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  • Why do "Joke" programming languages exist? [closed]

    - by ThePlan
    First of all please be aware this post contains some abusive language but I hope it will not bother anyone. I apologize for the bad language but that's what the name is. As I've been doing documentation on existing programming languages attempting to make a complete list of them I stumbled across terrible programming languages, which were clearly not made for actual use and implementation due to their insane difficulty. Languages such as Brainfu*k and LOLCODE or Whitespace are fool languages because they have no real use. For example, a "Hello world" program written in BrainFu*k. Taken from Wikipedia: The following program prints "Hello World!" and a newline to the screen: +++++ +++++ initialize counter (cell #0) to 10 [ use loop to set the next four cells to 70/100/30/10 > +++++ ++ add 7 to cell #1 > +++++ +++++ add 10 to cell #2 > +++ add 3 to cell #3 > + add 1 to cell #4 <<<< - decrement counter (cell #0) ] > ++ . print 'H' > + . print 'e' +++++ ++ . print 'l' . print 'l' +++ . print 'o' > ++ . print ' ' << +++++ +++++ +++++ . print 'W' > . print 'o' +++ . print 'r' ----- - . print 'l' ----- --- . print 'd' > + . print '!' > . print '\n' or another example taken from LOLCODE language: HAI CAN HAS STDIO? PLZ OPEN FILE "LOLCATS.TXT"? AWSUM THX VISIBLE FILE O NOES INVISIBLE "ERROR!" KTHXBYE These languages are very difficult to learn/read/work with. My question is - Why do they exist? What is the purpose of them? Also, is there an official "name" for these type of languages?

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  • What's Your Favorite Harmless Computer Practical Joke?

    - by Ben Griswold
    A couple of months ago, I returned from lunch to find that typing any key launched a random application. As I always lock my machine before walking away from it, my first thought was that a co-worker was playing a practical joke on me. As it turned out, the cause was random computer wonkiness. But just in case there's a need :), what's your favorite harmless computer practical joke? For example, would you alter host file entries to direct google.com to a random site or would you put tape over the optical sensor of a co-worker’s mouse?

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  • Translate binary joke to ASCII

    - by Nix
    I found this cartoon is a binary joke and have been trying to translate! I got the binary from the GIF, but I can't find out how to translate to ASCII... 10001 11011 11 1011 01 01001 11011 0111011 01 100101 10 01111 01 100101 10 01111 01 01001 11011 0111011 01 10001 11011 11 1011 01 10001 11011 11 1011 01 01001 11011 0111011 01 100101 10 01111 01 100101 10 01111 01 01001 11011 0111011 01 1001 11011 11 1011 01 01101 Any help translating would be great.

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  • Are functional programming languages good for practical tasks?

    - by Clueless
    It seems to me from my experimenting with Haskell, Erlang and Scheme that functional programming languages are a fantastic way to answer scientific questions. For example, taking a small set of data and performing some extensive analysis on it to return a significant answer. It's great for working through some tough Project Euler questions or trying out the Google Code Jam in an original way. At the same time it seems that by their very nature, they are more suited to finding analytical solutions than actually performing practical tasks. I noticed this most strongly in Haskell, where everything is evaluated lazily and your whole program boils down to one giant analytical solution for some given data that you either hard-code into the program or tack on messily through Haskell's limited IO capabilities. Basically, the tasks I would call 'practical' such as Aceept a request, find and process requested data, and return it formatted as needed seem to translate much more directly into procedural languages. The most luck I have had finding a functional language that works like this is Factor, which I would liken to a reverse-polish-notation version of Python. So I am just curious whether I have missed something in these languages or I am just way off the ball in how I ask this question. Does anyone have examples of functional languages that are great at performing practical tasks or practical tasks that are best performed by functional languages?

