (2474000 KHz - 2494000 KHz @ 20000 KHz), (300 mBi, 2000 mBm) [ 1887.203668] cfg80211: (5170000 KHz - 5250000 KHz @ 40000 KHz), (300 mBi, 2000 mBm) [ 1887.203670] cfg80211: (5735000 KHz - 5835000 KHz @ 40000 KHz), (300 mBi, 2000 mBm) I've poked around on AskUbuntu, and have not found any adequate solutions; have also found similar threads that were left unanswered. Any advice/experience/threads I might be able to pull on would be greatly appreciated. In your opinion, is this a kernel issue, hardware issue, etc.? Thanks in advance. EDIT: chili, here's the output of iwconfig: delta@sager:~$ iwconfig wlan1 IEEE 802.11abg ESSID:"LANbeforetime" Mode:Managed Frequency:2.412 GHz Access Point: ----------- Bit Rate=48 Mb/s Tx-Power=16 dBm Retry long limit:7 RTS thr:off Fragment thr:off Power Management:off Link Quality=44/70 Signal level=-66 dBm Rx invalid nwid:0 Rx invalid crypt:0 Rx invalid frag:0 Tx excessive retries:0 Invalid misc:80 Missed beacon:0 eth0 no wireless extensions. lo no wireless extensions.

    Read the article

  • Video from vhs via USB capture device on Linux

    - by Juanlu001
    I want to transfer video from a VHS tape to my computer with Arch Linux, using a USB capture device that comes with Roxio Easy VHS to DVD, which I recently bought. I tried to plug in the device, and it was properly recognized. From /var/log/messages.log, em28xx #0: Identified as Pinnacle Dazzle DVC 90/100/101/107 / Kaiser Baas Video to DVD maker / Kworld DVD Maker 2 (card=9) saa7115 3-0025: saa7113 found (1f7113d0e100000) @ 0x4a (em28xx #0) em28xx #0: Config register raw data: 0x50 em28xx #0: AC97 vendor ID = 0xffffffff em28xx #0: AC97 features = 0x6a90 em28xx #0: Empia 202 AC97 audio processor detected em28xx #0: v4l2 driver version 0.1.2 em28xx #0: V4L2 video device registered as video1 em28xx #0: V4L2 VBI device registered as vbi0 Is there any software that enables me to capture video coming from this device? I don't mind if it is console or GUI based.

    Read the article

  • Can gnome windows (in Ubuntu) be individually themed?

    - by Peter.O
    (Yes, "individually themed" is an oxymoron, but I still want it.) I've just moved from Windows to Ubuntu Linux, and although I am enjoying this new adventure playground, I've encountered something quite unexpected... and its bugging me. It is probably because there are so many gnome apps in Ubuntu (... how strange :) This is great. and the range of available apps is excellent! ...but because of this one-stop-shop scenario, most of the windows look remarkably similar. I'm certainly not after bling-maximus, but I would like a few differentiating colours for my not-so-young eyes to help identify an app at a glance (especially in the compiz lists) ... I love compiz :) I thought it was just a bit of razzle-dazzle, and that alone would be enough, but it is actually very practical to boot. So, basically, I'm wondering if there is a way to theme individual window components on a per app basis... especially the window decoration; menu bar, etc. Thanks.

    Read the article

  • Adding a Contact with the Google Contacts .NET API

    - by Bryan
    I am using the following code to add a contact, but I get the following unhandled exception: Google.GData.Client.GDataRequestException: Execution of request failed: http://www.google.com/m8/feeds/contacts/default/full GDataCredentials myCred = new GDataCredentials("myusername", "mypassword"); RequestSettings myRequestSettings = new RequestSettings("macpapa-GoogleCodeTest3-1", myCred); ContactsRequest myContactRequest = new ContactsRequest(myRequestSettings); Contact myContact = new Contact(); myContact.Title = "Be Dazzle"; PhoneNumber myPhoneNumber = new PhoneNumber("805-453-6688"); myPhoneNumber.Rel = ContactsRelationships.IsGeneral; myPhoneNumber.Primary = true; myContact.Phonenumbers.Add(myPhoneNumber); EMail myEmail = new EMail("[email protected]", ContactsRelationships.IsHome); EMail myEmail2 = new EMail("[email protected]", ContactsRelationships.IsWork); myEmail.Primary = true; myContact.Emails.Add(myEmail); myContact.Emails.Add(myEmail2); PostalAddress postalAddress = new PostalAddress(); postalAddress.Value = "123 somewhere lane"; postalAddress.Primary = true; postalAddress.Rel = ContactsRelationships.IsHome; myContact.PostalAddresses.Add(postalAddress); Uri feedUri = new Uri(ContactsQuery.CreateContactsUri("default")); Contact createdContact = myContactRequest.Insert<Contact>(feedUri, myContact); Please offer any available suggestions. Thank you.

