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  • postfix relaying all mail through office365 problems

    - by amrith
    This is a rather long question with a long list of things tried and travails so please bear with me. The summary is this. I am able to relay email from ubuntu through office365 using postfix; the configuration works. It only works as one of the users; more specifically the user who authenticates against office365 is the only valid "from" More details follow. I have a machine in Amazon's cloud on which I run a bunch of jobs and would like to have statuses mailed over to me. I use office365 at work so I want to relay mail through office365. I'm most familiar with postfix so I used that as the MTA. Configuration is ubuntu 12.04LTS; I've installed postfix and mail-utils. For this example, let me say my company is "company.com" and the machine in question (through an elastic IP and a DNS entry) is called "plaything.company.com". hostname is set to "plaything.company.com", so is /etc/mailname On plaything, I have the following users registered alpha, bravo, and charlie. I have the following configuration files. alias_database = hash:/etc/aliases alias_maps = hash:/etc/aliases append_dot_mydomain = no biff = no config_directory = /etc/postfix inet_interfaces = all inet_protocols = ipv4 mailbox_size_limit = 0 mydestination = plaything.company.com, localhost.company.com, , localhost myhostname = plaything.company.com mynetworks = 127.0.0.0/8 [::ffff:127.0.0.0]/104 [::1]/128 myorigin = /etc/mailname readme_directory = no recipient_delimiter = + relayhost = [smtp.office365.com]:587 sender_canonical_maps = hash:/etc/postfix/sender_canonical smtp_sasl_auth_enable = yes smtp_sasl_password_maps = hash:/etc/postfix/sasl_passwd smtp_sasl_security_options = noanonymous smtp_sasl_tls_security_options = noanonymous smtp_tls_CAfile = /etc/ssl/certs/ca-certificates.crt smtp_tls_session_cache_database = btree:${data_directory}/smtp_scache smtp_use_tls = yes smtpd_banner = $myhostname ESMTP $mail_name (Ubuntu) smtpd_tls_cert_file = /etc/ssl/certs/ssl-cert-snakeoil.pem smtpd_tls_key_file = /etc/ssl/private/ssl-cert-snakeoil.key smtpd_tls_session_cache_database = btree:${data_directory}/smtpd_scache smtpd_use_tls = yes As the machine is called plaything.company.com I went through the exercise of registering all the appropriate DNS entries to make office365 recognize that I owned plaything.company.com and allowed me to create a user called [email protected] in office365. In office365, I setup [email protected] as having another email address of [email protected]. Then, I made the following sender_canonical [email protected] [email protected] I created a sasl_passwd file that reads: smtp.office365.com [email protected]:123456password123456 let's just say that the password for [email protected] is 1234...456 With all this setup, login as alpha and mail [email protected] Cc: Subject: test test and the whole thing works wonderfully. email gets sent off by postfix, TLS works like a champ, authenticates as daemon@... and [email protected] in Office365 gets an email message. The issue comes up when logged in as bravo to the machine. sender is [email protected] and office365 says: status=bounced (host smtp.office365.com[132.245.12.25] said: 550 5.7.1 Client does not have permissions to send as this sender (in reply to end of DATA command)) this is because I'm trying to send mail as bravo@... and authenticating with office365 as daemon@.... The reason it works with alpha@... is because in office365, I setup [email protected] as having another email address of [email protected]. In Postfix Relay to Office365, Miles Erickson answers the question thusly: Don't send mail to Office365 as a user from your Office365-hosted e-mail domain. Use a subdomain instead, e.g. [email protected] instead of [email protected]. It wouldn't hurt to set up an SPF record for services.mydomain.com or whatever you decide to use. Don't authenticate against mail.messaging.microsoft.com as an Office365 user. Just connect on port 25 and deliver the mail to your domain as any foreign SMTP agent would do. OK, I've done #1, I have those records on DNS but for the most part they are not relevant once Office365 recognizes that I own the domain. Here are those records: CNAME records: - msoid.plaything.company.com - autodiscover.plaything.company.com MX record: - plaything.company.com (plaything-company-com.mail.protection.outlook.com) TXT record: - plaything.company.com (v=spf1 include:spf.protection.outlook.com -all) I've tried #2 but no matter what I do, office365 just blows away the connection with "not authenticated". I can try even a simple telnet to port 25 and attempt to send and it doesn't work. 250 BY2PR01CA007.outlook.office365.com Hello [54.221.245.236] 530 5.7.1 Client was not authenticated Connection closed by foreign host. Is there someone out there who has this kind of a configuration working where multiple users on a linux machine are able to relay mail using postfix through office365? There has to be someone out there doing this who can tell me what is wrong with my setup ...

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  • Resolve Wrong IP from Domain Name only on certain networks

    - by Godric Seer
    I host a personal website on an old desktop that is LAMP based. There are several strange things about this problem so I will break it down into steps. Since I have a dynamic IP, I use no-ip to make sure I have a working domain name at all times. I use the automatic update client, but logged in and checked and my no-ip domain has the proper IP tied to it. Here is a link to the homepage through the no-ip domain for reference. Also, I do a ping and a traceroute on the no-ip domain and get: [eckertzs@localhost ~]$ ping -c 1 endradil.noip.me PING endradil.noip.me (65.24.215.99) 56(84) bytes of data. 64 bytes from endradil.noip.me (65.24.215.99): icmp_seq=1 ttl=64 time=2.23 ms --- endradil.noip.me ping statistics --- 1 packets transmitted, 1 received, 0% packet loss, time 104ms rtt min/avg/max/mdev = 2.233/2.233/2.233/0.000 ms [eckertzs@localhost ~]$ traceroute endradil.noip.me traceroute to endradil.noip.me (65.24.215.99), 30 hops max, 60 byte packets 1 . (192.168.2.1) 1.755 ms 5.409 ms 5.380 ms 2 endradil.noip.me (65.24.215.99) 6.297 ms 9.543 ms 10.324 ms Using this domain, I can connect to my webserver without issue or interruption(the https is required to avoid a redirect serverside, but it works). I also have a domain I have bought on GoDaddy where I have a CNAME record forwarding the www subdomain to my no-ip domain. CNAME Record Host: www Points to: endradil.noip.me TTL: 1 hour For the past several weeks, I never had an issue using the GoDaddy domain to connect (ssh or https). As of the past few days, however, the GoDaddy domain has only worked intermittently, for a few minutes at a time and then will go down for hours at a time. I get server not found errors most of the time. Also, if I happen to be using the GoDaddy domain for an ssh connection, the connection will freeze. I have run online tests of the DNS and have seen that the website is visible by external servers and resolved to the correct IP. I also contacted GoDaddy support but they had no issues connecting to the website, and therefore did not see any issues. My personal computers (Windows desktop, linux laptop, android phone) all fail to connect when on my personal wifi. If I disconnect my phone from the wifi and use my AT&T wireless data, it can connect with both domains without issue. When I attempt to use Google webmaster tools to crawl the site using the GoDaddy domain, Google can not find the site. From my linux laptop, I have found some interesting results when I ping or traceroute the domain. The results from these: [eckertzs@localhost ~]$ ping -c 1 www.endradil.com PING www.endradil.com.Belkin (198.105.244.228) 56(84) bytes of data. --- www.endradil.com.Belkin ping statistics --- 1 packets transmitted, 0 received, 100% packet loss, time 10000ms [eckertzs@localhost ~]$ traceroute www.endradil.com traceroute to www.endradil.com (198.105.244.228), 30 hops max, 60 byte packets 1 . (192.168.2.1) 1.918 ms 2.806 ms 2.772 ms 2 cpe-65-24-208-1.insight.res.rr.com (65.24.208.1) 29.247 ms 29.654 ms 30.094 ms 3 cpe-69-23-24-117.new.res.rr.com (69.23.24.117) 15.597 ms 23.218 ms 23.581 ms 4 agg24.clmcohib01r.midwest.rr.com (65.29.1.52) 30.581 ms 30.556 ms 31.192 ms 5 be27.clevohek01r.midwest.rr.com (65.29.1.38) 30.580 ms 31.062 ms 31.038 ms 6 bu-ether25.atlngamq47w-bcr01.tbone.rr.com (107.14.19.38) 37.863 ms 68.844 ms 43.773 ms 7 107.14.17.178 (107.14.17.178) 51.866 ms 51.019 ms 50.989 ms 8 ae0.pr1.dca10.tbone.rr.com (107.14.17.200) 48.467 ms ae-4-0.a0.lax91.tbone.rr.com (66.109.1.113) 49.912 ms * 9 v413.core1.ash1.he.net (209.51.175.33) 60.270 ms 50.842 ms 50.819 ms 10 100ge5-1.core1.nyc4.he.net (184.105.223.166) 55.597 ms 56.045 ms 56.020 ms 11 xerocole-inc.10gigabitethernet12-4.core1.nyc4.he.net (216.66.41.242) 56.001 ms 55.969 ms 55.992 ms 12 * * * both show the incorrect IP. Also, the traceroute timesout on hops 12 through 255 (output truncated above). The traceroute using site24x7 works and shows reasonable results when run from their california server. From another linux box on a different network but in the same city as me (10 miles away), I still get timeout for traceroute, however the IP resolves correctly for the domain. From this I believe that the DNS result is incorrectly cached in either my router/modem or perhaps even at my ISP level. My question is, first, how do I find out exactly what is wrong, and second, how do I resolve it.

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  • Android JSON HttpClient to send data to PHP server with HttpResponse

    - by Scoobler
    I am currently trying to send some data from and Android application to a php server (both are controlled by me). There is alot of data collected on a form in the app, this is written to the database. This all works. In my main code, firstly I create a JSONObject (I have cut it down here for this example): JSONObject j = new JSONObject(); j.put("engineer", "me"); j.put("date", "today"); j.put("fuel", "full"); j.put("car", "mine"); j.put("distance", "miles"); Next I pass the object over for sending, and receive the response: String url = "http://www.server.com/thisfile.php"; HttpResponse re = HTTPPoster.doPost(url, j); String temp = EntityUtils.toString(re.getEntity()); if (temp.compareTo("SUCCESS")==0) { Toast.makeText(this, "Sending complete!", Toast.LENGTH_LONG).show(); } The HTTPPoster class: public static HttpResponse doPost(String url, JSONObject c) throws ClientProtocolException, IOException { HttpClient httpclient = new DefaultHttpClient(); HttpPost request = new HttpPost(url); HttpEntity entity; StringEntity s = new StringEntity(c.toString()); s.setContentEncoding(new BasicHeader(HTTP.CONTENT_TYPE, "application/json")); entity = s; request.setEntity(entity); HttpResponse response; response = httpclient.execute(request); return response; } This gets a response, but the server is returning a 403 - Forbidden response. I have tried changing the doPost function a little (this is actually a little better, as I said I have alot to send, basically 3 of the same form with different data - so I create 3 JSONObjects, one for each form entry - the entries come from the DB instead of the static example I am using). Firstly I changed the call over a bit: String url = "http://www.orsas.com/ServiceMatalan.php"; Map<String, String> kvPairs = new HashMap<String, String>(); kvPairs.put("vehicle", j.toString()); // Normally I would pass two more JSONObjects..... HttpResponse re = HTTPPoster.doPost(url, kvPairs); String temp = EntityUtils.toString(re.getEntity()); if (temp.compareTo("SUCCESS")==0) { Toast.makeText(this, "Sending complete!", Toast.LENGTH_LONG).show(); } Ok so the changes to the doPost function: public static HttpResponse doPost(String url, Map<String, String> kvPairs) throws ClientProtocolException, IOException { HttpClient httpclient = new DefaultHttpClient(); HttpPost httppost = new HttpPost(url); if (kvPairs != null && kvPairs.isEmpty() == false) { List<NameValuePair> nameValuePairs = new ArrayList<NameValuePair>(kvPairs.size()); String k, v; Iterator<String> itKeys = kvPairs.keySet().iterator(); while (itKeys.hasNext()) { k = itKeys.next(); v = kvPairs.get(k); nameValuePairs.add(new BasicNameValuePair(k, v)); } httppost.setEntity(new UrlEncodedFormEntity(nameValuePairs)); } HttpResponse response; response = httpclient.execute(httppost); return response; } Ok So this returns a response 200 int statusCode = re.getStatusLine().getStatusCode(); However the data received on the server cannot be parsed to a JSON string. It is badly formatted I think (this is the first time I have used JSON): If in the php file I do an echo on $_POST['vehicle'] I get the following: {\"date\":\"today\",\"engineer\":\"me\"} Can anyone tell me where I am going wrong, or if there is a better way to achieve what I am trying to do? Hopefully the above makes sense!