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  • 2010 April Fools Joke

    - by Dane Morgridge
    I started at my current job at the end of March last year and there were some pretty funny April fools jokes.  Nothing super crazy, but pretty funny.  One guy came in and there was a tree in his cube.  We (me and the rest of my team) were planning for a couple of weeks on what we could do that would be just awesome.  We had a lot of really good ideas but nothing was spectacular.  Then Steve Andrews had a brilliant idea (yes it's true).  Since we have internal DNS servers we could redirect DNS to our internal servers for a site such as cnn.com.  Then we would lift the code from the site and create our own home page that would contain news about people in the company.  Steve was actually laughing so hard when he thought of the idea that it took him almost 30 minutes to spit it out. I thought, "this is perfect". I had enlisted a couple of people to help come up with the stories and at the same time we were trying to figure out how to get everybody to the site the morning of the 1st.  Then it hit me.  We could have the main article be one of my getting picked up by the FBI on hacking charges.  Then Chris (my boss) could send an email out telling everyone that I would not be there today and direct them to the site.  That would for sure get everyone to go to cnn.com first thing and see our prank.  I begun the process of looking for photos I could crop myself into and found the perfect one.  Then my wife took a good pic with our Canon 40D and I went to work.  The night before I didn't have any other stories due to everyone being really busy at work, but I decided to go ahead with just the FBI bust on it's own.  I got everything working and tested and coordinated with Chris for me to come in late so no one would see me at the office until after everyone had seen the joke. And so the morning of April fools came and I was waiting at home and the email was perfect.  Chris told everyone that I wouldn't be in and that not to answer any questions if you got any calls from anybody.  The Photoshop job I did was not perfect, but good enough and I even wrote an article with it that went into more detail about how I had been classified as a terrorist and all kinds of stuff. People at work started getting the emails and a few people didn't realize it was a joke (as I had hoped), including some from senior management (one person in particular who shall remain nameless in this post).  Emails started flying around about how to contain the situation and how to handle bad PR.  He basically bought it hook, line and sinker and then went in to crisis mode.  It was awesome! He did finally realize it was a joke and I will likely print and frame the email he sent out.  In short, April fools this year was a huge success.

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  • What are some practical uses of the "new" modifier in C# with respect to hiding?

    - by Joel Etherton
    A co-worker and I were looking at the behavior of the new keyword in C# as it applies to the concept of hiding. From the documentation: Use the new modifier to explicitly hide a member inherited from a base class. To hide an inherited member, declare it in the derived class using the same name, and modify it with the new modifier. We've read the documentation, and we understand what it basically does and how it does it. What we couldn't really get a handle on is why you would need to do it in the first place. The modifier has been there since 2003, and we've both been working with .Net for longer than that and it's never come up. When would this behavior be necessary in a practical sense (e.g.: as applied to a business case)? Is this a feature that has outlived its usefulness or is what it does simply uncommon enough in what we do (specifically we do web forms and MVC applications and some small factor WinForms and WPF)? In trying this keyword out and playing with it we found some behaviors that it allows that seem a little hazardous if misused. This sounds a little open-ended, but we're looking for a specific use case that can be applied to a business application that finds this particular tool useful.

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  • RIM's current BB7 developer toolset is a joke

    - by mbrit
    tl;dr - RIM's current developer toolset is not fit for purpose.Background to this is that I'm currently working on a PhoneGap/Cordova project for a client that has to run on BlackBerry. The tooling is so ridiculous to use that even though I had a gentle dig at them in a Guardian piece it's worth having a more full-on attack.At the moment, RIM's pitch is that apps are built for the current BBOS7 devices using WebWorks. This is an HTML-based toolset. Essentially a browser is spun up in a native app container and your app is powered by JavaScript. Specific JavaScript libraries exist that thunk down to native capabilities no the device. I happen to use PhoneCap/Cordova in combination with this.The tooling is non-existent. I'm using TextMate, Ant, and Terminal to develop the app. There's no "console.log" output, and no debugging. The only way to instrument the app is to put "alert" calls in your code.Apart from the fact that that's *not* fine in 2012, how about this… every time you deploy a new app to the device, the device has to reboot. This process takes six minutes on a relatively modern BlackBerry device. How about this as well - in order to get a file into the package it has to be signed. My small app over here has 100 different files (75 or so generated). Signing doesn't happen locally, it happens on RIM's servers in Waterloo. Thus whenever you deploy the app you have this utility have to call RIM's servers 100 times. More to the point, sometimes during the day these servers have "micro-downtime" moments where they're unreachable for five or ten minutes, normally two or three times a day. Oh yes, you'll also get an email sent to you per signing on success or failure. 100 inbound emails, per deployment.(I started this post at the beginning of one of these cycles, by the way. That's how long it takes to build and deploy *once*. By the way, the change I made didn't work.)To clarify:* Change the script,* Build it using Ant,* Ant will spin up a Java app that talks to RIM's servers to sign it.* Receive 100 emails, assuming the server is up.* App deployed - takes about 30 seconds.* BlackBerry device restarts - takes about six minutes.* Find and open the app. Go through security prompts.* Test the app, with no "console.log" output and no debugger."Why not use the simulator?" I hear you ask. Well, apart from the fact that the simulator refused to reach any network service over HTTPS that I happen to own? (Some people suggest changing DNS settings for this known issue.) Admittedly, the simulator does show you console.log, but you still have the "six minute" restart issue on the simulator.Developers will understand this problem. Breaking concentration for six-plus minutes every time you want to deploy an app turns developing into a nightmare. Combining that with no worthy debugging tools turns the toolset into a joke.