    Read the article

  • jquery .hide() bug in safari

    - by phil crowe
    ive been having issues with this hide bug thats only affecting safari. This is a simple vertical scroller that hides the first element in the list then shows the last. and works in everything apart from safari. the problem seems to be that the divs im working with here share the same class but have unique ids like #mycollectioncomment1, #mycollectioncomment2, #mycollectioncomment3 etc... however hiding just one of these divs hides all the other divs that share the same class. Ive tried .fadeOut(0) that everyone suggests as the work around but it just doesnt work here. var commentListCount = $(".myCollectionLatest").size(); var mycollclickCount = 0; var showingcomments = 5; if ($('.licomment').size() > 0) { showingcomments = 4; //alert("this"); } if ($('.lookInSeasonList').size() > 0) { showingcomments = 5; } if ($('.lookDescMiddle').size() > 0) { showingcomments = 8; } if ($('.MyCollectionsCollectionHolder').size() > 0) { showingcomments = 5; } // if (commentListCount > 5) { $(".myCollectionLatest").hide(); for (i = 0; i < showingcomments; i++) { $("#mycollectioncomment" + i).show(); } $('#mycolldown').click(function () { var element1, element2; if (showingcomments <= commentListCount) { mycollclickCount++; element1 = $("#mycollectioncomment" + mycollclickCount.toString()); element2 = $("#mycollectioncomment" + showingcomments.toString()); element1.closest('.licomment').hide(); element2.closest('.licomment').show(); showingcomments++; } }); $('#mycollup').click(function () { if (showingcomments <= 5) { } else { $("#mycollectioncomment" + mycollclickCount.toString()).show(); $("#mycollectioncomment" + mycollclickCount.toString()).closest('.licomment').show(); mycollclickCount--; showingcomments--; $("#mycollectioncomment" + showingcomments.toString()).hide(); $("#mycollectioncomment" + showingcomments.toString()).closest('.licomment').show(); } }); ---html markup --- <div style="width:260px; height:975px; float:left; border-right:solid 1px #e70079; border-bottom:solid 1px #e70079; border-left:solid 1px #e70079; margin-top:180px;"> <h2 align="center"> <br /> COLLECTION LATEST </h2> <img src="/images/my-collection/black-up.jpg" id="mycollup" /><ul><li class="licomment"><div class="myCollectionLatest" id="mycollectioncomment1"><div style="float:left;"><div class="colltoppic"><a href="/my-collection.aspx?memberId=6855"><img src="/media/6855/makeuo_main.jpg" width="74" height="74" onerror="ImgError(this);" /></a></div><div class="collbottompic" /><div style="float:left; position:absolute; margin-left:83px; margin-top:-84px;" class="mycolllatestlinks"><b><a href="/my-collection.aspx?memberId=6855" class="usernamelinkdiv">CHARLOTTE</a> SAID ABOUT <span class="pinkTxt"><br /><a href="/products/face/powder/pressed-powder.aspx">PRESSED POWDER</a></span></b><p>put this on after foundation. its the best cover powder + re... </p></div><div class="randomCommentsSeeMore"><span class="pinkTxt"><a href="/my-collection.aspx?memberId=6855"> See more <img src="/images/navControls/more-arrow.jpg" alt="see more" /></a></span></div></div></div></li><li class="licomment"><div class="myCollectionLatest" id="mycollectioncomment2"><div style="float:left;"><div class="colltoppic"><a href="/my-collection.aspx?memberId=6331"><img src="/media/6331/26462_1267423081357_1103204986_2592317_7875205_n_main.jpg" width="74" height="74" onerror="ImgError(this);" /></a></div><div class="collbottompic" /><div style="float:left; position:absolute; margin-left:83px; margin-top:-84px;" class="mycolllatestlinks"><b><a href="/my-collection.aspx?memberId=6331" class="usernamelinkdiv">ANN</a> SAID ABOUT <span class="pinkTxt"><br /><a href="/products/eyes/eyeshadow/brilliant-shimmer-duo-eye-wands.aspx">BRILLIANT SHIMMER DUO EYE WANDS</a></span></b><p>Likewise Natasha, i thought it would be a great product as i... </p></div><div class="randomCommentsSeeMore"><span class="pinkTxt"><a href="/my-collection.aspx?memberId=6331"> See more <img src="/images/navControls/more-arrow.jpg" alt="see more" /></a></span></div></div></div></li><li class="licomment"><div class="myCollectionLatest" id="mycollectioncomment3"><div style="float:left;"><div class="colltoppic"><a href="/my-collection.aspx?memberId=5168"><img src="/media/5168/P03-09-09_11.36_main.jpg" width="74" height="74" onerror="ImgError(this);" /></a></div><div class="collbottompic" /><div style="float:left; position:absolute; margin-left:83px; margin-top:-84px;" class="mycolllatestlinks"><b><a href="/my-collection.aspx?memberId=5168">SINYEE</a> SAID </b><p>i used to use this. but now it doesnt seem to go on my skin... </p></div><div class="randomCommentsSeeMore"><span class="pinkTxt"><a href="/my-collection.aspx?memberId=5168"> See more <img src="/images/navControls/more-arrow.jpg" alt="see more" /></a></span></div></div></div></li><li class="licomment"><div class="myCollectionLatest" id="mycollectioncomment4"><div style="float:left;"><div class="colltoppic"><a href="/my-collection.aspx?memberId=6941"><img src="/media/6941/purple 2_main.jpg" width="74" height="74" onerror="ImgError(this);" /></a></div><div class="collbottompic" /><div style="float:left; position:absolute; margin-left:83px; margin-top:-84px;" class="mycolllatestlinks"><b><a href="/my-collection.aspx?memberId=6941">MARIA</a> SAID </b><p>I love this product, not used creme blush for years so just ... </p></div><div class="randomCommentsSeeMore"><span class="pinkTxt"><a href="/my-collection.aspx?memberId=6941"> See more <img src="/images/navControls/more-arrow.jpg" alt="see more" /></a></span></div></div></div></li><li class="licomment"><div class="myCollectionLatest" id="mycollectioncomment5"><div style="float:left;"><div class="colltoppic"><a href="/my-collection.aspx?memberId=6329"><img src="/media/6329/snapshot_main.jpg" width="74" height="74" onerror="ImgError(this);" /></a></div><div class="collbottompic" /><div style="float:left; position:absolute; margin-left:83px; margin-top:-84px;" class="mycolllatestlinks"><b><a href="/my-collection.aspx?memberId=6329" class="usernamelinkdiv">ALICE</a> SAID ABOUT <span class="pinkTxt"><br /><a href="/products/eyes/mascara/collagen-curl-mascara.aspx">COLLAGEN CURL MASCARA</a></span></b><p> if you put a few drops of water in it, you will be stunne... </p></div><div class="randomCommentsSeeMore"><span class="pinkTxt"><a href="/my-collection.aspx?memberId=6329"> See more <img src="/images/navControls/more-arrow.jpg" alt="see more" /></a></span></div></div></div></li><li class="licomment"><div class="myCollectionLatest" id="mycollectioncomment6"><div style="float:left;"><div class="colltoppic"><a href="/my-collection.aspx?memberId=4466"><img src="/media/4466/DSC00260_main.jpg" width="74" height="74" onerror="ImgError(this);" /></a></div><div class="collbottompic" /><div style="float:left; position:absolute; margin-left:83px; margin-top:-84px;" class="mycolllatestlinks"><b><a href="/my-collection.aspx?memberId=4466" class="usernamelinkdiv">KATE</a> SAID ABOUT <span class="pinkTxt"><br /><a href="/products/eyes/eyeshadow/eye-palettes.aspx">EYE PALETTES</a></span></b><p>Went to Superdrug and saw these, i bought the pop-tastic pal... </p></div><div class="randomCommentsSeeMore"><span class="pinkTxt"><a href="/my-collection.aspx?memberId=4466"> See more <img src="/images/navControls/more-arrow.jpg" alt="see more" /></a></span></div></div></div></li><li class="licomment"><div class="myCollectionLatest" id="mycollectioncomment7"><div style="float:left;"><div class="colltoppic"><a href="/my-collection.aspx?memberId=4756"><img src="/media/4756/dfgdf_main.jpg" width="74" height="74" onerror="ImgError(this);" /></a></div><div class="collbottompic" /><div style="float:left; position:absolute; margin-left:83px; margin-top:-84px;" class="mycolllatestlinks"><b><a href="/my-collection.aspx?memberId=4756">JULIE</a> SAID </b><p>They are great and look amazing on thier own with some masca... </p></div><div class="randomCommentsSeeMore"><span class="pinkTxt"><a href="/my-collection.aspx?memberId=4756"> See more <img src="/images/navControls/more-arrow.jpg" alt="see more" /></a></span></div></div></div></li><li class="licomment"><div class="myCollectionLatest" id="mycollectioncomment8"><div style="float:left;"><div class="colltoppic"><a href="/my-collection.aspx?memberId=7006"><img src="/media/7006/IMG_1441_main.jpg" width="74" height="74" onerror="ImgError(this);" /></a></div><div class="collbottompic" /><div style="float:left; position:absolute; margin-left:83px; margin-top:-84px;" class="mycolllatestlinks"><b><a href="/my-collection.aspx?memberId=7006" class="usernamelinkdiv">ABIR</a> SAID ABOUT <span class="pinkTxt"><br /><a href="/products/eyes/mascara/big-fake-false-lash-effect-mascara.aspx">BIG FAKE FALSE LASH EFFECT MASCARA</a></span></b><p>It's no good. since the time i started using it i have had m... </p></div><div class="randomCommentsSeeMore"><span class="pinkTxt"><a href="/my-collection.aspx?memberId=7006"> See more <img src="/images/navControls/more-arrow.jpg" alt="see more" /></a></span></div></div></div></li><li class="licomment"><div class="myCollectionLatest" id="mycollectioncomment9"><div style="float:left;"><div class="colltoppic"><a href="/my-collection.aspx?memberId=5242"><img src="/media/5242/me_main.jpg" width="74" height="74" onerror="ImgError(this);" /></a></div><div class="collbottompic" /><div style="float:left; position:absolute; margin-left:83px; margin-top:-84px;" class="mycolllatestlinks"><b><a href="/my-collection.aspx?memberId=5242" class="usernamelinkdiv">REIKO</a> SAID ABOUT <span class="pinkTxt"><br /><a href="/products/eyes/eyeshadow/dazzle-me!-eye-dust.aspx">DAZZLE ME! EYE DUST</a></span></b><p>Brilliant Pigment Eye shadow dusts, stop wasting your money ... </p></div><div class="randomCommentsSeeMore"><span class="pinkTxt"><a href="/my-collection.aspx?memberId=5242"> See more <img src="/images/navControls/more-arrow.jpg" alt="see more" /></a></span></div></div></div></li><li class="licomment"><div class="myCollectionLatest" id="mycollectioncomment10"><div style="float:left;"><div class="colltoppic"><a href="/my-collection.aspx?memberId=5048"><img src="/media/5048/Melissa x_main.jpg" width="74" height="74" onerror="ImgError(this);" /></a></div><div class="collbottompic" /><div style="float:left; position:absolute; margin-left:83px; margin-top:-84px;" class="mycolllatestlinks"><b><a href="/my-collection.aspx?memberId=5048">MELISSA</a> SAID </b><p>I have the whole collection and wear it everyday :D I absolu... </p></div><div class="randomCommentsSeeMore"><span class="pinkTxt"><a href="/my-collection.aspx?memberId=5048"> See more <img src="/images/navControls/more-arrow.jpg" alt="see more" /></a></span></div></div></div></li></ul><img src="/images/my-collection/black-down.jpg" id="mycolldown" /><script> if (BrowserDetect.browser == "Safari") { if ($('#myCollectionFeaturedCollection').size() == 1) { $('#mycolldown').css({ "margin-top": "580px !important" }); } else { $('#mycolldown').css({ "margin-top": "380px !important" }); } } </script> <!--<img src="/images/my-collection/black-up.jpg" id="mycollup" /><ul /><img src="/images/my-collection/black-down.jpg" id="mycolldown" /> --> </div>