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  • Application shows low memory warning and crashes while loading images?

    - by Bhoomi
    I am using following code for loading images from server using following code.When i scroll UITableView application crashes. AsynchrohousImageView class .m file - (void)dealloc { [connection cancel]; //in case the URL is still downloading [connection release]; [data release]; [_imageView release]; [_activityIndicator release]; [super dealloc]; } - (void)loadImageFromURL:(NSURL*)url defaultImageName:(NSString *)defaultImageName showDefaultImage:(BOOL)defaultImageIsShown showActivityIndicator:(BOOL)activityIndicatorIsShown activityIndicatorRect:(CGRect)activityIndicatorRect activityIndicatorStyle:(UIActivityIndicatorViewStyle)activityIndicatorStyle { if (connection!=nil) { [connection release]; } if (data!=nil) { [data release]; } if ([[self subviews] count]>0) { [[[self subviews] objectAtIndex:0] removeFromSuperview]; // } if (defaultImageIsShown) { self.imageView = [[[UIImageView alloc] initWithImage:[UIImage imageNamed:defaultImageName]] autorelease]; } else { self.imageView = [[[UIImageView alloc] init] autorelease]; } [self addSubview:_imageView]; _imageView.frame = self.bounds; [_imageView setNeedsLayout]; [self setNeedsLayout]; if (activityIndicatorIsShown) { self.activityIndicator = [[[UIActivityIndicatorView alloc] initWithActivityIndicatorStyle:activityIndicatorStyle] autorelease]; [self addSubview:_activityIndicator]; _activityIndicator.frame = activityIndicatorRect; _activityIndicator.center = CGPointMake(_imageView.frame.size.width/2, _imageView.frame.size.height/2); [_activityIndicator setHidesWhenStopped:YES]; [_activityIndicator startAnimating]; } NSURLRequest* request = [NSURLRequest requestWithURL:url cachePolicy:NSURLRequestUseProtocolCachePolicy timeoutInterval:60.0]; connection = [[NSURLConnection alloc] initWithRequest:request delegate:self]; } - (void)connection:(NSURLConnection *)theConnection didReceiveData:(NSData *)incrementalData { if (data==nil) { data = [[NSMutableData alloc] initWithCapacity:2048]; } [data appendData:incrementalData]; } - (void)connectionDidFinishLoading:(NSURLConnection*)theConnection { [connection release]; connection=nil; _imageView.image = [UIImage imageWithData:data]; if (_activityIndicator) { [_activityIndicator stopAnimating]; } [data release]; data=nil; } - (UIImage*) image { UIImageView* iv = [[self subviews] objectAtIndex:0]; return [iv image]; } In ViewController Class Which loads image - (UITableViewCell *)tableView:(UITableView *)tV cellForRowAtIndexPath:(NSIndexPath *)indexPath { static NSString *reuseIdentifier =@"CellIdentifier"; ListCell *cell = (ListCell *)[tableView dequeueReusableCellWithIdentifier:reuseIdentifier]; if (cell==nil) { cell = [[ListCell alloc]initWithStyle:UITableViewCellStyleDefault reuseIdentifier:reuseIdentifier]; NSMutableDictionary *dicResult = [arrResults objectAtIndex:indexPath.row]; NSURL *url=[NSURL URLWithString:[dicResult objectForKey:@"Image"]]; AsynchronousImageView *asyncImageView = [[AsynchronousImageView alloc] initWithFrame:CGRectMake(5, 10,80,80)]; [asyncImageView loadImageFromURL:url defaultImageName:@"DefaultImage.png" showDefaultImage:NO showActivityIndicator:YES activityIndicatorRect:CGRectMake(5, 10,30,30) activityIndicatorStyle:UIActivityIndicatorViewStyleGray]; // load our image with URL asynchronously [cell.contentView addSubview:asyncImageView]; // cell.imgLocationView.image = [UIImage imageNamed:[dicResult valueForKey:@"Image"]]; [asyncImageView release]; } if([arrResults count]==1) { UITableViewCell *cell1=[tableView dequeueReusableCellWithIdentifier:reuseIdentifier]; if(cell1==nil) cell1=[[[UITableViewCell alloc]initWithStyle:UITableViewCellStyleDefault reuseIdentifier:reuseIdentifier] autorelease]; NSMutableDictionary *dicResult = [arrResults objectAtIndex:0]; cell1.textLabel.text=[dicResult valueForKey:@"NoResults"]; return cell1; } else { NSMutableDictionary *dicResult = [arrResults objectAtIndex:indexPath.row]; NSString *title = [NSString stringWithFormat:@"%@ Bedrooms-%@", [dicResult valueForKey:KEY_NUMBER_OF_BEDROOMS],[dicResult valueForKey:KEY_PROPERTY_TYPE]]; NSString *strAddress = [dicResult valueForKey:KEY_DISPLAY_NAME]; NSString *address = [strAddress stringByReplacingOccurrencesOfString:@", " withString:@"\n"]; NSString *price = [dicResult valueForKey:KEY_PRICE]; NSString *distance = [dicResult valueForKey:KEY_DISTANCE]; cell.accessoryType = UITableViewCellAccessoryDisclosureIndicator; cell.lblTitle.text = title; cell.lblAddress.text = address; if ([price length]>0) { cell.lblPrice.text = [NSString stringWithFormat:@"£%@",price]; }else{ cell.lblPrice.text = @""; } if ([distance length]>0) { cell.lblmiles.text = [NSString stringWithFormat:@"%.2f miles",[distance floatValue]]; }else{ cell.lblmiles.text = @""; } } return cell; } How can i resolve this? I have attached heapshot analysis screen shot of it.Here non Object consumes so much of memory what is that?

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  • Collaborate 2010 Recap: A lot of Excitement for Oracle Content Management 11g

    - by [email protected]
    Normal 0 false false false EN-US X-NONE X-NONE MicrosoftInternetExplorer4 /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0in; mso-para-margin-right:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0in; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} Collaborate brought me to Las Vegas last week and what a week it was.  Each day was jam packed with Oracle Content Management sessions, and almost every session I attended was full.  Across the 35+ sessions that were given by my Oracle peers, Oracle partners, and Oracle customers, the majority of the discussion and questions that were asked had to do with the release of Oracle Content Management 11g.  Just to bring everyone up-to-speed, the first wave of Oracle Content Management 11g releases happened this past January as Oracle Imaging & Process Management and Oracle Information Rights Management went GA.  The next wave, which should be released soon, includes Oracle Universal Content Management and Oracle Universal Records Management. Normal 0 false false false EN-US X-NONE X-NONE MicrosoftInternetExplorer4 /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0in; mso-para-margin-right:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0in; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} Andy MacMillan and Roel Stalman kicked off these discussions last Monday, as they presented Oracle Content Management's product strategy and roadmap.  It seemed that the attendees liked what they heard regarding the strategy and future direction, but the question that seems to always come up after roadmap presentations is "when will the product be released"?  This is a question that none of us have the power to answer, but soon customers will be able to enjoy these new product capabilities: Normal 0 false false false EN-US X-NONE X-NONE MicrosoftInternetExplorer4 /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0in; mso-para-margin-right:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0in; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} Unified content repository across ECMCentralized installation, access, administration & monitoringCertified application integrations with solution templatesOpen Web Content Management Normal 0 false false false EN-US X-NONE X-NONE MicrosoftInternetExplorer4 /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0in; mso-para-margin-right:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0in; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} Stay tuned for more news about the release of Oracle Universal Content Management and Oracle Records Management.  There are a lot of new assets currently being built that will help get everyone up-to-speed quickly. Normal 0 false false false EN-US X-NONE X-NONE MicrosoftInternetExplorer4 /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0in; mso-para-margin-right:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0in; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} Outside of the sessions that were presented, there were a lot of other activities that took place at Collaborate.  The Enterprise 2.0 solutions demo pod was busy, and attendees were anxious to see demonstrations of Oracle's end-to-end document imaging solution, WebCenter Spaces, and web site creation using Oracle Universal Content Management.   I also want to thank our partners (Fishbowl Solutions, Redstone Content Solutions, Bezzotech, Team Informatics, and DTI) for their efforts in creating detailed, insightful presentations.  Also, special thanks are in order to Thomas Feldmeier and Markus Neubauer of Silbury IT-Beratung GmbH for their participation.  It seems that Thomas and Markus were doomed to be stranded in Frankfurt after the Icelandic ash storm.  They couldn't get a flight out of their native Germany, and with fear that they would miss Collaborate, they rented a car and drove to Rome - some 800 miles (1,200 kilometers).  Anyway, they made it safe and sound to Las Vegas, and although probably a bit tired, they gave 2 Oracle Content Management presentations.  Talk about commitment. Normal 0 false false false EN-US X-NONE X-NONE MicrosoftInternetExplorer4 /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0in; mso-para-margin-right:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0in; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} Finally, a very special thanks to Al Hoof and Dave Chaffee of the Oracle Content Management Special Interest Group (SIG).  Al and Dave did most of the heavy lifting for Collaborate, including the coordination of all the sessions.  The Independent Oracle Users Group presented Al with the Chris Wooldridge award, recognizing him as the volunteer of the year.  Here is Al with his award: Normal 0 false false false EN-US X-NONE X-NONE MicrosoftInternetExplorer4 /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0in; mso-para-margin-right:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0in; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} I hope to see you next year at Collaborate as the show returns to Orlando.