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  • Java's Object.wait method with nanoseconds: Is this a joke or am I missing something

    - by Krumia
    I was checking out the Java API source code (Java 8) just out of curiosity. And I found this in java/lang/Object.java. There are three methods named wait: public final native void wait(long timeout): This is the core of all wait methods, which has a native implementation. public final void wait(): Just calls wait(0). And then there is public final void wait(long timeout, int nanos). The JavaDoc for the particular method tells me that, This method is similar to the wait method of one argument, but it allows finer control over the amount of time to wait for a notification before giving up. The amount of real time, measured in nanoseconds, is given by: 1000000*timeout+nanos But this is how the methods achieves "finer control over the amount of time to wait": if (nanos >= 500000 || (nanos != 0 && timeout == 0)) { timeout++; } wait(timeout); So this method basically does a crude rounding up of nanoseconds to milliseconds. Not to mention that anything below 500000ns/0.5ms will be ignored. Is this piece of code bad/unnecessary code, or am I missing some unseen virtue of declaring this method, and it's no argument cousin as the way they are?

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  • What types of programming require practical category theory?

    - by Alexander Gruber
    Category theory has applications in theoretical computer science and obviously is central to abstract mathematics. I have heard that it also has direct practical applications in programming and software development. What type of programming is practical category theory necessary for? What do programmers use category theory to accomplish? Please note my use of "necessary" and "require" in this post. I realize that in some sense most programmers will benefit from having experience in different types of theories, but I am looking for direct applications where the usage of category theory is essential, i.e. if you didn't know category theory, you probably couldn't do it. Also, I'd like to clarify that by "what type of programming," I am hoping less for a broad answer like "functional programming," and more for specific applications like "writing bank software" or "making operating systems."

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  • practical way to learn C?

    - by jondavidjohn
    I want to dig into C and normally when I want to learn a new language I think of a simple/attainable project goal that has some practical purpose (make use of an api, automate a task, etc...) I'm having a harder time coming up with one for C mainly because everything I read points to the fact that C's primary use currently is in embedded systems and more complex software projects like operating systems. Does this point me to the fact that I don't need to learn it or that I just need to be a bit more convoluted in my learning strategy? References to practical learning resources? (tutorial/how to that produces an end result that has some purpose/benifit)

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  • Practical considerations for HTML / CSS naming conventions (syntax)

    - by Jeroen
    Question: what are the practical considerations for the syntax in class and id values? Note that I'm not asking about the semantics, i.e. the actual words that are being used, as for example described in this blogpost. There are a lot of resources on that side of naming conventions already, in fact obscuring my search for practical information on the various syntactical bits: casing, use of interpunction (specifically the - dash), specific characters to use or avoid, etc. To sum up the reasons I'm asking this question: The naming restrictions on id and class don't naturally lead to any conventions The abundance of resources on the semantic side of naming conventions obscure searches on the syntactic considerations I couldn't find any authorative source on this There wasn't any question on SE Programmers yet on this topic :) Some of the conventions I've considered using: UpperCamelCase, mainly as a cross-over habit from server side coding lowerCamelCase, for consistency with JavaScript naming conventions css-style-classes, which is consistent with naming of css properties (but can be annoying when Ctrl+Shift+ArrowKey selection of text) with_under_scores, which I personally haven't seen used much alllowercase, simple to remember but can be hard to read for longer names UPPERCASEFTW, as a great way to annoy your fellow programmers (perhaps combined with option 4 for readability) And probably I've left out some important options or combinations as well. So: what considerations are there for naming conventions, and to which convention do they lead?

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  • practical use of knowledge vs tutorials [on hold]

    - by Lauris Skraucis
    I DONT NEED FACTS,I NEED OPINIONS FROM OTHER DEVELOPERS! Which would be more useful, spend more time on tutorials than on practical use of knowledge or spend more time making real life apps? Like I do everything 50/50 or better I spend all time practicing and putting my knowledge in real life things (php, jQuery, AngularJS)? This is a big pain, I learnt jQuery, then Angular, then php, but didn't practice and forget the code, now I watched basic and intermediate tutorials to refresh knowledge, so what do you think what is the best?