    Read the article

  • The Presentation Isn't Over Until It's Over

    - by Phil Factor
    The senior corporate dignitaries settled into their seats looking important in a blue-suited sort of way. The lights dimmed as I strode out in front to give my presentation.  I had ten vital minutes to make my pitch.  I was about to dazzle the top management of a large software company who were considering the purchase of my software product. I would present them with a dazzling synthesis of diagrams, graphs, followed by  a live demonstration of my software projected from my laptop.  My preparation had been meticulous: It had to be: A year’s hard work was at stake, so I’d prepared it to perfection.  I stood up and took them all in, with a gaze of sublime confidence. Then the laptop expired. There are several possible alternative plans of action when this happens     A. Stare at the smoking laptop vacuously, flapping ones mouth slowly up and down     B. Stand frozen like a statue, locked in indecision between fright and flight.     C. Run out of the room, weeping     D. Pretend that this was all planned     E. Abandon the presentation in favour of a stilted and tedious dissertation about the software     F. Shake your fist at the sky, and curse the sense of humour of your preferred deity I started for a few seconds on plan B, normally referred to as the ‘Rabbit in the headlamps of the car’ technique. Suddenly, a little voice inside my head spoke. It spoke the famous inane words of Yogi Berra; ‘The game isn't over until it's over.’ ‘Too right’, I thought. What to do? I ran through the alternatives A-F inclusive in my mind but none appealed to me. I was completely unprepared for this. Nowadays, longevity has since taught me more than I wanted to know about the wacky sense of humour of fate, and I would have taken two laptops. I hadn’t, but decided to do the presentation anyway as planned. I started out ignoring the dead laptop, but pretending, instead that it was still working. The audience looked startled. They were expecting plan B to be succeeded by plan C, I suspect. They weren’t used to denial on this scale. After my introductory talk, which didn’t require any visuals, I came to the diagram that described the application I’d written.  I’d taken ages over it and it was hot stuff. Well, it would have been had it been projected onto the screen. It wasn’t. Before I describe what happened then, I must explain that I have thespian tendencies.  My  triumph as Professor Higgins in My Fair Lady at the local operatic society is now long forgotten, but I remember at the time of my finest performance, the moment that, glancing up over the vast audience of  moist-eyed faces at the during the poignant  scene between Eliza and Higgins at the end, I  realised that I had a talent that one day could possibly  be harnessed for commercial use I just talked about the diagram as if it was there, but throwing in some extra description. The audience nodded helpfully when I’d done enough. Emboldened, I began a sort of mime, well, more of a ballet, to represent each slide as I came to it. Heaven knows I’d done my preparation and, in my mind’s eye, I could see every detail, but I had to somehow project the reality of that vision to the audience, much the same way any actor playing Macbeth should do the ghost of Banquo.  My desperation gave me a manic energy. If you’ve ever demonstrated a windows application entirely by mime, gesture and florid description, you’ll understand the scale of the challenge, but then I had nothing to lose. With a brief sentence of description here and there, and arms flailing whilst outlining the size and shape of  graphs and diagrams, I used the many tricks of mime, gesture and body-language  learned from playing Captain Hook, or the Sheriff of Nottingham in pantomime. I set out determinedly on my desperate venture. There wasn’t time to do anything but focus on the challenge of the task: the world around me narrowed down to ten faces and my presentation: ten souls who had to be hypnotized into seeing a Windows application:  one that was slick, well organized and functional I don’t remember the details. Eight minutes of my life are gone completely. I was a thespian berserker.  I know however that I followed the basic plan of building the presentation in a carefully controlled crescendo until the dazzling finale where the results were displayed on-screen.  ‘And here you see the results, neatly formatted and grouped carefully to enhance the significance of the figures, together with running trend-graphs!’ I waved a mime to signify an animated  window-opening, and looked up, in my first pause, to gaze defiantly  at the audience.  It was a sight I’ll never forget. Ten pairs of eyes were gazing in rapt attention at the imaginary window, and several pairs of eyes were glancing at the imaginary graphs and figures.  I hadn’t had an audience like that since my starring role in  Beauty and the Beast.  At that moment, I realized that my desperate ploy might work. I sat down, slightly winded, when my ten minutes were up.  For the first and last time in my life, the audience of a  ‘PowerPoint’ presentation burst into spontaneous applause. ‘Any questions?’ ‘Yes,  Have you got an agent?’ Yes, in case you’re wondering, I got the deal. They bought the software product from me there and then. However, it was a life-changing experience for me and I have never ever again trusted technology as part of a presentation.  Even if things can’t go wrong, they’ll go wrong and they’ll kill the flow of what you’re presenting.  if you can’t do something without the techno-props, then you shouldn’t do it.  The greatest lesson of all is that great presentations require preparation and  ‘stage-presence’ rather than fancy graphics. They’re a great supporting aid, but they should never dominate to the point that you’re lost without them.