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  • Boost your infrastructure with Coherence into the Cloud

    - by Nino Guarnacci
    Authors: Nino Guarnacci & Francesco Scarano,  at this URL could be found the original article:  http://blogs.oracle.com/slc/coherence_into_the_cloud_boost. Thinking about the enterprise cloud, come to mind many possible configurations and new opportunities in enterprise environments. Various customers needs that serve as guides to this new trend are often very different, but almost always united by two main objectives: Elasticity of infrastructure both Hardware and Software Investments related to the progressive needs of the current infrastructure Characteristics of innovation and economy. A concrete use case that I worked on recently demanded the fulfillment of two basic requirements of economy and innovation.The client had the need to manage a variety of data cache, which can process complex queries and parallel computational operations, maintaining the caches in a consistent state on different server instances, on which the application was installed.In addition, the customer was looking for a solution that would allow him to manage the likely situations in load peak during certain times of the year.For this reason, the customer requires a replication site, on which convey part of the requests during periods of peak; the desire was, however, to prevent the immobilization of investments in owned hardware-software architectures; so, to respond to this need, it was requested to seek a solution based on Cloud technologies and architectures already offered by the market. Coherence can already now address the requirements of large cache between different nodes in the cluster, providing further technology to search and parallel computing, with the simultaneous use of all hardware infrastructure resources. Moreover, thanks to the functionality of "Push Replication", which can replicate and update the information contained in the cache, even to a site hosted in the cloud, it is satisfied the need to make resilient infrastructure that can be based also on nodes temporarily housed in the Cloud architectures. There are different types of configurations that can be realized using the functionality "Push-Replication" of Coherence. Configurations can be either: Active - Passive  Hub and Spoke Active - Active Multi Master Centralized Replication Whereas the architecture of this particular project consists of two sites (Site 1 and Site Cloud), between which only Site 1 is enabled to write into the cache, it was decided to adopt an Active-Passive Configuration type (Hub and Spoke). If, however, the requirement should change over time, it will be particularly easy to change this configuration in an Active-Active configuration type. Although very simple, the small sample in this post, inspired by the specific project is effective, to better understand the features and capabilities of Coherence and its configurations. Let's create two distinct coherence cluster, located at miles apart, on two different domain contexts, one of them "hosted" at home (on-premise) and the other one hosted by any cloud provider on the network (or just the same laptop to test it :)). These two clusters, which we call Site 1 and Site Cloud, will contain the necessary information, so a simple client can insert data only into the Site 1. On both sites will be subscribed a listener, who listens to the variations of specific objects within the various caches. To implement these features, you need 4 simple classes: CachedResponse.java Represents the POJO class that will be inserted into the cache, and fulfills the task of containing useful information about the hypothetical links navigation ResponseSimulatorHelper.java Represents a link simulator, which has the task of randomly creating objects of type CachedResponse that will be added into the caches CacheCommands.java Represents the model of our example, because it is responsible for receiving instructions from the controller and performing basic operations against the cache, such as insert, delete, update, listening, objects within the cache Shell.java It is our controller, which give commands to be executed within the cache of the two Sites So, summarily, we execute the java class "Shell", asking it to put into the cache 100 objects of type "CachedResponse" through the java class "CacheCommands", then the simulator "ResponseSimulatorHelper" will randomly create new instances of objects "CachedResponse ". Finally, the Shell class will listen to for events occurring within the cache on the Site Cloud, while insertions and deletions are performed on Site 1. Now, we realize the two configurations of two respective sites / cluster: Site 1 and Site Cloud.For the Site 1 we define a cache of type "distributed" with features of "read and write", using the cache class store for the "push replication", a functionality offered by the project "incubator" of Oracle Coherence.For the "Site Cloud" we expect even the definition of “distributed” cache type with tcp proxy feature enabled, so it can receive updates from Site 1.  Coherence Cache Config XML file for "storage node" on "Site 1" site1-prod-cache-config.xml Coherence Cache Config XML file for "storage node" on "Site Cloud" site2-prod-cache-config.xml For two clients "Shell" which will connect respectively to the two clusters we have provided two easy access configurations.  Coherence Cache Config XML file for Shell on "Site 1" site1-shell-prod-cache-config.xml Coherence Cache Config XML file for Shell on "Site Cloud" site2-shell-prod-cache-config.xml Now, we just have to get everything and run our tests. To start at least one "storage" node (which holds the data) for the "Cloud Site", we can run the standard class  provided OOTB by Oracle Coherence com.tangosol.net.DefaultCacheServer with the following parameters and values:-Xmx128m-Xms64m-Dcom.sun.management.jmxremote -Dtangosol.coherence.management=all -Dtangosol.coherence.management.remote=true -Dtangosol.coherence.distributed.localstorage=true -Dtangosol.coherence.cacheconfig=config/site2-prod-cache-config.xml-Dtangosol.coherence.clusterport=9002-Dtangosol.coherence.site=SiteCloud To start at least one "storage" node (which holds the data) for the "Site 1", we can perform again the standard class provided by Coherence  com.tangosol.net.DefaultCacheServer with the following parameters and values:-Xmx128m-Xms64m-Dcom.sun.management.jmxremote -Dtangosol.coherence.management=all -Dtangosol.coherence.management.remote=true -Dtangosol.coherence.distributed.localstorage=true -Dtangosol.coherence.cacheconfig=config/site1-prod-cache-config.xml-Dtangosol.coherence.clusterport=9001-Dtangosol.coherence.site=Site1 Then, we start the first client "Shell" for the "Cloud Site", launching the java class it.javac.Shell  using these parameters and values: -Xmx64m-Xms64m-Dcom.sun.management.jmxremote -Dtangosol.coherence.management=all -Dtangosol.coherence.management.remote=true -Dtangosol.coherence.distributed.localstorage=false -Dtangosol.coherence.cacheconfig=config/site2-shell-prod-cache-config.xml-Dtangosol.coherence.clusterport=9002-Dtangosol.coherence.site=SiteCloud Finally, we start the second client "Shell" for the "Site 1", re-launching a new instance of class  it.javac.Shell  using  the following parameters and values: -Xmx64m-Xms64m-Dcom.sun.management.jmxremote -Dtangosol.coherence.management=all -Dtangosol.coherence.management.remote=true -Dtangosol.coherence.distributed.localstorage=false -Dtangosol.coherence.cacheconfig=config/site1-shell-prod-cache-config.xml-Dtangosol.coherence.clusterport=9001-Dtangosol.coherence.site=Site1  And now, let’s execute some tests to validate and better understand our configuration. TEST 1The purpose of this test is to load the objects into the "Site 1" cache and seeing how many objects are cached on the "Site Cloud". Within the "Shell" launched with parameters to access the "Site 1", let’s write and run the command: load test/100 Within the "Shell" launched with parameters to access the "Site Cloud" let’s write and run the command: size passive-cache Expected result If all is OK, the first "Shell" has uploaded 100 objects into a cache named "test"; consequently the "push-replication" functionality has updated the "Site Cloud" by sending the 100 objects to the second cluster where they will have been posted into a respective cache, which we named "passive-cache". TEST 2The purpose of this test is to listen to deleting and adding events happening on the "Site 1" and that are replicated within the cache on "Cloud Site". In the "Shell" launched with parameters to access the "Site Cloud" let’s write and run the command: listen passive-cache/name like '%' or a "cohql" query, with your preferred parameters In the "Shell" launched with parameters to access the "Site 1" let’s write and run the following commands: load test/10 load test2/20 delete test/50 Expected result If all is OK, the "Shell" to Site Cloud let us to listen to all the add and delete events within the cache "cache-passive", whose objects satisfy the query condition "name like '%' " (ie, every objects in the cache; you could change the tests and create different queries).Through the Shell to "Site 1" we launched the commands to add and to delete objects on different caches (test and test2). With the "Shell" running on "Site Cloud" we got the evidence (displayed or printed, or in a log file) that its cache has been filled with events and related objects generated by commands executed from the" Shell "on" Site 1 ", thanks to "push-replication" feature.  Other tests can be performed, such as, for example, the subscription to the events on the "Site 1" too, using different "cohql" queries, changing the cache configuration,  to effectively demonstrate both the potentiality and  the versatility produced by these different configurations, even in the cloud, as in our case. More information on how to configure Coherence "Push Replication" can be found in the Oracle Coherence Incubator project documentation at the following link: http://coherence.oracle.com/display/INC10/Home More information on Oracle Coherence "In Memory Data Grid" can be found at the following link: http://www.oracle.com/technetwork/middleware/coherence/overview/index.html To download and execute the whole sources and configurations of the example explained in the above post,  click here to download them; After download the last available version of the Push-Replication Pattern library implementation from the Oracle Coherence Incubator site, and download also the related and required version of Oracle Coherence. For simplicity the required .jarS to execute the example (that can be found into the Push-Replication-Pattern  download and Coherence Distribution download) are: activemq-core-5.3.1.jar activemq-protobuf-1.0.jar aopalliance-1.0.jar coherence-commandpattern-2.8.4.32329.jar coherence-common-2.2.0.32329.jar coherence-eventdistributionpattern-1.2.0.32329.jar coherence-functorpattern-1.5.4.32329.jar coherence-messagingpattern-2.8.4.32329.jar coherence-processingpattern-1.4.4.32329.jar coherence-pushreplicationpattern-4.0.4.32329.jar coherence-rest.jar coherence.jar commons-logging-1.1.jar commons-logging-api-1.1.jar commons-net-2.0.jar geronimo-j2ee-management_1.0_spec-1.0.jar geronimo-jms_1.1_spec-1.1.1.jar http.jar jackson-all-1.8.1.jar je.jar jersey-core-1.8.jar jersey-json-1.8.jar jersey-server-1.8.jar jl1.0.jar kahadb-5.3.1.jar miglayout-3.6.3.jar org.osgi.core-4.1.0.jar spring-beans-2.5.6.jar spring-context-2.5.6.jar spring-core-2.5.6.jar spring-osgi-core-1.2.1.jar spring-osgi-io-1.2.1.jar At this URL could be found the original article: http://blogs.oracle.com/slc/coherence_into_the_cloud_boost Authors: Nino Guarnacci & Francesco Scarano

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  • Meet the New Windows Azure