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  • SQL SERVER – SQL Server Misconceptions and Resolution – A Practical Perspective – TechEd 2012 India

    - by pinaldave
    TechEd India 2012 is just around the corner and I will be presenting there in two different sessions. On the very first day of this event, my presentation will be all about SQL Server Misconceptions and Resolution – A Practical Perspective. The dictionary tells us that a “misconception” means a view or opinion that is incorrect and is based on faulty thinking or understanding. In SQL Server, there are so many misconceptions. In fact, when I hear some of these misconceptions, I feel like fainting at that very moment! Seriously, at one time, I came across the scenario where instead of using INSERT INTO…SELECT, the developer used CURSOR believing that cursor is faster (duh!). Here is the link the blog post related to this. Pinal and Vinod in 2009 I have been presenting in TechEd India for last three years. This is my fourth opportunity to present a technical session on SQL Server. Just like the previous years, I decided to present something different. Here is a novelty of this year: I will be presenting this session with Vinod Kumar. Vinod Kumar and I have a great synergy when we work together. So far, we have written one SQL Server Interview Questions and Answers book and 2 video courses: (1) SQL Server Questions and Answers (2) SQL Server Performance: Indexing Basics. Pinal and Vinod in 2011 When we sat together and started building an outline for this course, we had many options in mind for this tango session. However, we have decided that we will make this session as lively as possible while keeping it natural at the same time. We know our flow and we know our conversation highlight, but we do not know what exactly each of us is going to present. We have decided to challenge each other on stage and push each other’s knowledge to the verge. We promise that the session will be entertaining with lots of SQL Server trivia, tips and tricks. Here are the challenges that I’ll take on: I will puzzle Vinod with my difficult questions I will present such misconception that Vinod will have no resolution for it. I need your help.  Will you help me stump Vinod? If yes, come and attend our session and join me to prove that together we are superior (a friendly brain clash, but we must win!). SQL Server enthusiasts and SQL Server fans are going to have gala time at #TechEdIn as we have a very solid lineup of the speaker and extremely interesting sessions at TechEdIn. Read the complete blog post of Vinod. Session Details Title: SQL Server Misconceptions and Resolution – A Practical Perspective (Add to Calendar) Abstract: “Earth is flat”! – An ancient common misconception, which has been proven incorrect as we progressed in modern times. In this session we will see various database misconceptions prevailing and their resolution with the aid of the demos. In this unique session audience will be part of the conversation and resolution. Date and Time: March 21, 2012, 15:15 to 16:15 Location: Hotel Lalit Ashok - Kumara Krupa High Grounds, Bengaluru – 560001, Karnataka, India. Add to Calendar Please submit your questions in the comments area and I will be for sure discussing them during my session. If I pick your question to discuss during my session, here is your gift I commit right now – SQL Server Interview Questions and Answers Book. Reference: Pinal Dave (http://blog.sqlauthority.com) Filed under: PostADay, SQL, SQL Authority, SQL Interview Questions and Answers, SQL Performance, SQL Query, SQL Server, SQL Tips and Tricks, T SQL, Technology Tagged: TechEd, TechEdIn

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  • Practical Performance Monitoring and Tuning Event

    - by Andrew Kelly
      For any of you who may be interested or know of someone in the market for a performance Monitoring and Tuning class I have just the ticket for you. It’s a 3 day event that will be held in Atlanta Ga. on January 25th to the 27th 2011. For those of you that know me or have been to my sessions you realize I like to provide more than just classroom theory and like to teach real world and above all practical methodology when it comes to performance in SQL Server. This class covers all the essentials...(read more)

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  • Upcoming Webinar: Practical Performance Profiling presented by Jean-Philippe Gouigoux

    - by Michaela Murray
    Hot on the heels of releasing his new book, Practical Performance Profiling, I'm delighted that Jean-Philippe Gouigoux will be joining us on April 3rd to present a free webinar on optimizing .NET code performance. He gave me a sneak preview of his talk last week and there's a lot of really useful advice in there. He'll be discussing why he thinks 20% of performance problems account for 80% of lost time, before looking at some real examples of both server-side and client-side profiling, and covering a variety of best practices you can use to improve the performance of your own code. The webinar will be followed by a Q&A session where he'll be joined by Red Gate technical support engineer Chris Allen to answer any of your questions. Jean-Philippe has 10 years' experience in .NET, most recently as system architect at MGDIS, and was recently made a Microsoft MVP for his contributions to the .NET community. I'm really excited that he's found a gap between his day job and university lecturing to share his knowledge, and I hope you'll be able to join us on April 3rd - it's free but you do need to register in advance at https://www3.gotomeeting.com/register/829014934. I'll see you there!