    Read the article

  • When Your Boss Doesn't Want you to Succeed

    - by Phil Factor
    You're working hard to get an application finished. You are programming long into the evenings sometimes, and eating sandwiches at your desk instead of taking a lunch break. Then one day you glance up at the IT manager, serene in his mysterious round of meetings, and think 'Does he actually care whether this project succeeds or not?'. The question may seem absurd. Of course the project must succeed. The truth, as always, is often far more complex. Your manager may even be doing his best to make sure you don't succeed. Why? There have always been rich pickings for the unscrupulous in IT.  In extreme cases, where administrators struggle with scarcely-comprehended technical issues, huge sums of money can be lost and gained without any perceptible results. In a very few cases can fraud be proven: most of the time, the intricacies of the 'game' are such that one can do little more than harbor suspicion.  Where does over-enthusiastic salesmanship end and fraud begin? The Business of Information Technology provides rich opportunities for White-collar crime. The poor developer has his, or her, hands full with the task of wrestling with the sheer complexity of building an application. He, or she, has no time for following the complexities of the chicanery of the management that is directing affairs.  Most likely, the developers wouldn't even suspect that their company management had ulterior motives. I'll illustrate what I mean with an entirely fictional, hypothetical, example. The Opportunist and the Aged Charities often do good, unexciting work that is funded by the income from a bequest that dates back maybe hundreds of years.  In our example, it isn't exciting work, for it involves the welfare of elderly people who have fallen on hard times.  Volunteers visit, giving a smile and a chat, and check that they are all right, but are able to spend a little money on their discretion to ameliorate any pressing needs for these old folk.  The money is made to work very hard and the charity averts a great deal of suffering and eases the burden on the state. Daisy hears the garden gate creak as Mrs Rainer comes up the path. She looks forward to her twice-weekly visit from the nice lady from the trust. She always asked ‘is everything all right, Love’. Cheeky but nice. She likes her cheery manner. She seems interested in hearing her memories, and talking about her far-away family. She helps her with those chores in the house that she couldn’t manage and once even paid to fill the back-shed with coke, the other year. Nice, Mrs. Rainer is, she thought as she goes to open the door. The trustees are getting on in years themselves, and worry about the long-term future of the charity: is it relevant to modern society? Is it likely to attract a new generation of workers to take it on. They are instantly attracted by the arrival to the board of a smartly dressed University lecturer with the ear of the present Government. Alain 'Stalin' Jones is earnest, persuasive and energetic. The trustees welcome him to the board and quickly forgive his humorless political-correctness. He talks of 'diversity', 'relevance', 'social change', 'equality' and 'communities', but his eye is on that huge bequest. Alain first came to notice as a Trotskyite union official, who insinuated himself into one of the duller Trades Unions and turned it, through his passionate leadership, into a radical, headline-grabbing organization.  Middle age, and the rise of European federal socialism, had brought him quiet prosperity and charcoal suits, an ear in the current government, and a wide influence as a member of various Quangos (government bodies staffed by well-paid unelected courtiers).  He was employed as a 'consultant' by several organizations that relied on government contracts. After gaining the confidence of the trustees, and showing a surprising knowledge of mundane processes and the regulatory framework of charities, Alain launches his plan.  The trust will expand their work by means of a bold IT initiative that will coordinate the interventions of several 'caring agencies', and provide  emergency cover, a special Website so anxious relatives can see how their elderly charges are doing, and a vastly more efficient way of coordinating the work of the volunteer carers. It will also provide a special-purpose site that gives 'social networking' facilities, rather like Facebook, to the few elderly folk on the lists with access to the internet. The trustees perk up. Their own experience of the internet is restricted to the occasional scanning of railway timetables, but they can see that it is 'relevant'. In his next report to the other trustees, Alain proudly announces that all this glamorous and exciting technology can be paid for by a grant from the government. He admits darkly that he has influence. True to his word, the government promises a grant of a size that is an order of magnitude greater than any budget that the trustees had ever handled. There was the understandable proviso that the company that would actually do the IT work would have to be one of the government's preferred suppliers and the work would need to be tendered under EU competition rules. The only company that tenders, a multinational IT company with a long track record of government work, quotes ten million pounds for the work. A trustee questions the figure as it seems enormous for the reasonably trivial internet facilities being built, but the IT Salesmen dazzle them with presentations and three-letter acronyms until they subside into quiescent acceptance. After all, they can’t stay locked in the Twentieth century practices can they? The work is put in hand with a large project team, in a splendid glass building near west London. The trustees see rooms of programmers working diligently at screens, and who talk with enthusiasm of the project. Paul, the project manager, looked through his resource schedule with growing unease. His initial excitement at being given his first major project hadn’t lasted. He’d been allocated a lackluster team of developers whose skills didn’t seem right, and he was allowed only a couple of contractors to make good the deficit. Strangely, the presentation he’d given to his management, where he’d saved time and resources with a OTS solution to a great deal of the development work, and a sound conservative architecture, hadn’t gone down nearly as big as he’d hoped. He almost got the feeling they wanted a more radical and ambitious solution. The project starts slipping its dates. The costs build rapidly. There are certain uncomfortable extra charges that appear, such as the £600-a-day charge by the 'Business Manager' appointed to act as a point of liaison between the charity and the IT Company.  When he appeared, his face permanently split by a 'Mr Sincerity' smile, they'd thought he was provided at the cost of the IT Company. Derek, the DBA, didn’t have to go to the server room quite some much as he did: but It got him away from the poisonous despair of the development group. Wave after wave of events had conspired to delay the project.  Why the management had imposed hideous extra bureaucracy to cover ISO 9000 and 9001:2008 accreditation just as the project was struggling to get back on-schedule was  beyond belief.  Then  the Business manager was coming back with endless changes in scope, sorrowing saying that the Trustees were very insistent, though hopelessly out in touch with the reality of technical challenges. Suddenly, the costs mount to the point of consuming the government grant in its entirety. The project remains tantalizingly just out of reach. Alain Jones gives an emotional rallying speech at the trustees review meeting, urging them not to lose their nerve. Sadly, the trustees dip into the accumulated capital of the trust, the seed-corn of all their revenues, in order to save the IT project. A few months later it is all over. The IT project is never delivered, even though it had seemed so incredibly close.  With the trust's capital all gone, the activities it funded have to be terminated and the trust becomes just a shell. There aren't even the funds to mount a legal challenge against the IT company, even had the trust's solicitor advised such a foolish thing. Alain leaves as suddenly as he had arrived, only to pop up a few months later, bronzed and rested, at another charity. The IT workers who were permanent employees are dispersed to other projects, and the contractors leave to other contracts. Within months the entire project is but a vague memory. One or two developers remain  puzzled that their managers had been so obstructive when they should have welcomed progress toward completion of the project, but they put it down to incompetence and testosterone. Few suspected that they were actively preventing the project from getting finished. The relationships between the IT consultancy, and the government of the day are intricate, and made more complex by the Private Finance initiatives and political patronage.  The losers in this case were the taxpayers, and the beneficiaries of the trust, and, perhaps the soul of the original benefactor of the trust, whose bid to give his name some immortality had been scuppered by smooth-talking white-collar political apparatniks.  Even now, nobody is certain whether a crime was ever committed. The perfect heist, I guess. Where’s the victim? "I hear that Daisy’s cottage is up for sale. She’s had to go into a care home.  She didn’t want to at all, but then there is nobody to keep an eye on her since she had that minor stroke a while back.  A charity used to help out. The ‘social’ don’t have the funding, evidently for community care. Yes, her old cat was put down. There was a good clearout, and now the house is all scrubbed and cleared ready for sale. The skip was full of old photos and letters, memories. No room in her new ‘home’."