    - by ScottGu
    Today we are releasing a major set of improvements to Windows Azure.  Below is a short-summary of just a few of them: New Admin Portal and Command Line Tools Today’s release comes with a new Windows Azure portal that will enable you to manage all features and services offered on Windows Azure in a seamless, integrated way.  It is very fast and fluid, supports filtering and sorting (making it much easier to use for large deployments), works on all browsers, and offers a lot of great new features – including built-in VM, Web site, Storage, and Cloud Service monitoring support. The new portal is built on top of a REST-based management API within Windows Azure – and everything you can do through the portal can also be programmed directly against this Web API. We are also today releasing command-line tools (which like the portal call the REST Management APIs) to make it even easier to script and automate your administration tasks.  We are offering both a Powershell (for Windows) and Bash (for Mac and Linux) set of tools to download.  Like our SDKs, the code for these tools is hosted on GitHub under an Apache 2 license. Virtual Machines Windows Azure now supports the ability to deploy and run durable VMs in the cloud.  You can easily create these VMs using a new Image Gallery built-into the new Windows Azure Portal, or alternatively upload and run your own custom-built VHD images. Virtual Machines are durable (meaning anything you install within them persists across reboots) and you can use any OS with them.  Our built-in image gallery includes both Windows Server images (including the new Windows Server 2012 RC) as well as Linux images (including Ubuntu, CentOS, and SUSE distributions).  Once you create a VM instance you can easily Terminal Server or SSH into it in order to configure and customize the VM however you want (and optionally capture your own image snapshot of it to use when creating new VM instances).  This provides you with the flexibility to run pretty much any workload within Windows Azure.   The new Windows Azure Portal provides a rich set of management features for Virtual Machines – including the ability to monitor and track resource utilization within them.  Our new Virtual Machine support also enables the ability to easily attach multiple data-disks to VMs (which you can then mount and format as drives).  You can optionally enable geo-replication support on these – which will cause Windows Azure to continuously replicate your storage to a secondary data-center at least 400 miles away from your primary data-center as a backup. We use the same VHD format that is supported with Windows virtualization today (and which we’ve released as an open spec), which enables you to easily migrate existing workloads you might already have virtualized into Windows Azure.  We also make it easy to download VHDs from Windows Azure, which also provides the flexibility to easily migrate cloud-based VM workloads to an on-premise environment.  All you need to do is download the VHD file and boot it up locally, no import/export steps required. Web Sites Windows Azure now supports the ability to quickly and easily deploy ASP.NET, Node.js and PHP web-sites to a highly scalable cloud environment that allows you to start small (and for free) and then scale up as your traffic grows.  You can create a new web site in Azure and have it ready to deploy to in under 10 seconds: The new Windows Azure Portal provides built-in administration support for Web sites – including the ability to monitor and track resource utilization in real-time: You can deploy to web-sites in seconds using FTP, Git, TFS and Web Deploy.  We are also releasing tooling updates today for both Visual Studio and Web Matrix that enable developers to seamlessly deploy ASP.NET applications to this new offering.  The VS and Web Matrix publishing support includes the ability to deploy SQL databases as part of web site deployment – as well as the ability to incrementally update database schema with a later deployment. You can integrate web application publishing with source control by selecting the “Set up TFS publishing” or “Set up Git publishing” links on a web-site’s dashboard: Doing do will enable integration with our new TFS online service (which enables a full TFS workflow – including elastic build and testing support), or create a Git repository that you can reference as a remote and push deployments to.  Once you push a deployment using TFS or Git, the deployments tab will keep track of the deployments you make, and enable you to select an older (or newer) deployment and quickly redeploy your site to that snapshot of the code.  This provides a very powerful DevOps workflow experience.   Windows Azure now allows you to deploy up to 10 web-sites into a free, shared/multi-tenant hosting environment (where a site you deploy will be one of multiple sites running on a shared set of server resources).  This provides an easy way to get started on projects at no cost. You can then optionally upgrade your sites to run in a “reserved mode” that isolates them so that you are the only customer within a virtual machine: And you can elastically scale the amount of resources your sites use – allowing you to increase your reserved instance capacity as your traffic scales: Windows Azure automatically handles load balancing traffic across VM instances, and you get the same, super fast, deployment options (FTP, Git, TFS and Web Deploy) regardless of how many reserved instances you use. With Windows Azure you pay for compute capacity on a per-hour basis – which allows you to scale up and down your resources to match only what you need. Cloud Services and Distributed Caching Windows Azure also supports the ability to build cloud services that support rich multi-tier architectures, automated application management, and scale to extremely large deployments.  Previously we referred to this capability as “hosted services” – with this week’s release we are now referring to this capability as “cloud services”.  We are also enabling a bunch of new features with them. Distributed Cache One of the really cool new features being enabled with cloud services is a new distributed cache capability that enables you to use and setup a low-latency, in-memory distributed cache within your applications.  This cache is isolated for use just by your applications, and does not have any throttling limits. This cache can dynamically grow and shrink elastically (without you have to redeploy your app or make code changes), and supports the full richness of the AppFabric Cache Server API (including regions, high availability, notifications, local cache and more).  In addition to supporting the AppFabric Cache Server API, it also now supports the Memcached protocol – allowing you to point code written against Memcached at it (no code changes required). The new distributed cache can be setup to run in one of two ways: 1) Using a co-located approach.  In this option you allocate a percentage of memory in your existing web and worker roles to be used by the cache, and then the cache joins the memory into one large distributed cache.  Any data put into the cache by one role instance can be accessed by other role instances in your application – regardless of whether the cached data is stored on it or another role.  The big benefit with the “co-located” option is that it is free (you don’t have to pay anything to enable it) and it allows you to use what might have been otherwise unused memory within your application VMs. 2) Alternatively, you can add “cache worker roles” to your cloud service that are used solely for caching.  These will also be joined into one large distributed cache ring that other roles within your application can access.  You can use these roles to cache 10s or 100s of GBs of data in-memory very effectively – and the cache can be elastically increased or decreased at runtime within your application: New SDKs and Tooling Support We have updated all of the Windows Azure SDKs with today’s release to include new features and capabilities.  Our SDKs are now available for multiple languages, and all of the source in them is published under an Apache 2 license and and maintained in GitHub repositories. The .NET SDK for Azure has in particular seen a bunch of great improvements with today’s release, and now includes tooling support for both VS 2010 and the VS 2012 RC. We are also now shipping Windows, Mac and Linux SDK downloads for languages that are offered on all of these systems – allowing developers to develop Windows Azure applications using any development operating system. Much, Much More The above is just a short list of some of the improvements that are shipping in either preview or final form today – there is a LOT more in today’s release.  These include new Virtual Private Networking capabilities, new Service Bus runtime and tooling support, the public preview of the new Azure Media Services, new Data Centers, significantly upgraded network and storage hardware, SQL Reporting Services, new Identity features, support within 40+ new countries and territories, and much, much more. You can learn more about Windows Azure and sign-up to try it for free at http://windowsazure.com.  You can also watch a live keynote I’m giving at 1pm June 7th (later today) where I’ll walk through all of the new features.  We will be opening up the new features I discussed above for public usage a few hours after the keynote concludes.  We are really excited to see the great applications you build with them. Hope this helps, Scott

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  • Understanding the value of Customer Experience & Loyalty for the Telecommunications Industry

    - by raul.goycoolea
    Worried by economic woes and market forces, especially in mature markets, communications service providers (CSPs) increasingly focus on improving customer experience. In fact, it seems difficult to find a major message by a C-level executive in the developed world that does not include something on "meeting and exceeding customers' needs". Frequently in customer satisfaction studies by prominent firms, CSPs fall short of the leadership demonstrated by other industries that take customer-centric approaches to their bottom-line strategies. Consider the following:Despite the continued impact of global economic crisis, in July 2010, Apple Computer posted record revenue and net quarterly profit. Those who attribute the results primarily to the iPhone 4 launch should note that Apple also shipped around 30% more Macintosh computers than the same period the previous year. Even sales of the iPod line increased by 8% in a highly commoditized, shrinking media player market. Finally, Apple began selling iPads during the quarter, with total sales of more than 3 million units. What does Apple have that the others lack? Well, some great products (and services) to be sure, but it also excels at customer service and support, marketing, and distribution, and has one of the strongest brands globally. Its products are useful, simple to use, easy to acquire and augment, high quality, and considered very cool. They also evoke such an emotional response from many of Apple's customers, which they turn up their noses at competitive products.In other words, Apple appears to have mastered virtually every aspect of customer experience and the resultant loyalty of its customer base - even in difficult financial times. Through that unwavering customer focus, Apple continues to drive its revenues and profits to new heights. Other customer loyalty leaders like Wal-Mart, Google, Toyota and Honda are also doing well by focusing on customer experience as an essential driver of profitability. Service providers should note this performance and ask themselves how they might leverage the same principles to increase their own profitability. After all, that is what customer experience and loyalty are all about: profitability.To successfully manage all the critical touch points of customer experience, CSPs must shun the one-size-fits-all approach. They can no longer afford to view customer service fundamentally as an act of altruism - which mentality dates back to the industry's civil service days, when CSPs were typically government organizations that were critical to economic development and public safety.As regulators and public officials have pushed, and continue to push, service providers to new heights of reliability - using incentives and punishments - most CSPs already have some of the fundamental building blocks of customer service in place. Yet despite that history and experience, service providers still lag other industries in providing what is seen as good customer service.As we observed in the TMF's 2009 Insights Research report, Customer Experience Management: Driving Loyalty & Profitability there has been resurgence in interest by CSPs. More and more of them have stated ambitions to catch up other industries, and they are realizing that good customer service is a powerful strategy for increasing business performance and profitability, not an act of good will.CSPs are recognizing the connection between customer experience and profitability, as demonstrated in many studies. For example, according to research by Bain & Company, a 5 percent improvement in customer retention rates can yield as much as a 75 percent increase in profits for companies across a range of industries.After decades of customer experience strategy formulation, Bain partner and business author, Frederick Reichheld, considers "would you recommend us to a friend?" as the ultimate question for a customer. How many times have you or your friends recommended an iPod, iPhone or a Mac? What do your children recommend to their peers? Their peers to them?There are certain steps service providers have to take to create more personalized relationships with their customers, as well as reduce churn and increase profitability, all while becoming leaner and more agile. First, they have to define customer experience, we define it as the result of the sum of observations, perceptions, thoughts and feelings arising from interactions and relationships between customers and their service provider(s). Virtually every customer touch point - whether directly or indirectly linked to service providers and their partners - contributes to customer perception, satisfaction, loyalty, and ultimately profitability. Gaining leadership in customer experience and satisfaction will not be a simple task, as it is affected by virtually every customer-facing aspect of the service provider, and in turn impacts the service provider deeply - especially on the all-important bottom line. The scope of issues affecting customer experience is complex and dynamic.With new services, devices and applications extending the basis of customer experience to domains beyond the direct control of the service provider, it is likely to increase in complexity and dynamism.Customer loyalty = increased profitsAs stated earlier, customer experience programs are not fundamentally altruistic exercises, but a strategic means of improving competitiveness and profitability in the short and long term. Loyalty is essential to deriving long term profits from customers.Some of the earliest loyalty programs date back to the 1930s, when packaged goods companies offered embedded coupons for rewards to buyers, and eventually retail chains began offering reward programs to frequent shoppers. These programs continued for decades but were leapfrogged in the 1980s by more aggressive programs from the airlines.This movement was led by American Airlines, which launched the first full-scale loyalty marketing program of the modern era with the AAdvantage frequent flyer scheme. It was the first to reward frequent fliers with notional air miles that could be accumulated and later redeemed for free travel. Figure 1: Opportunities example of Customer loyalty driven profitOther airlines and travel providers were quick to grasp the incredible value of providing customers with an incentive to use their company exclusively. Within a few years, dozens of travel industry companies launched similar initiatives and now loyalty programs are achieving near-ubiquity in many service industries, especially those in which it is difficult to differentiate offerings by product attributes.The belief is that increased profitability will result from customer retention efforts because:•    The cost of acquisition occurs only at the beginning of a relationship: the longer the relationship, the lower the amortized cost;•    Account maintenance costs decline as a percentage of total costs, or as a percentage of revenue, over the lifetime of the relationship;•    Long term customers tend to be less inclined to switch and less price sensitive which can result in stable unit sales volume and increases in dollar-sales volume;•    Long term customers may initiate word-of-mouth promotions and referrals, which cost the company nothing and arguably are the most effective form of advertising;•    Long-term customers are more likely to buy ancillary products and higher margin supplemental products;•    Long term customers tend to be satisfied with their relationship with the company and are less likely to switch to competitors, making market entry or competitors gaining market share difficult;•    Regular customers tend to be less expensive to service, as they are familiar with the processes involved, require less 'education', and are consistent in their order placement;•    Increased customer retention and loyalty makes the employees' jobs easier and more satisfying. In turn, happy employees feed back into higher customer satisfaction in a virtuous circle. Figure 2: The virtuous circle of customer loyaltyFigure 2 represents a high-level example of a virtuous cycle driven by customer satisfaction and loyalty, depicting how superiority in product and service offerings, as well as strong customer support by competent employees, lead to higher sales and ultimately profitability. As stated above, this is not a new concept, but succeeding with it is difficult. It has eluded many a company driven to achieve profitability goals. Of course, for this circle to be virtuous, the customer relationship(s) must be profitable.Trying to maintain the loyalty of unprofitable customers is not a viable business strategy. It is, therefore, important that marketers can assess the profitability of each customer (or customer segment), and either improve or terminate relationships that are not profitable. This means each customer's 'relationship costs' must be understood and compared to their 'relationship revenue'. Customer lifetime value (CLV) is the most commonly used metric here, as it is generally accepted as a representation of exactly how much each customer is worth in monetary terms, and therefore a determinant of exactly how much a service provider should be willing to spend to acquire or retain that customer.CLV models make several simplifying assumptions and often involve the following inputs:•    Churn rate represents the percentage of customers who end their relationship with a company in a given period;•    Retention rate is calculated by subtracting the churn rate percentage from 100;•    Period/horizon equates to the units of time into which a customer relationship can be divided for analysis. A year is the most commonly used period for this purpose. Customer lifetime value is a multi-period calculation, often projecting three to seven years into the future. In practice, analysis beyond this point is viewed as too speculative to be reliable. The model horizon is the number of periods used in the calculation;•    Periodic revenue is the amount of revenue collected from a customer in a given period (though this is often extended across multiple periods into the future to understand lifetime value), such as usage revenue, revenues anticipated from cross and upselling, and often some weighting for referrals by a loyal customer to others; •    Retention cost describes the amount of money the service provider must spend, in a given period, to retain an existing customer. Again, this is often forecast across multiple periods. Retention costs include customer support, billing, promotional incentives and so on;•    Discount rate means the cost of capital used to discount future revenue from a customer. Discounting is an advanced method used in more sophisticated CLV calculations;•    Profit margin is the projected profit as a percentage of revenue for the period. This may be reflected as a percentage of gross or net profit. Again, this is generally projected across the model horizon to understand lifetime value.A strong focus on managing these inputs can help service providers realize stronger customer relationships and profits, but there are some obstacles to overcome in achieving accurate calculations of CLV, such as the complexity of allocating costs across the customer base. There are many costs that serve all customers which must be properly allocated across the base, and often a simple proportional allocation across the whole base or a segment may not accurately reflect the true cost of serving that customer;  This is made worse by the fragmentation of customer information, which is likely to be across a variety of product or operations groups, and may be difficult to aggregate due to different representations.In addition, there is the complexity of account relationships and structures to take into consideration. Complex account structures may not be understood or properly represented. For example, a profitable customer may have a separate account for a second home or another family member, which may appear to be unprofitable. If the service provider cannot relate the two accounts, CLV is not properly represented and any resultant cancellation of the apparently unprofitable account may result in the customer churning from the profitable one.In summary, if service providers are to realize strong customer relationships and their attendant profits, there must be a very strong focus on data management. This needs to be coupled with analytics that help business managers and those who work in customer-facing functions offer highly personalized solutions to customers, while maintaining profitability for the service provider. It's clear that acquiring new customers is expensive. Advertising costs, campaign management expenses, promotional service pricing and discounting, and equipment subsidies make a serious dent in a new customer's profitability. That is especially true given the rising subsidies for Smartphone users, which service providers hope will result in greater profits from profits from data services profitability in future.  The situation is made worse by falling prices and greater competition in mature markets.Customer acquisition through industry consolidation isn't cheap either. A North American service provider spent about $2,000 per subscriber in its acquisition of a smaller company earlier this year. While this has allowed it to leapfrog to become the largest mobile service provider in the country, it required a total investment of more than $28 billion (including assumption of the acquiree's debt).While many operating cost synergies clearly made this deal more attractive to the acquiring company, this is certainly an expensive way to acquire customers: the cost per subscriber in this case is not out of line with the prices others have paid for acquisitions.While growth by acquisition certainly increases overall revenues, it often creates tremendous challenges for profitability. Organic growth through increased customer loyalty and retention is a more effective driver of profit, as well as a stronger predictor of future profitability. Service providers, especially those in mature markets, are increasingly recognizing this and taking steps toward a creating a more personalized, flexible and satisfying experience for their customers.In summary, the clearest path to profitability for companies in virtually all industries is through customer retention and maximization of lifetime value. Service providers would do well to recognize this and focus attention on profitable customer relationships.