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  • theoretical and practical matrix multiplication FLOP

    - by mjr
    I wrote traditional matrix multiplication in c++ and tried to measure and compare its theoretical and practical FLOP. As I know inner loop of MM has 2 operation therefore simple MM theoretical Flops is 2*n*n*n (2n^3) but in practice I get something like 4n^3 + number of operation which is 2 i.e. 6n^3 also if I just try to add up only one array a[i][j]++ practical flops then calculate like 3n^3 and not n^3 as you see again it is 2n^3 +1 operation and not 1 operation * n^3 . This is in case if I use 1D array in three nested loops as Matrix multiplication and compare flop, practical flop is the same (near) the theoretical flop and depend exactly as the number of operation in inner loop.I could not find the reason for this behaviour. what is the reason in both case? I know that theoretical flop is not the same as practical one because of some operations like load etc. system specification: Intel core2duo E4500 3700g memory L2 cache 2M x64 fedora 17 sample results: Matrix matrix multiplication 512*512 Real_time: 1.718368 Proc_time: 1.227672 Total flpops: 807,107,072 MFLOPS: 657.429016 Real_time: 3.608078 Proc_time: 3.042272 Total flpops: 807,024,448 MFLOPS: 265.270355 theoretical flop: 2*512*512*512=268,435,456 Practical flops= 6*512^3 =807,107,072 Using 1 dimensional array float d[size][size]:512 or any size for (int j = 0; j < size; ++j) { for (int k = 0; k < size; ++k) { d[k]=d[k]+e[k]+f[k]+g[k]+r; } } Real_time: 0.002288 Proc_time: 0.002260 Total flpops: 1,048,578 MFLOPS: 464.027161 theroretical flop: *4n^2=4*512^2=1,048,576* practical flop : 4n^2+overhead (other operation?)=1,048,578 3 loop version: Real_time: 1.282257 Proc_time: 1.155990 Total flpops: 536,872,000 MFLOPS: 464.426117 theoretical flop:4n^3 = 536,870,912 practical flop: *4n^3=4*512^3+overheads(other operation?)=536,872,000* thank you

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  • Delegates: A Practical Understanding

    - by samerpaul
    It's been a while since I have written on this blog, and I'm planning on reviving it this summer, since I have more time to do so again.I've also recently started working on the iPhone platform, so I haven't been as busy in .NET as before.In either case, today's blog post applies to both C# and Objective-C, because it's more about a practical understanding of delegates than it is about code. When I was learning coding, I felt like delegates was one of the hardest things to conceptually understand, and a lot of books don't really do a good job (in my opinion) of explaining it. So here's my stab at it.A Real Life Example of DelegatesLet's say there are three of you. You, your friend, and your brother. You're each in a different room in your house so you can't hear each other, even if you shout. 1)You are playing a computer game2) Friend is building a puzzle3) Brother is nappingNow, you three are going to stay in your room but you want to be informed if anything interesting is happening to the one of you. Let's say you (playing the computer game) want to know when your brother wakes up.You could keep walking to the room, checking to see if he's napping, and then walking back to your room. But that would waste a lot of time / resources, and what if you miss when he's awake before he goes back to sleep? That would be bad.Instead, you hand him a 2-way radio that works between your room and his room. And you inform him that when he wakes up, he should press a button on the radio and say "I'm awake". You are going to be listening to that radio, waiting for him to say he's awake. This, in essence, is how a delegate works.You're creating an "object" (the radio) that allows you to listen in on an event you specify. You don't want him to send any other messages to you right now, except when he wakes up. And you want to know immediately when he does, so you can go over to his room and say hi. (the methods that are called when a delegate event fires). You're also currently specifying that only you are listening on his radio.Let's say you want your friend to come into the room at the same time as you, and do something else entirely, like fluff your brother's pillow. You will then give him an identical radio, that also hooks into your brother's radio, and inform him to wait and listen for the "i'm awake" signal.Then, when your brother wakes up, he says "I'm awake!" and both you and your friend walk into the room. You say hi, and your friend fluffs the pillow, then you both exit.Later, if you decide you don't care to say hi anymore, you turn off your radio. Now, you have no idea when your brother is awake or not, because you aren't listening anymore.So again, you are each classes in this example, and each of you have your own methods. You're playing a computer game (PlayComputerGame()), your friend is building a puzzle (BuildPuzzle()) and your brother is napping (Napping()). You create a delegate (ImAwake) that you set your brother to do, when he wakes up. You listen in on that delegate (giving yourself a radio and turning it on), and when you receive the message, you fire a new method called SayHi()). Your friend is also wired up to the same delegate (using an identical radio) and fires the method FluffPillow().Hopefully this makes sense, and helps shed some light on how delegates operate. Let me know! Feel free to drop me a line at Twitter (preferred method of contact) here: samerabousalbi

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