    Read the article

  • Agile Development

    - by James Oloo Onyango
    Alot of literature has and is being written about agile developement and its surrounding philosophies. In my quest to find the best way to express the importance of agile methodologies, i have found Robert C. Martin's "A Satire Of Two Companies" to be both the most concise and thorough! Enjoy the read! Rufus Inc Project Kick Off Your name is Bob. The date is January 3, 2001, and your head still aches from the recent millennial revelry. You are sitting in a conference room with several managers and a group of your peers. You are a project team leader. Your boss is there, and he has brought along all of his team leaders. His boss called the meeting. "We have a new project to develop," says your boss's boss. Call him BB. The points in his hair are so long that they scrape the ceiling. Your boss's points are just starting to grow, but he eagerly awaits the day when he can leave Brylcream stains on the acoustic tiles. BB describes the essence of the new market they have identified and the product they want to develop to exploit this market. "We must have this new project up and working by fourth quarter October 1," BB demands. "Nothing is of higher priority, so we are cancelling your current project." The reaction in the room is stunned silence. Months of work are simply going to be thrown away. Slowly, a murmur of objection begins to circulate around the conference table.   His points give off an evil green glow as BB meets the eyes of everyone in the room. One by one, that insidious stare reduces each attendee to quivering lumps of protoplasm. It is clear that he will brook no discussion on this matter. Once silence has been restored, BB says, "We need to begin immediately. How long will it take you to do the analysis?" You raise your hand. Your boss tries to stop you, but his spitwad misses you and you are unaware of his efforts.   "Sir, we can't tell you how long the analysis will take until we have some requirements." "The requirements document won't be ready for 3 or 4 weeks," BB says, his points vibrating with frustration. "So, pretend that you have the requirements in front of you now. How long will you require for analysis?" No one breathes. Everyone looks around to see whether anyone has some idea. "If analysis goes beyond April 1, we have a problem. Can you finish the analysis by then?" Your boss visibly gathers his courage: "We'll find a way, sir!" His points grow 3 mm, and your headache increases by two Tylenol. "Good." BB smiles. "Now, how long will it take to do the design?" "Sir," you say. Your boss visibly pales. He is clearly worried that his 3 mms are at risk. "Without an analysis, it will not be possible to tell you how long design will take." BB's expression shifts beyond austere.   "PRETEND you have the analysis already!" he says, while fixing you with his vacant, beady little eyes. "How long will it take you to do the design?" Two Tylenol are not going to cut it. Your boss, in a desperate attempt to save his new growth, babbles: "Well, sir, with only six months left to complete the project, design had better take no longer than 3 months."   "I'm glad you agree, Smithers!" BB says, beaming. Your boss relaxes. He knows his points are secure. After a while, he starts lightly humming the Brylcream jingle. BB continues, "So, analysis will be complete by April 1, design will be complete by July 1, and that gives you 3 months to implement the project. This meeting is an example of how well our new consensus and empowerment policies are working. Now, get out there and start working. I'll expect to see TQM plans and QIT assignments on my desk by next week. Oh, and don't forget that your crossfunctional team meetings and reports will be needed for next month's quality audit." "Forget the Tylenol," you think to yourself as you return to your cubicle. "I need bourbon."   Visibly excited, your boss comes over to you and says, "Gosh, what a great meeting. I think we're really going to do some world shaking with this project." You nod in agreement, too disgusted to do anything else. "Oh," your boss continues, "I almost forgot." He hands you a 30-page document. "Remember that the SEI is coming to do an evaluation next week. This is the evaluation guide. You need to read through it, memorize it, and then shred it. It tells you how to answer any questions that the SEI auditors ask you. It also tells you what parts of the building you are allowed to take them to and what parts to avoid. We are determined to be a CMM level 3 organization by June!"   You and your peers start working on the analysis of the new project. This is difficult because you have no requirements. But from the 10-minute introduction given by BB on that fateful morning, you have some idea of what the product is supposed to do.   Corporate process demands that you begin by creating a use case document. You and your team begin enumerating use cases and drawing oval and stick diagrams. Philosophical debates break out among the team members. There is disagreement as to whether certain use cases should be connected with <<extends>> or <<includes>> relationships. Competing models are created, but nobody knows how to evaluate them. The debate continues, effectively paralyzing progress.   After a week, somebody finds the iceberg.com Web site, which recommends disposing entirely of <<extends>> and <<includes>> and replacing them with <<precedes>> and <<uses>>. The documents on this Web site, authored by Don Sengroiux, describes a method known as stalwart-analysis, which claims to be a step-by-step method for translating use cases into design diagrams. More competing use case models are created using this new scheme, but again, people can't agree on how to evaluate them. The thrashing continues. More and more, the use case meetings are driven by emotion rather than by reason. If it weren't for the fact that you don't have requirements, you'd be pretty upset by the lack of progress you are making. The requirements document arrives on February 15. And then again on February 20, 25, and every week thereafter. Each new version contradicts the previous one. Clearly, the marketing folks who are writing the requirements, empowered though they might be, are not finding consensus.   At the same time, several new competing use case templates have been proposed by the various team members. Each template presents its own particularly creative way of delaying progress. The debates rage on. On March 1, Prudence Putrigence, the process proctor, succeeds in integrating all the competing use case forms and templates into a single, all-encompassing form. Just the blank form is 15 pages long. She has managed to include every field that appeared on all the competing templates. She also presents a 159- page document describing how to fill out the use case form. All current use cases must be rewritten according to the new standard.   You marvel to yourself that it now requires 15 pages of fill-in-the-blank and essay questions to answer the question: What should the system do when the user presses Return? The corporate process (authored by L. E. Ott, famed author of "Holistic Analysis: A Progressive Dialectic for Software Engineers") insists that you discover all primary use cases, 87 percent of all secondary use cases, and 36.274 percent of all tertiary use cases before you can complete analysis and enter the design phase. You have no idea what a tertiary use case is. So in an attempt to meet this requirement, you try to get your use case document reviewed by the marketing department, which you hope will know what a tertiary use case is.   Unfortunately, the marketing folks are too busy with sales support to talk to you. Indeed, since the project started, you have not been able to get a single meeting with marketing, which has provided a never-ending stream of changing and contradictory requirements documents.   While one team has been spinning endlessly on the use case document, another team has been working out the domain model. Endless variations of UML documents are pouring out of this team. Every week, the model is reworked.   The team members can't decide whether to use <<interfaces>> or <<types>> in the model. A huge disagreement has been raging on the proper syntax and application of OCL. Others on the team just got back from a 5-day class on catabolism, and have been producing incredibly detailed and arcane diagrams that nobody else can fathom.   On March 27, with one week to go before analysis is to be complete, you have produced a sea of documents and diagrams but are no closer to a cogent analysis of the problem than you were on January 3. **** And then, a miracle happens.   **** On Saturday, April 1, you check your e-mail from home. You see a memo from your boss to BB. It states unequivocally that you are done with the analysis! You phone your boss and complain. "How could you have told BB that we were done with the analysis?" "Have you looked at a calendar lately?" he responds. "It's April 1!" The irony of that date does not escape you. "But we have so much more to think about. So much more to analyze! We haven't even decided whether to use <<extends>> or <<precedes>>!" "Where is your evidence that you are not done?" inquires your boss, impatiently. "Whaaa . . . ." But he cuts you off. "Analysis can go on forever; it has to be stopped at some point. And since this is the date it was scheduled to stop, it has been stopped. Now, on Monday, I want you to gather up all existing analysis materials and put them into a public folder. Release that folder to Prudence so that she can log it in the CM system by Monday afternoon. Then get busy and start designing."   As you hang up the phone, you begin to consider the benefits of keeping a bottle of bourbon in your bottom desk drawer. They threw a party to celebrate the on-time completion of the analysis phase. BB gave a colon-stirring speech on empowerment. And your boss, another 3 mm taller, congratulated his team on the incredible show of unity and teamwork. Finally, the CIO takes the stage to tell everyone that the SEI audit went very well and to thank everyone for studying and shredding the evaluation guides that were passed out. Level 3 now seems assured and will be awarded by June. (Scuttlebutt has it that managers at the level of BB and above are to receive significant bonuses once the SEI awards level 3.)   