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  • migrating Solaris to RH: network latency issue, tcp window size & other tcp parameters

    - by Bastien
    Hello I have a client/server app (Java) that I'm migrating from Solaris to RH Linux. since I started running it in RH, I noticed some issues related to latency. I managed to isolate the problem that looks like this: client sends 5 messages (32 bytes each) in a row (same application timestamp) to the server. server echos messages. client receives replies and prints round trip time for each msg. in Solaris, all is well: I get ALL 5 replies at the same time, roughly 80ms after having sent original messages (client & server are several thousands miles away from each other: my ping RTT is 80ms, all normal). in RH, first 3 messages are echoed normally (they arrive 80ms after they've been sent), however the following 2 arrive 80ms later (so total 160ms RTT). the pattern is always the same. clearly looked like a TCP problem. on my solaris box, I had previously configured the tcp stack with 2 specific options: disable nagle algorithm globally set tcp_deferred_acks_max to 0 on RH, it's not possible to disable nagle globally, but I disabled it on all of my apps' sockets (TCP_NODELAY). so I started playing with tcpdump (on the server machine), and compared both outputs: SOLARIS: 22 2.085645 client server TCP 56150 > 6006 [PSH, ACK] Seq=111 Ack=106 Win=66672 Len=22 "MSG_1 RCV" 23 2.085680 server client TCP 6006 > 56150 [ACK] Seq=106 Ack=133 Win=50400 Len=0 24 2.085908 client server TCP 56150 > 6006 [PSH, ACK] Seq=133 Ack=106 Win=66672 Len=22 "MSG_2 RCV" 25 2.085925 server client TCP 6006 > 56150 [ACK] Seq=106 Ack=155 Win=50400 Len=0 26 2.086175 client server TCP 56150 > 6006 [PSH, ACK] Seq=155 Ack=106 Win=66672 Len=22 "MSG_3 RCV" 27 2.086192 server client TCP 6006 > 56150 [ACK] Seq=106 Ack=177 Win=50400 Len=0 28 2.086243 server client TCP 6006 > 56150 [PSH, ACK] Seq=106 Ack=177 Win=50400 Len=21 "MSG_1 ECHO" 29 2.086440 client server TCP 56150 > 6006 [PSH, ACK] Seq=177 Ack=106 Win=66672 Len=22 "MSG_4 RCV" 30 2.086454 server client TCP 6006 > 56150 [ACK] Seq=127 Ack=199 Win=50400 Len=0 31 2.086659 server client TCP 6006 > 56150 [PSH, ACK] Seq=127 Ack=199 Win=50400 Len=21 "MSG_2 ECHO" 32 2.086708 client server TCP 56150 > 6006 [PSH, ACK] Seq=199 Ack=106 Win=66672 Len=22 "MSG_5 RCV" 33 2.086721 server client TCP 6006 > 56150 [ACK] Seq=148 Ack=221 Win=50400 Len=0 34 2.086947 server client TCP 6006 > 56150 [PSH, ACK] Seq=148 Ack=221 Win=50400 Len=21 "MSG_3 ECHO" 35 2.087196 server client TCP 6006 > 56150 [PSH, ACK] Seq=169 Ack=221 Win=50400 Len=21 "MSG_4 ECHO" 36 2.087500 server client TCP 6006 > 56150 [PSH, ACK] Seq=190 Ack=221 Win=50400 Len=21 "MSG_5 ECHO" 37 2.165390 client server TCP 56150 > 6006 [ACK] Seq=221 Ack=148 Win=66632 Len=0 38 2.166314 client server TCP 56150 > 6006 [ACK] Seq=221 Ack=190 Win=66588 Len=0 39 2.364135 client server TCP 56150 > 6006 [ACK] Seq=221 Ack=211 Win=66568 Len=0 REDHAT: 17 2.081163 client server TCP 55879 > 6006 [PSH, ACK] Seq=111 Ack=106 Win=66672 Len=22 "MSG_1 RCV" 18 2.081178 server client TCP 6006 > 55879 [ACK] Seq=106 Ack=133 Win=5888 Len=0 19 2.081297 server client TCP 6006 > 55879 [PSH, ACK] Seq=106 Ack=133 Win=5888 Len=21 "MSG_1 ECHO" 20 2.081711 client server TCP 55879 > 6006 [PSH, ACK] Seq=133 Ack=106 Win=66672 Len=22 "MSG_2 RCV" 21 2.081761 client server TCP 55879 > 6006 [PSH, ACK] Seq=155 Ack=106 Win=66672 Len=22 "MSG_3 RCV" 22 2.081846 server client TCP 6006 > 55879 [PSH, ACK] Seq=127 Ack=177 Win=5888 Len=21 "MSG_2 ECHO" 23 2.081995 server client TCP 6006 > 55879 [PSH, ACK] Seq=148 Ack=177 Win=5888 Len=21 "MSG_3 ECHO" 24 2.082011 client server TCP 55879 > 6006 [PSH, ACK] Seq=177 Ack=106 Win=66672 Len=22 "MSG_4 RCV" 25 2.082362 client server TCP 55879 > 6006 [PSH, ACK] Seq=199 Ack=106 Win=66672 Len=22 "MSG_5 RCV" 26 2.082377 server client TCP 6006 > 55879 [ACK] Seq=169 Ack=221 Win=5888 Len=0 27 2.171003 client server TCP 55879 > 6006 [ACK] Seq=221 Ack=148 Win=66632 Len=0 28 2.171019 server client TCP 6006 > 55879 [PSH, ACK] Seq=169 Ack=221 Win=5888 Len=42 "MSG_4 ECHO + MSG_5 ECHO" 29 2.257498 client server TCP 55879 > 6006 [ACK] Seq=221 Ack=211 Win=66568 Len=0 so, I got confirmation things are not working correctly for RH: packet 28 is sent TOO LATE, it looks like the server is waiting for packet 27's ACK before doing anything. seems to me it's the most likely reason... then I realized that the "Win" parameters are different on Solaris & RH dumps: 50400 on Solaris, only 5888 on RH. that's another hint... I read the doc about the slide window & buffer window, and played around with the rcvBuffer & sendBuffer in java on my sockets, but never managed to change this 5888 value to anything else (I checked each time directly with tcpdump). does anybody know how to do this ? I'm having a hard time getting definitive information, as in some cases there's "auto-negotiation" that I might need to bypass, etc... I eventually managed to get only partially rid of my initial problem by setting the "tcp_slow_start_after_idle" parameter to 0 on RH, but it did not change the "win" parameter at all. the same problem was there for the first 4 groups of 5 messages, with TCP retransmission & TCP Dup ACK in tcpdump, then the problem disappeared altogether for all following groups of 5 messages. It doesn't seem like a very clean and/or generic solution to me. I'd really like to reproduce the exact same conditions under both OSes. I'll keep researching, but any help from TCP gurus would be greatly appreciated ! thanks !