As the weeks flow by, you and your team work on the design of the system. Of course, you find that the analysis that the design is supposedly based on is flawedno, useless; no, worse than useless. But when you tell your boss that you need to go back and work some more on the analysis to shore up its weaker sections, he simply states, "The analysis phase is over. The only allowable activity is design. Now get back to it."   So, you and your team hack the design as best you can, unsure of whether the requirements have been properly analyzed. Of course, it really doesn't matter much, since the requirements document is still thrashing with weekly revisions, and the marketing department still refuses to meet with you.     The design is a nightmare. Your boss recently misread a book named The Finish Line in which the author, Mark DeThomaso, blithely suggested that design documents should be taken down to code-level detail. "If we are going to be working at that level of detail," you ask, "why don't we simply write the code instead?" "Because then you wouldn't be designing, of course. And the only allowable activity in the design phase is design!" "Besides," he continues, "we have just purchased a companywide license for Dandelion! This tool enables 'Round the Horn Engineering!' You are to transfer all design diagrams into this tool. It will automatically generate our code for us! It will also keep the design diagrams in sync with the code!" Your boss hands you a brightly colored shrinkwrapped box containing the Dandelion distribution. You accept it numbly and shuffle off to your cubicle. Twelve hours, eight crashes, one disk reformatting, and eight shots of 151 later, you finally have the tool installed on your server. You consider the week your team will lose while attending Dandelion training. Then you smile and think, "Any week I'm not here is a good week." Design diagram after design diagram is created by your team. Dandelion makes it very difficult to draw these diagrams. There are dozens and dozens of deeply nested dialog boxes with funny text fields and check boxes that must all be filled in correctly. And then there's the problem of moving classes between packages. At first, these diagram are driven from the use cases. But the requirements are changing so often that the use cases rapidly become meaningless. Debates rage about whether VISITOR or DECORATOR design patterns should be used. One developer refuses to use VISITOR in any form, claiming that it's not a properly object-oriented construct. Someone refuses to use multiple inheritance, since it is the spawn of the devil. Review meetings rapidly degenerate into debates about the meaning of object orientation, the definition of analysis versus design, or when to use aggregation versus association. Midway through the design cycle, the marketing folks announce that they have rethought the focus of the system. Their new requirements document is completely restructured. They have eliminated several major feature areas and replaced them with feature areas that they anticipate customer surveys will show to be more appropriate. You tell your boss that these changes mean that you need to reanalyze and redesign much of the system. But he says, "The analysis phase is system. But he says, "The analysis phase is over. The only allowable activity is design. Now get back to it."   You suggest that it might be better to create a simple prototype to show to the marketing folks and even some potential customers. But your boss says, "The analysis phase is over. The only allowable activity is design. Now get back to it." Hack, hack, hack, hack. You try to create some kind of a design document that might reflect the new requirements documents. However, the revolution of the requirements has not caused them to stop thrashing. Indeed, if anything, the wild oscillations of the requirements document have only increased in frequency and amplitude.   You slog your way through them.   On June 15, the Dandelion database gets corrupted. Apparently, the corruption has been progressive. Small errors in the DB accumulated over the months into bigger and bigger errors. Eventually, the CASE tool just stopped working. Of course, the slowly encroaching corruption is present on all the backups. Calls to the Dandelion technical support line go unanswered for several days. Finally, you receive a brief e-mail from Dandelion, informing you that this is a known problem and that the solution is to purchase the new version, which they promise will be ready some time next quarter, and then reenter all the diagrams by hand.   ****   Then, on July 1 another miracle happens! You are done with the design!   Rather than go to your boss and complain, you stock your middle desk drawer with some vodka.   **** They threw a party to celebrate the on-time completion of the design phase and their graduation to CMM level 3. This time, you find BB's speech so stirring that you have to use the restroom before it begins. New banners and plaques are all over your workplace. They show pictures of eagles and mountain climbers, and they talk about teamwork and empowerment. They read better after a few scotches. That reminds you that you need to clear out your file cabinet to make room for the brandy. You and your team begin to code. But you rapidly discover that the design is lacking in some significant areas. Actually, it's lacking any significance at all. You convene a design session in one of the conference rooms to try to work through some of the nastier problems. But your boss catches you at it and disbands the meeting, saying, "The design phase is over. The only allowable activity is coding. Now get back to it."   ****   The code generated by Dandelion is really hideous. It turns out that you and your team were using association and aggregation the wrong way, after all. All the generated code has to be edited to correct these flaws. Editing this code is extremely difficult because it has been instrumented with ugly comment blocks that have special syntax that Dandelion needs in order to keep the diagrams in sync with the code. If you accidentally alter one of these comments, the diagrams will be regenerated incorrectly. It turns out that "Round the Horn Engineering" requires an awful lot of effort. The more you try to keep the code compatible with Dandelion, the more errors Dandelion generates. In the end, you give up and decide to keep the diagrams up to date manually. A second later, you decide that there's no point in keeping the diagrams up to date at all. Besides, who has time?   Your boss hires a consultant to build tools to count the number of lines of code that are being produced. He puts a big thermometer graph on the wall with the number 1,000,000 on the top. Every day, he extends the red line to show how many lines have been added. Three days after the thermometer appears on the wall, your boss stops you in the hall. "That graph isn't growing quickly enough. We need to have a million lines done by October 1." "We aren't even sh-sh-sure that the proshect will require a m-million linezh," you blather. "We have to have a million lines done by October 1," your boss reiterates. His points have grown again, and the Grecian formula he uses on them creates an aura of authority and competence. "Are you sure your comment blocks are big enough?" Then, in a flash of managerial insight, he says, "I have it! I want you to institute a new policy among the engineers. No line of code is to be longer than 20 characters. Any such line must be split into two or more preferably more. All existing code needs to be reworked to this standard. That'll get our line count up!"   You decide not to tell him that this will require two unscheduled work months. You decide not to tell him anything at all. You decide that intravenous injections of pure ethanol are the only solution. You make the appropriate arrangements. Hack, hack, hack, and hack. You and your team madly code away. By August 1, your boss, frowning at the thermometer on the wall, institutes a mandatory 50-hour workweek.   Hack, hack, hack, and hack. By September 1st, the thermometer is at 1.2 million lines and your boss asks you to write a report describing why you exceeded the coding budget by 20 percent. He institutes mandatory Saturdays and demands that the project be brought back down to a million lines. You start a campaign of remerging lines. Hack, hack, hack, and hack. Tempers are flaring; people are quitting; QA is raining trouble reports down on you. Customers are demanding installation and user manuals; salespeople are demanding advance demonstrations for special customers; the requirements document is still thrashing, the marketing folks are complaining that the product isn't anything like they specified, and the liquor store won't accept your credit card anymore. Something has to give.    On September 15, BB calls a meeting. As he enters the room, his points are emitting clouds of steam. When he speaks, the bass overtones of his carefully manicured voice cause the pit of your stomach to roll over. "The QA manager has told me that this project has less than 50 percent of the required features implemented. He has also informed me that the system crashes all the time, yields wrong results, and is hideously slow. He has also complained that he cannot keep up with the continuous train of daily releases, each more buggy than the last!" He stops for a few seconds, visibly trying to compose himself. "The QA manager estimates that, at this rate of development, we won't be able to ship the product until December!" Actually, you think it's more like March, but you don't say anything. "December!" BB roars with such derision that people duck their heads as though he were pointing an assault rifle at them. "December is absolutely out of the question. Team leaders, I want new estimates on my desk in the morning. I am hereby mandating 65-hour work weeks until this project is complete. And it better be complete by November 1."   As he leaves the conference room, he is heard to mutter: "Empowermentbah!" * * * Your boss is bald; his points are mounted on BB's wall. The fluorescent lights reflecting off his pate momentarily dazzle you. "Do you have anything to drink?" he asks. Having just finished your last bottle of Boone's Farm, you pull a bottle of Thunderbird from your bookshelf and pour it into his coffee mug. "What's it going to take to get this project done? " he asks. "We need to freeze the requirements, analyze them, design them, and then implement them," you say callously. "By November 1?" your boss exclaims incredulously. "No way! Just get back to coding the damned thing." He storms out, scratching his vacant head.   A few days later, you find that your boss has been transferred to the corporate research division. Turnover has skyrocketed. Customers, informed at the last minute that their orders cannot be fulfilled on time, have begun to cancel their orders. Marketing is re-evaluating whether this product aligns with the overall goals of the company. Memos fly, heads roll, policies change, and things are, overall, pretty grim. Finally, by March, after far too many sixty-five hour weeks, a very shaky version of the software is ready. In the field, bug-discovery rates are high, and the technical support staff are at their wits' end, trying to cope with the complaints and demands of the irate customers. Nobody is happy.   In April, BB decides to buy his way out of the problem by licensing a product produced by Rupert Industries and redistributing it. The customers are mollified, the marketing folks are smug, and you are laid off.     Rupert Industries: Project Alpha   Your name is Robert. The date is January 3, 2001. The quiet hours spent with your family this holiday have left you refreshed and ready for work. You are sitting in a conference room with your team of professionals. The manager of the division called the meeting. "We have some ideas for a new project," says the division manager. Call him Russ. He is a high-strung British chap with more energy than a fusion reactor. He is ambitious and driven but understands the value of a team. Russ describes the essence of the new market opportunity the company has identified and introduces you to Jane, the marketing manager, who is responsible for defining the products that will address it. Addressing you, Jane says, "We'd like to start defining our first product offering as soon as possible. When can you and your team meet with me?" You reply, "We'll be done with the current iteration of our project this Friday. We can spare a few hours for you between now and then. After that, we'll take a few people from the team and dedicate them to you. We'll begin hiring their replacements and the new people for your team immediately." "Great," says Russ, "but I want you to understand that it is critical that we have something to exhibit at the trade show coming up this July. If we can't be there with something significant, we'll lose the opportunity."   "I understand," you reply. "I don't yet know what it is that you have in mind, but I'm sure we can have something by July. I just can't tell you what that something will be right now. In any case, you and Jane are going to have complete control over what we developers do, so you can rest assured that by July, you'll have the most important things that can be accomplished in that time ready to exhibit."   Russ nods in satisfaction. He knows how this works. Your team has always kept him advised and allowed him to steer their development. He has the utmost confidence that your team will work on the most important things first and will produce a high-quality product.   * * *   "So, Robert," says Jane at their first meeting, "How does your team feel about being split up?" "We'll miss working with each other," you answer, "but some of us were getting pretty tired of that last project and are looking forward to a change. So, what are you people cooking up?" Jane beams. "You know how much trouble our customers currently have . . ." And she spends a half hour or so describing the problem and possible solution. "OK, wait a second" you respond. "I need to be clear about this." And so you and Jane talk about how this system might work. Some of her ideas aren't fully formed. You suggest possible solutions. She likes some of them. You continue discussing.   During the discussion, as each new topic is addressed, Jane writes user story cards. Each card represents something that the new system has to do. The cards accumulate on the table and are spread out in front of you. Both you and Jane point at them, pick them up, and make notes on them as you discuss the stories. The cards are powerful mnemonic devices that you can use to represent complex ideas that are barely formed.   At the end of the meeting, you say, "OK, I've got a general idea of what you want. I'm going to talk to the team about it. I imagine they'll want to run some experiments with various database structures and presentation formats. Next time we meet, it'll be as a group, and we'll start identifying the most important features of the system."   A week later, your nascent team meets with Jane. They spread the existing user story cards out on the table and begin to get into some of the details of the system. The meeting is very dynamic. Jane presents the stories in the order of their importance. There is much discussion about each one. The developers are concerned about keeping the stories small enough to estimate and test. So they continually ask Jane to split one story into several smaller stories. Jane is concerned that each story have a clear business value and priority, so as she splits them, she makes sure that this stays true.   The stories accumulate on the table. Jane writes them, but the developers make notes on them as needed. Nobody tries to capture everything that is said; the cards are not meant to capture everything but are simply reminders of the conversation.   As the developers become more comfortable with the stories, they begin writing estimates on them. These estimates are crude and budgetary, but they give Jane an idea of what the story will cost.   At the end of the meeting, it is clear that many more stories could be discussed. It is also clear that the most important stories have been addressed and that they represent several months worth of work. Jane closes the meeting by taking the cards with her and promising to have a proposal for the first release in the morning.   * * *   The next morning, you reconvene the meeting. Jane chooses five cards and places them on the table. "According to your estimates, these cards represent about one perfect team-week's worth of work. The last iteration of the previous project managed to get one perfect team-week done in 3 real weeks. If we can get these five stories done in 3 weeks, we'll be able to demonstrate them to Russ. That will make him feel very comfortable about our progress." Jane is pushing it. The sheepish look on her face lets you know that she knows it too. You reply, "Jane, this is a new team, working on a new project. It's a bit presumptuous to expect that our velocity will be the same as the previous team's. However, I met with the team yesterday afternoon, and we all agreed that our initial velocity should, in fact, be set to one perfectweek for every 3 real-weeks. So you've lucked out on this one." "Just remember," you continue, "that the story estimates and the story velocity are very tentative at this point. We'll learn more when we plan the iteration and even more when we implement it."   Jane looks over her glasses at you as if to say "Who's the boss around here, anyway?" and then smiles and says, "Yeah, don't worry. I know the drill by now."Jane then puts 15 more cards on the table. She says, "If we can get all these cards done by the end of March, we can turn the system over to our beta test customers. And we'll get good feedback from them."   You reply, "OK, so we've got our first iteration defined, and we have the stories for the next three iterations after that. These four iterations will make our first release."   "So," says Jane, can you really do these five stories in the next 3 weeks?" "I don't know for sure, Jane," you reply. "Let's break them down into tasks and see what we get."   So Jane, you, and your team spend the next several hours taking each of the five stories that Jane chose for the first iteration and breaking them down into small tasks. The developers quickly realize that some of the tasks can be shared between stories and that other tasks have commonalities that can probably be taken advantage of. It is clear that potential designs are popping into the developers' heads. From time to time, they form little discussion knots and scribble UML diagrams on some cards.   Soon, the whiteboard is filled with the tasks that, once completed, will implement the five stories for this iteration. You start the sign-up process by saying, "OK, let's sign up for these tasks." "I'll take the initial database generation." Says Pete. "That's what I did on the last project, and this doesn't look very different. I estimate it at two of my perfect workdays." "OK, well, then, I'll take the login screen," says Joe. "Aw, darn," says Elaine, the junior member of the team, "I've never done a GUI, and kinda wanted to try that one."   "Ah, the impatience of youth," Joe says sagely, with a wink in your direction. "You can assist me with it, young Jedi." To Jane: "I think it'll take me about three of my perfect workdays."   One by one, the developers sign up for tasks and estimate them in terms of their own perfect workdays. Both you and Jane know that it is best to let the developers volunteer for tasks than to assign the tasks to them. You also know full well that you daren't challenge any of the developers' estimates. You know these people, and you trust them. You know that they are going to do the very best they can.   The developers know that they can't sign up for more perfect workdays than they finished in the last iteration they worked on. Once each developer has filled his or her schedule for the iteration, they stop signing up for tasks.   