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  • how would you debug this javascript problem?

    - by pedalpete
    I've been travelling and developing for the past few weeks. The site I'm developing was running well. Then, the other day, i connected to a network and the page 'looked' fine, but it turns out the javascript wasn't running. I checked firebug, and there were no errors, as I was suspecting that maybe a script didn't load (I'm using the google api for jQuery and jQuery UI, as well as loading google maps api and fbconnect). I would suspect that if the issue was with one of these pages not loading I would get an error, and yet there was nothing. Thinking maybe i didn't connect properly or something, i reconnected to the network and even restarted my computer, as well as trying to run the local version. I got nothing. The local version not running also hinted to me that it was the loading of an external javascript which caused the problem. I let it pass as something strange with that one network. Unfortunately now I'm 100s of miles away. Today my brother sent me an e-mail that the network he was on at the airport wouldn't load my page. Same issue. Everything is laid out properly, and part of the layout is set in Javascript, so clearly javascript is running. he too got no errors. Of course, he got on his plane, and now he is no longer at the airport. Now the site works on his computer (and i haven't changed anything). How on earth would you go about figuring out what happened in this situation? That is two of maybe 12 or so networks. But I have no idea how i would find a network that doesn't work (and living in a small town, it could be difficult for me to find a network that doesn't work). Any ideas? The site is still in Dev, so I'd rather not post a link just yet (but could in a few days). What I can see not working is the javascript functions which are called on load, and on click. So i do think it is a javascript issue, but no errors. This wouldn't be as HUGE an issue if I could find and sit on one of these networks, but I can't. So what would you do? EDIT ---------------------------------------------------------- the first function(s - their linked) that doesn't get called is below. I've cut the code of at the .ajax call as the call wasn't being made. function getResultsFromForm(){ jQuery('form#filterList input.button').hide(); var searchAddress=jQuery('form#filterList input#searchTxt').val(); if(searchAddress=='' || searchAddress=='<?php echo $searchLocation; ?>'){ mapShow(20, -40, 0, 'areaMap', 2); jQuery('form#filterList input.button').show(); return; } if (GBrowserIsCompatible()) { var geo = new GClientGeocoder(); geo.setBaseCountryCode(cl.address.country); geo.getLocations(searchAddress, function (result) { if(!result.Placemark && searchAddress!='<?php echo $searchLocation; ?>'){ jQuery('span#addressNotFound').text('<?php echo $addressNotFound; ?>').slideDown('slow'); jQuery('form#filterList input.button').show(); } else { jQuery('span#addressNotFound').slideUp('slow').empty(); jQuery('span#headerLocal').text(searchAddress); var date = new Date(); date.setTime(date.getTime() + (8 * 24 * 60 * 60 * 1000)); jQuery.cookie('address', searchAddress, { expires: date}); var accuracy= result.Placemark[0].AddressDetails.Accuracy; var lat = result.Placemark[0].Point.coordinates[1]; var long = result.Placemark[0].Point.coordinates[0]; lat=parseFloat(lat); long=parseFloat(long); var getTab=jQuery('div#tabs div#active').attr('class'); jQuery('div#tabs').show(); loadForecast(lat, long, getTab, 'true', 0); var zoom=zoomLevel(); mapShow(lat, long, accuracy, 'areaMap', zoom ); } }); } } function zoomLevel(){ var zoomarray= new Array(); zoomarray=jQuery('span.viewDist').attr('id'); zoomarray=zoomarray.split("-"); var zoom=zoomarray[1]; if(zoom==''){ zoom=5; } zoom=parseFloat(zoom); return(zoom); } function loadForecast(lat, long, type, loadForecast, page){ jQuery('div#holdForecast').empty(); var date = new Date(); var d = date.getDate(); var day = (d < 10) ? '0' + d : d; var m = date.getMonth() + 1; var month = (m < 10) ? '0' + m : m; var year='2009'; toDate=year+'-'+month+'-'+day; var genre=jQuery('span.genreblock span#updateGenre').html(); var numDays=''; var numResults=''; var range=jQuery('span.viewDist').attr('id'); var dateRange = jQuery('.updateDate').attr('id'); jQuery('div#holdShows ul.showList').html('<li class="show"><div class="showData"><center><img src="../hwImages/loading.gif"/></center></div></li>'); jQuery('div#holdShows ul.'+type+'List').livequery(function(){ jQuery.ajax({ type: "GET", url: "processes/formatShows.php", data: "output=&genre="+genre+"&numResults="+numResults+"&date="+toDate+"&dateRange="+dateRange+"&range="+range+"&lat="+lat+"&long="+long+'&page='+page, success: function(response){ EDIT 2 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Please keep in mind that the problem is not that I can't load the site, the site works fine on most connections, but there are times when the site doesn't work, and no errors are thrown, and nothing changes. My brother couldn't run it earlier today while I had no problems, so it was something to do with his location/network. HOWEVER, the page loads, he had a connection, it was his first time visiting the site, so nothing could have been cashed. Same with when I had the issue a few days before. I didn't change anything, and I got to a different network and everything worked fine.

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  • You Might Be a DBA

    - by BuckWoody
    With all apologies to Jeff Foxworthy, I was up late Friday night on a holiday weekend (which translated into T-SQL becomes “Maintenance Window”) and I got bored in between the two or three minutes I had between clicks. So I started a “Twitter” meme – and it just took off. I haven’t cleaned these up much, but here, in author order as of Saturday the 29th of May is the list “You might be a DBA” from around the Twitterverse: buckwoody Your two main enemies are developers and SAN admins #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody People can use Access as a cross or garlic on you #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You always plan an exit strategy, even when entering a McDonald's #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You can't explain to your family what you really do for a living #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have at least one set of scripts you won't share #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have an opinion on the best code-beautifier #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have children older than the rest of your team #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You and the Oracle DBA would kill each other, but you'll happily fight off a developer together first #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've threatened to quit if they give anyone the sa password on production #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've sent a vendor suggestions on improving their database design or code (and been ignored) #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've sent a vendor suggestions on improving their database design or code (and been ignored) #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have an opinion on the best code-beautifier #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have at least one set of scripts you won't share #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You refer to co-workers as "carbon-units" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Being paranoid is on your resume at the top #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Everyone comes to your cube to find the MSDN DVD's #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You always plan an exit strategy, even when entering a McDonald's #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've worn down developers to get your way by explaining normalization levels #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You refer to clothes as "Data Abstractions" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Users pester you to be able to put data in a database, then they pester you to take it out and put it in Excel #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Others try to de-duplicate data, you try to copy it to more than three locations #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have at least one DLT tape in the trunk of your car #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You use twitter and facebook to talk with colleagues because there's no one else in your company that does what you do #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your spouse knows what "ETL" means #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've referred to yourself as the "Data Janitor" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You don't have positive connotations of the word "upgrade" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You get your coffee before you check your servers, because you know you won't get any if you don't #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You always come to work through the back door so no one hijacks you on the way to your cube #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You check your server logs before you check your e-mail in the morning so you can reply "Yeah, I already fixed that." #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have more conference badges than clean socks #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your coffee mug says "It depends" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You can convince a boss that you need 16GB of RAM in your laptop #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've used ebay to find production equipment #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You pad all project timelines by 2X, and you still miss them #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know when your company is acquiring another even before the CFO #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You pad all project timelines by 2X, and you still miss them #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You call aspirin "work vitamins" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You get the same amount of sleep even after you have a child #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You obsess about performance metrics from over one year ago #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody The first thing you buy after the database software is aftermarket tools to manage the database software #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've tried to convince someone else to become a DBA #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You use twitter and facebook to talk with colleagues because there's no one else in your company that does what you do #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You only know other DBA's by their Tweet Handle #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've explained the difference between 32 and 64-bit to more than one manager in terms they can understand, using puppets #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your two main enemies are developers and SAN admins #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've driven to the Datacenter to install SQL Server because "you don't trust those NOC admins" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You pay more for faster Internet connections than cable at home so you don't have to drive in #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You call texting a "queuing system" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know that if someone can read Perl, they manage an Oracle system #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have an e-mail rule for backup notifications #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your food pyramid includes coffee, salt and fat #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You wish everything had a graphical query plan #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You refactor your e-mails #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've gotten more help from twitter and facebook than all your years in college #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You would pay money for a license plate that has the letters S-Q-L together #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have actually considered making a RAID array from thumb drives #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Everything on your laptop is installed from your MSDN subscription #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've written blog posts on technology you've never actually implemented in production #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Everything on your laptop is installed from your MSDN subscription #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody @MidnightDBA Click the #youmightbeaDBA tag. I've had WAY too much coffee today.  buckwoody There is no other position that is 1-deep except you and the CEO #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody When you watch "The Office" you call it "OJT" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You would pay money for a license plate that has the letters S-Q-L together #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your blog would make a "best practices" or "worst practices" book #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have actually considered making a RAID array from thumb drives #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody The first thing you install on your netbook is SSMS #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Everything on your laptop is installed from your MSDN subscription #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your watch is set to UTC because it's just easier #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You make plenty of money, but you're excited to get a $2.00 squeeze-ball from Quest and Redgate #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You make plenty of money, but you're excited to get a $2.00 squeeze-ball from Quest and Redgate #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You think data can be represented as something OTHER than XML #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You tell people that you made a database query go faster, and expect them to be happy for you #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You take the word "NoSQL" as a personal attack #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody People can use Access as a cross or garlic on you #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody * == bad #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody * == bad #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody There are just as many females in your technical field as males #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody People can use Access as a cross or garlic on you #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've gotten more help from twitter and facebook than all your years in college #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You think that something OTHER than the database might be the performance bottleneck #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You refer to time as a "Clustered Index" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know why "user" refers to both business people and crack addicts #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You make plenty of money, but you're excited to get a $2.00 squeeze-ball from Quest and Redgate #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You can't explain to your family what you really do for a living #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You tell people that you made a database query go faster, and expect them to be happy for you #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You think a millisecond is a really long time #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You're sitting and typing #youmightbeaDBA when you could be outside #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You can't wait for a technical conference so you can wear a kilt - and you're not Scottish #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know that "DBA" stands for "Default Blame Acceptor" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody People can use Access as a cross or garlic on you #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know what "the truth, thole truth and nothing but the truth, so help me Codd" means #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've gotten more help from twitter and facebook than all your years in college #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You can't talk fast enough to get a concept out of your head so you tweet it instead #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You cry when someone doesn't use a WHERE clause #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You think data can be represented as something OTHER than XML #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You think "Set theory" is not an verb but a noun #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You try to convince random strangers to vote on your Connect item #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You think 3 hours of contiguous sleep is a good thing #youmightbeaDBA or #youmightbeamother  buckwoody You don't like Oracle, and not just because of what she did to Neo #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know when to say "sequel" and "s-q-l" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know where the data is #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You refer to your children as "Fully Redundant Mirrors" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Holiday == "Maintenance Window" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your laptop is more powerful than the servers in most companies - including your own #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You capitalize SELECTed words #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You take the word "NoSQL" as a personal attack #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know why "user" refers to both business people and crack addicts #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You cringe in public when the word "upgrade" is used in a sentence #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Holiday == "Maintenance Window" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody All Data Is MetaData means something to you #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've never seen the driveway to your house in the daylight #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You think that something OTHER than the database might be the performance bottleneck #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Most of your bloodstream is composed of caffeine #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your task list is labeled "CRUD Matrix" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You call your wife/husband a "Linked Server" #youmightbeaDBA  anonythemouse When someone tells you they are going to take a dump and you wonder of which database then #youmightbeaDBA  anonythemouse When it's 11pm on a holiday weekend and you are working #youmightbeaDBA  anonythemouse When you sit down at a table and look for it's primary key #youmightbeaDBA  anonythemouse When getting milk from the fridge you check the expiry date is > getdate() #youmightbeaDBA  blakmk when you wake up dreaming about sql #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver You think a @buckwoody bobblehead would be a cool thing to have on the dashboard of your car #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver Your friends don't understand why you think there's a difference between single and double quotes #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver Even the newest employees know your name from all the downtime notices you've sent out #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver You sometimes feel anxious and think "I should test restoring those backups" and then the feeling passes #youmightbeadba  CharlesGarver You know what a co-worker means when they ask "how is your squirrel server?" #youmightbeadba  CharlesGarver You can't sleep at night and you ponder the logisitcs of collecting every copy of Access for the world's biggest bonfire #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver You can't sleep at night and you ponder the logisitcs of collecting every copy of Access for the world's biggest bonfire #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver You're willing to move someone's job up in priority for a box of #voodoodonuts #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver Each person in your company seems to think you work for THEM #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver You have a Love/Hate relationship going on with #Microsoft #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver People ask you to troubleshoot their Access program #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver The first words you hear in the morning are 'your voicemail box is full' #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver The thought of disrupting 500 people's work so you can do something doesn't phase you #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver You can't sleep at night and you ponder the logisitcs of collecting every copy of Access for the world's biggest bonfire #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver Your home computer is backed up in 3 different places #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver Your wardrobe for work includes pajamas #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver Someone tells you to look in the INDEX and you look puzzled before finally going to the back of the book. #youmightbeaDBA  chuckboycejr If you have ever set up a SQLAgent job to email your mobile phone to serve as an alarm clock #youmightbeaDBA  chuckboycejr If you'd rather meet Itzik than Jay Z #youmightbeaDBA  chuckboycejr If you'd rather meet Itzik than Jay Z #youmightbeaDBA  chuckboycejr If you'd wrestle a SysAdmin to the ground to implement #DPA best practices as per @aspiringgeek #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy I need to be up in 7 hours, so I'm off to bed! I'll have to read the rest of @buckwoody's #youmightbeaDBA posts in the AM. (g'night Buck!)  databaseguy When people ask you about your house, the first thing you describe is the network. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy The last thing you say at the office each day is, "is anybody else here? I'm shutting off the lights!" #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy Your blood pressure rises when you read application specs drafted by marketing. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy A good day at work is one when nobody pays you no mind. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You care about latches and wait states. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You have worked over 200 hours on a performance tuning project that required no application changes at all. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy The late-night security guard knows the names of your spouse and kids. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You have had vigorous debates about whether it should be pronounced "sequel" or "ess-queue-ell". #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You have VPN and RDP software installed on your phone ... just in case. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You have edited a data file by hand, just to see what would happen. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You decorate your office walls with database catalog posters. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You've built programs that access data just to keep other developers from asking you to run queries all the time. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy When you watch movies like The Matrix, you find yourself calculating the fasibility of storing all that data. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You have tried to convince someone to spend money on an SSD storage array. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy When CPU is spiked on a server, you want to gather forensic evidence. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You have to remind developers not to push code to production without checking if the database is ready. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy Nobody cares what you wear to work, as long as the thing keeps running. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy Telepathy is a job requirement when working with app dev teams. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You read database statistics for the educational value. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy And your boss freely admits this to anyone within earshot. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy Your boss cannot explain or understand what you do. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You envision ERDs when you see a GUI. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You say things like "applications come and go, but data lasts forever." #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You have memorized the names of several of the AdventureWorks employees. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You know what MAXDOP setting you can get away with for a big query based on current server load. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy And you immediately recognize the recursion in my last tweet. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You find 50 simultaneous tweets from @buckwoody about #youmightbeaDBA :O)  DBAishness You have "funny stories" about the times your developers accidentally deleted the T-log in their test environment. #youmightbeaDBA  DBAishness Planning to slice and dice your MDW data with PowerPivot makes you giggle like a schoolgirl. #youmightbeaDBA  donalddotfarmer You think @buckwoody lives in the "real world." #youmightbeaDBA  jamach09 @buckwoody #youmightbeaDBA Why go outside when you can sit in the nice cool server room?  jamach09 If you refer to procreation as "Replication", #youmightbeaDBA.  jamach09 If you think ORM is a four-letter word, #youmightbeaDBA  JamesMarsh If you have ever preached the value of Source Code Control, #YouMightBeADBA  jethrocarr @venzann You store your shopping list in a ACID compliant DB #youmightbeaDBA  joe_positive @buckwoody thought it stood for "Don't Bother Asking" #youmightbeaDBA  joe_positive when you check your IT Events Calendar before making weekend plans #youmightbeaDBA  LadyRuna You cringe whenever someone calls Excel a database #youmightbeaDBA  LadyRuna When the waiter says he'll be your server today, you ask how many terabytes he is #youmightbeaDBA  LadyRuna you always call the asterisk a "Star" #youmightbeaDBA  LadyRuna You walk into a server room, say "Nice RACK!" and everyone there knows you're talking about server rack... #youmightbeaDBA  LadyRuna You receive more messages from servers than from friends #youmightbeaDBA  LadyRuna hmmm... #youmightbeaDBA if your recipe for gumbo is "SELECT * FROM Refrigerator"  markjholmes @SQLSoldier Heh. #youmightbeaDBA if you correct other DBAs' spelling of @PaulRandal  markjholmes #youmightbeaDBA if you actually test RAID5 vs RAID10 on your SAN because when it comes to configuration, "it depends."  