Eventually, all the developers have stopped signing up for tasks. But, of course, tasks are still left on the board.   "I was worried that that might happen," you say, "OK, there's only one thing to do, Jane. We've got too much to do in this iteration. What stories or tasks can we remove?" Jane sighs. She knows that this is the only option. Working overtime at the beginning of a project is insane, and projects where she's tried it have not fared well.   So Jane starts to remove the least-important functionality. "Well, we really don't need the login screen just yet. We can simply start the system in the logged-in state." "Rats!" cries Elaine. "I really wanted to do that." "Patience, grasshopper." says Joe. "Those who wait for the bees to leave the hive will not have lips too swollen to relish the honey." Elaine looks confused. Everyone looks confused. "So . . .," Jane continues, "I think we can also do away with . . ." And so, bit by bit, the list of tasks shrinks. Developers who lose a task sign up for one of the remaining ones.   The negotiation is not painless. Several times, Jane exhibits obvious frustration and impatience. Once, when tensions are especially high, Elaine volunteers, "I'll work extra hard to make up some of the missing time." You are about to correct her when, fortunately, Joe looks her in the eye and says, "When once you proceed down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny."   In the end, an iteration acceptable to Jane is reached. It's not what Jane wanted. Indeed, it is significantly less. But it's something the team feels that can be achieved in the next 3 weeks.   And, after all, it still addresses the most important things that Jane wanted in the iteration. "So, Jane," you say when things had quieted down a bit, "when can we expect acceptance tests from you?" Jane sighs. This is the other side of the coin. For every story the development team implements,   Jane must supply a suite of acceptance tests that prove that it works. And the team needs these long before the end of the iteration, since they will certainly point out differences in the way Jane and the developers imagine the system's behaviour.   "I'll get you some example test scripts today," Jane promises. "I'll add to them every day after that. You'll have the entire suite by the middle of the iteration."   * * *   The iteration begins on Monday morning with a flurry of Class, Responsibilities, Collaborators sessions. By midmorning, all the developers have assembled into pairs and are rapidly coding away. "And now, my young apprentice," Joe says to Elaine, "you shall learn the mysteries of test-first design!"   "Wow, that sounds pretty rad," Elaine replies. "How do you do it?" Joe beams. It's clear that he has been anticipating this moment. "OK, what does the code do right now?" "Huh?" replied Elaine, "It doesn't do anything at all; there is no code."   "So, consider our task; can you think of something the code should do?" "Sure," Elaine said with youthful assurance, "First, it should connect to the database." "And thereupon, what must needs be required to connecteth the database?" "You sure talk weird," laughed Elaine. "I think we'd have to get the database object from some registry and call the Connect() method. "Ah, astute young wizard. Thou perceives correctly that we requireth an object within which we can cacheth the database object." "Is 'cacheth' really a word?" "It is when I say it! So, what test can we write that we know the database registry should pass?" Elaine sighs. She knows she'll just have to play along. "We should be able to create a database object and pass it to the registry in a Store() method. And then we should be able to pull it out of the registry with a Get() method and make sure it's the same object." "Oh, well said, my prepubescent sprite!" "Hay!" "So, now, let's write a test function that proves your case." "But shouldn't we write the database object and registry object first?" "Ah, you've much to learn, my young impatient one. Just write the test first." "But it won't even compile!" "Are you sure? What if it did?" "Uh . . ." "Just write the test, Elaine. Trust me." And so Joe, Elaine, and all the other developers began to code their tasks, one test case at a time. The room in which they worked was abuzz with the conversations between the pairs. The murmur was punctuated by an occasional high five when a pair managed to finish a task or a difficult test case.   As development proceeded, the developers changed partners once or twice a day. Each developer got to see what all the others were doing, and so knowledge of the code spread generally throughout the team.   Whenever a pair finished something significant whether a whole task or simply an important part of a task they integrated what they had with the rest of the system. Thus, the code base grew daily, and integration difficulties were minimized.   The developers communicated with Jane on a daily basis. They'd go to her whenever they had a question about the functionality of the system or the interpretation of an acceptance test case.   Jane, good as her word, supplied the team with a steady stream of acceptance test scripts. The team read these carefully and thereby gained a much better understanding of what Jane expected the system to do. By the beginning of the second week, there was enough functionality to demonstrate to Jane. She watched eagerly as the demonstration passed test case after test case. "This is really cool," Jane said as the demonstration finally ended. "But this doesn't seem like one-third of the tasks. Is your velocity slower than anticipated?"   You grimace. You'd been waiting for a good time to mention this to Jane but now she was forcing the issue. "Yes, unfortunately, we are going more slowly than we had expected. The new application server we are using is turning out to be a pain to configure. Also, it takes forever to reboot, and we have to reboot it whenever we make even the slightest change to its configuration."   Jane eyes you with suspicion. The stress of last Monday's negotiations had still not entirely dissipated. She says, "And what does this mean to our schedule? We can't slip it again, we just can't. Russ will have a fit! He'll haul us all into the woodshed and ream us some new ones."   You look Jane right in the eyes. There's no pleasant way to give someone news like this. So you just blurt out, "Look, if things keep going like they're going, we're not going to be done with everything by next Friday. Now it's possible that we'll figure out a way to go faster. But, frankly, I wouldn't depend on that. You should start thinking about one or two tasks that could be removed from the iteration without ruining the demonstration for Russ. Come hell or high water, we are going to give that demonstration on Friday, and I don't think you want us to choose which tasks to omit."   "Aw forchrisakes!" Jane barely manages to stifle yelling that last word as she stalks away, shaking her head. Not for the first time, you say to yourself, "Nobody ever promised me project management would be easy." You are pretty sure it won't be the last time, either.   Actually, things went a bit better than you had hoped. The team did, in fact, have to drop one task from the iteration, but Jane had chosen wisely, and the demonstration for Russ went without a hitch. Russ was not impressed with the progress, but neither was he dismayed. He simply said, "This is pretty good. But remember, we have to be able to demonstrate this system at the trade show in July, and at this rate, it doesn't look like you'll have all that much to show." Jane, whose attitude had improved dramatically with the completion of the iteration, responded to Russ by saying, "Russ, this team is working hard, and well. When July comes around, I am confident that we'll have something significant to demonstrate. It won't be everything, and some of it may be smoke and mirrors, but we'll have something."   Painful though the last iteration was, it had calibrated your velocity numbers. The next iteration went much better. Not because your team got more done than in the last iteration but simply because the team didn't have to remove any tasks or stories in the middle of the iteration.   By the start of the fourth iteration, a natural rhythm has been established. Jane, you, and the team know exactly what to expect from one another. The team is running hard, but the pace is sustainable. You are confident that the team can keep up this pace for a year or more.   The number of surprises in the schedule diminishes to near zero; however, the number of surprises in the requirements does not. Jane and Russ frequently look over the growing system and make recommendations or changes to the existing functionality. But all parties realize that these changes take time and must be scheduled. So the changes do not cause anyone's expectations to be violated. In March, there is a major demonstration of the system to the board of directors. The system is very limited and is not yet in a form good enough to take to the trade show, but progress is steady, and the board is reasonably impressed.   The second release goes even more smoothly than the first. By now, the team has figured out a way to automate Jane's acceptance test scripts. The team has also refactored the design of the system to the point that it is really easy to add new features and change old ones. The second release was done by the end of June and was taken to the trade show. It had less in it than Jane and Russ would have liked, but it did demonstrate the most important features of the system. Although customers at the trade show noticed that certain features were missing, they were very impressed overall. You, Russ, and Jane all returned from the trade show with smiles on your faces. You all felt as though this project was a winner.   Indeed, many months later, you are contacted by Rufus Inc. That company had been working on a system like this for its internal operations. Rufus has canceled the development of that system after a death-march project and is negotiating to license your technology for its environment.   Indeed, things are looking up!

    Read the article

1