markjholmes #youmightbeaDBA if you have at least 3 definitions of the word "cluster"  MarlonRibunal 3 Words: @BrentO, snicker, & Access #youmightbeaDBA  MarlonRibunal @onpnt @mikeSQL my appeal was a couple of mins late. Enjoying #youmightbeaDBA  MarlonRibunal @mikeSQL @onpnt pls, don't mention bacon #youmightbeaDBA  merv @buckwoody You HATE 3-way joins #youmightbeaDBA  MidnightDBA If you're up at midnight Tweeting about SQL #youmightbeaDBA  MidnightDBA @buckwoody I'd noticed that. :) #youmightbeaDBA  mikeSQL when people talk about "their type" you're thinking varchar, bigint, binary, etc #youmightbeadba  mikeSQL people ask you to go to lunch , but you can't go because you're attending #SQLlunch #youmightbeadba  mikeSQL you laugh for hours at all of the #sqlmoviequotes ....things in which a normal individual would scratch their head at. #youmightbeadba  mikeSQL you laugh for hours at all of the #sqlmoviequotes ....things in which a normal individual would scratch their head at. #youmightbeadba  mrdenny If you think that @buckwoody's demo using PowerPivot to analyze index usage data from DMVs is awesome then #youmightbeaDBA  mrdenny You wish @PaulRandal still worked at Microsoft so that they would make a bobble head of him #youmightbeadba  mrdenny When it's 11pm on a holiday weekend, and your posting stupid jokes on Twitter then #youmightbeadba  mrdenny If you go out with friends and wonder why no one's wearing a kilt then #YouMightBeADBA  mrdenny You can't do basic math, but you know off the top of your head how many CALs $14,412 can buy you. #YoumightbeaDBA  mrdenny If you've ever setup a SQL Job to email you to get you out of a regularly scheduled meeting #YouMightBeADBA.  mrdenny You throw up in your mouth a little when ever you here the word "Access". Even if it doesn't relate to a MS product. #YouMightBeADBA  msdtjones You spend more time listening to @buckwoody than your wife #youmightbeaDBA  NFDotCom You perform "hail deltas" on a regular basis. #YouMightBeADBA  NoelMcKinney If you tell your wife you want to go to Columbus Ohio for your wedding anniversary so you can attend #sqlsat42 then #youmightbeaDBA  NoelMcKinney You read a union is on strike and wonder if it's a UNION ALL #youmightbeaDBA  NoelMcKinney You read a union is on strike and wonder if it's a UNION ALL #youmightbeaDBA  NoelMcKinney Someone asks you to throw another log on the fire and you tell them not to worry about it because Autogrowth is turned on #youmightbeaDBA  Nuurdygirl Even if you have a girlfriend...its possible #youmightbeadba. Yeah-i said its possible!  Nuurdygirl When your girlfriend has to lean around the laptop to kiss you goodnight #youmightbeadba  Old_Man_Fish If you worry about how big your package is and how long it takes to finish #youmightbeaDBA  Old_Man_Fish If you no longer wonder if someone is in trouble or died if you are getting calls at 2AM #youmightbeaDBA  Old_Man_Fish If, when you hear the word ACCESS with no connotation you blood pressure jumps 50 points, #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt When you hear the word inject you immediately get concerned if your databases are OK #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt Your servers haven't been rebooted in a year #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You know why it's funny when @PaulRandal has the word, "Sheep" in a tweet #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You have read BOL without actually having a problem to figure out #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You can type "SELECT columns FROM tables" without typos but tipen ni Banglish ares a messis #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt DR strategies doesn't include the word, RAID in them #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt you can move a SQL Server instance to a new server without the users ever knowing #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You have made an SSIS package that is more than one step #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You have the balls to say no to your boss when they ask for the sa password #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt you google to trouble shoot a problem and end up at your own blog (and it fixes it) #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You talk your wife into moving the family vacation a week earlier so you can attend the areas local SSUG meeting #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt you can explain to a nontechnical person what a deadlock is #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You hope a girl asks you what your collation is #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt you make jokes that include the words shrink, truncate and 1205. And you are the only one that laughs at them #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You rate your ability to stay awake to work longer on blogs, twitter, forums and your day to day job with the 5 9's goal #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt you have major surgery and beg the doctor to release you back to work 5 days later because you miss your servers #youmightbeaDBA #TrueStory  onpnt You do have backups and you know how to use them #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt It's the network #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt When the developers get to work your mood changes rapidly #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt When someone says, "PASS", you first think of karaoke #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt Recruiters try to get you to call them *just* because they think you'll give them @BrentO contact info #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You chuckle every time you go to grab the "CLR" Calcium, Lime and Rust Remover to clean something #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt @MarlonRibunal @mikeSQL Sorry man, it was already in motion ;-) #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt When you have an "I love bacon" sticker on your laptop. #youmightbeaDBA http://twitpic.com/1ry671  onpnt You sing SELECT statements in the shower #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt When you see a chicken it doesn't remind you of food. It reminds you of a guy named Jorge #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt At time, SQL is your mistress #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt Your wife wonders if SQL is the code name of your mistress at times #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt it's Friday and you are on twitter thinking really hard about what would be funny for hash tag #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You organize your wife's "decorative"pillows on the bed in a B-Tree structure #youmightbeaDBA  PaulWhiteNZ If you: SELECT TOP (1) milk FROM fridge WHERE use_by_date >= GET_DATE() ORDER BY use_by_date ASC #YouMightBeaDBA  RonDBA #youmightbeaDBA if you read @buckwoody's and @BrentO's blogs.  ryaneastabrook @buckwoody omg, you have to stand up a website with these on them, they are awesome #youmightbeaDBA  soulvy @StrateSQL @LadyRuna Or a "Splat" #youmightbeaDBA  speedracer You can still fall asleep after three cups of coffee #youmightbeaDBA  speedracer You retweet @buckwoody on a Friday night #youmightbeaDBA  speedracer You can still fall asleep after three cups of coffee #youmightbeaDBA  speedracer Developers make you twitch #youmightbeaDBA  sqlagentman You know what X/1024*8 is. #YouMightBeADBA  SqlAsylum Your still in the office at 5:00 on memorial day weekend. #youmightbeadba :)  SQLBob Whenever someone you know gets pregnant you bring up INNER JOINs or SQL Injection attacks... #youmightbeaDBA  SQLChicken You know one or more SQL folks in the community with an animal in their username #youmightbeaDBA  SQLChicken You've used one or more car analogies to explain how a database works #youmightbeaDBA  SQLChicken “@sqljoe: #youmightbeaDBA if you applied to attend #sqlu and requested @SQLChicken to pull strings for you” lmao nice!  SQLChicken When talking about SSIS your discussions break down into various jokes about packages #youmightbeaDBA  SQLChicken Just SEEING the code for cursors makes you break out in hives #youmightbeaDBA  SQLChicken Just SEEING the code for cursors makes you break out in hives #youmightbeaDBA  SQLCraftsman You coined the phrase "Magic SAN Dust" because calling a vendor's marketing claims BS is not acceptable in a meeting. #YouMightBeADBA  SQLCraftsman If you hear about a new feature with the acronym "DAC" and wonder what disaster of a feature it is attached to this time. #YouMightBeADBA  SQLCraftsman You really own a "Stick of Much Developer Whacking" #YouMightBeADBA  SQLCraftsman You coined the phrase "Magic SAN Dust" because calling a vendor's marketing claims BS is not acceptable in a meeting. #YouMightBeADBA  SQLCraftsman Default Blame Acceptor #YouMightBeADBA  SQLCraftsman If you hear about a new feature with the acronym "DAC" and wonder what disaster of a feature it is attached to this time. #YouMightBeADBA  SQLCraftsman Default Blame Acceptor #YouMightBeADBA  SQLCraftsman If you hear about a new feature with the acronym "DAC" and wonder what disaster of a feature it is attached to this time. #YouMightBeADBA  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you wished your wife knew T-sql. USE ShoppingList SELECT NecessaryItems from Supermarket WHERE Category<> ("junk food")  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if the first thing you kiss when you wake up is your mobile for not waking you up in the middle of the night  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if your wife has a "Do Not Fly" family vacation list of her own including your laptop and mobile  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you have researched for DBA Anonymous groups and attended a #SSUG willing to drop your database (vice)  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if your only maintenance windows are staff meetings  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you think of yourself as "The One" in The Matrix "balancing the equation" from The Architect's (developers) poor coding  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you think @PaulRandal should have played the Oracle in The Matrix  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if home CD & Movie collection is stored in secured containers,in logical order & naming convention,and with a backup copy  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you applied to attend #sqlu and requested @SQLChicken to pull strings for you  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you have tried to TiVo @MidnightDBA broadcasts  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if your #sql user group feels like #AA meetings  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you thought of bringing your #sql books to #sqlsaturday and #sqlpass for autographs  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if #sqlpass feels like the #oscars  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you are proud of your small package  SQLLawman #youmightbeaDBA when you hear MDX and Acura is not first thought that comes to mind.  sqlrunner If your wife double checks that there isn't a SQLSat within 200 miles of your vacation destination #youmightbeaDBA  sqlrunner When you're on a conference call and your wife thinks your speaking in a foreign language #youmightbeaDBA  sqlrunner When you're on a conference call and your wife thinks your speaking in a foreign language #youmightbeaDBA  sqlrunner You treat the word 'access' as a verb, not a noun #youmightbeaDBA  sqlrunner If you are happy with sub-second performance #youmightbeaDBA  sqlrunner When you know the names of the NOC people AND their families #youmightbeadba  sqlrunner When you know the names of the NOC people AND their families #youmightbeadba  sqlrunner Your company set's up international phone coverage for your cruise #youmightbeaDBA  sqlsamson @buckwoody if your manager asks you for data and you respond with "there's a script for that" #youmightbeadba  sqlsamson @buckwoody If you receive more messages from your server then your spouse #youmightbeadba  SQLSoldier You've spent all night Valentines Day upgrading the SQL Servers and forgot to tell your wife you'd be working late. #youmightbeadba  SQLSoldier You're flattered when someone calls you a geek. #youmightbeadba  SQLSoldier @llangit @mrdenny it's 11pm on a holiday weekend, & your reading stupid jokes on Twitter then #youmightbeadba  SQLSoldier Your manager borrows lunch money from you because your salary is 30% higher than his. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You think "intellisense" is a double negative because it's not intelligent nor makes sense. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier 75% of the emails you receive at home have the phrase "now following you on Twitter!" in the subject line. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You petition Ken Burns to remake Office Space because it should have been 18 hours long. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You select a candidate for a Jr DBA position because his resume said he's willing to get your coffee. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Somebody misquotes @PaulRandall and you call him on your cell to verify. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You wish the elevator in your building was slower because it's the last time you'll be left alone all day. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier The developers sacrifice small animals before giving you their code for review. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Developers bring you coffee and a BLT when you review their code. #youmightbeaDBA #IWish  SQLSoldier You can get out of any family get-together by saying you have to work and nobody questions it. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You've requested a HP Superdome for you "test" box. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your leave work early because your internet connection to the data center is better at home #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier The new CEO asks you to justify your salary, so you go on vacation for 2 weeks. And he never questions you again. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You cheer when Milton burns down the company in Office Space #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier A dev. asks if you've heard about some great new feature in SQL and you show the 16 blog posts you wrote on it ... last year #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your dev team is still testing SQL 2008 and you're already planning for SQL 11. #youmightbeaDBA #TrueStory  SQLSoldier The new CEO asks you to justify your salary, so you go on vacation for 2 weeks. And he never questions you again. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your dev team is still testing SQL 2008 and you're already planning for SQL 11. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You use a cell phone service coverage map to plan your next vacation. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You come in to work at 7 AM because it gives you at least 3 hours without any developers around. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You figure out a way to make take your wife on a cruise and deduct it as a business expense. #youmightbeaDBA #sqlcruise  SQLSoldier You name your cat SQLDog because the name @SQLCat was already taken. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You rate your blog posts based on the number of retweets you get. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You disable random logins just to mess with people. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You fall for the pickup line, "Hey baby, what's your collation?" #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You can blame an outage on anyone in the company because you're the only one that knows how to find out what really happened #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You can blame an outage on anyone in the company because you're the only one that knows how to find out what really happened #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You cheer when Milton burns down the company in Office Space #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your leave work early because your internet connection to the data center is better at home #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You cheer when Milton burns down the company in Office Space #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your think the 4 food groups are coffee, bacon, fast food, and Mountain Dew. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You tell someone your job title and they ask "What?" You describe it and they ask "What?". So you say "computer geek". #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier The #1 referrer to your blog is Twitter.com. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your idea of a good time on a Saturday involves free training. #youmightbeaDBA #sqlsat43  SQLSoldier You write a book that all of your co-workers have and none have read it. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You write a book that sells a couple thousand copies and is heralded a best seller. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier No matter how sick you are, you go to work if it's time to pass the pager on to the next guy. #youmightbeaDBA #TrueStory  SQLSoldier You go out on the town, and strangers walk up to you and say, "Hey you're that SQL guy" #youmightbeaDBA #TrueStory  SQLSoldier Your wife asks you to fix something, and you request a downtime window. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your wife asks when you'll be home, and you tell her that you wish you knew. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your best pickup line, "Hey baby, what's your collation?" #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your wife asks when you'll be home, and you tell her that you wish you knew. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You know that @BuckWoody is not someone's porno name. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You list TSQL as your native language on the 2010 census. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Starbucks' stock price drops every time you go on vacation. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You're happy when the web master says that the website is down. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You know that @BuckWoody is not someone's porno name. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You get mad when someone calls your car a "heap" because you've always considered it to be a "clustered index". #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your blog has more hits than your company's website. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You systematically remove the asterisk key from all keyboards in the company except yours. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier When asked if you recycle, you reply that you run sp_cycle_errorlog every night at midnight #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You wouldn't allow someone named @AdamMachanic to work on your car. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You switch offices every 3 days to avoid developers #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier PSS has your number on speed dial. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You frown when you they tell Neo that he's going to the Oracle #youmightbeaDBA  swhaley you regretted saying "This shouldn't effect production" #youmightbeaDBA  swhaley you regretted saying "This shouldn't effect production" #youmightbeaDBA  Tarwn A pleasurable saturday means spending the day learning more about what you already do the rest of the week #youmightbeaDBA ...oh, wait...  thelostforum For great justice; all our base are belong to YOU !! #youmightbeadba  thelostforum @SQLSoldier: You need a witness to use a mirror #youmightbeaDBA ;)  TimCost you capitalize key words. always. everywhere. you can't help it, usually don't even notice. #youmightbeaDBA  Toshana Your the only one in your company not impressed with the developers new application. #youmightbeaDBA  venzann Coming soon from a (respected) book publisher - @buckwoody's #youmightbeaDBA  venzann He's on a role tonight. @buckwoody is summing up my life with his #youmightbeaDBA tweets...  venzann I love the #youmightbeaDBA tag. Found at least 6 new DBAs to follow..  venzann He's on a role tonight. @buckwoody is summing up my life with his #youmightbeaDBA tweets...  venzann You use #sqlhelp as a primary resource during troubleshooting #youmightbeaDBA  venzann You insist on stricter password security for your sql servers than you implement on your own laptop #youmightbeaDBA  WesBrownSQL @buckwoody you are up so late the only tweets you see are from @buckwoody #youmightbeaDBA  WesBrownSQL @SQLSoldier you are upgrading all your 2005 prod servers to 2008 R2 on a three day weekend... #youmightbeaDBA  zippy1981 #youmightbeaDBA if everytime you do something with #mongodb you think of the Vulcan proverb "only Nixon could go to China."  Share this post: email it! | bookmark it! | digg it! | reddit! | kick it! | live it!

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