I've tried everything. Arrays are quite simple so I don't know why this doesn't function:

var menuList:Array = [menu_bag_mc,menu_chips_mc,menu_coke_mc,menu_cup_mc,menu_deodorant_mc,menu_fork_mc,menu_knife_mc,menu_lighter_mc,menu_milk_mc,menu_pill_mc,menu_rings_mc,menu_shampoo_mc,menu_spoon_mc,menu_straw_mc,menu_toothbrush_mc,menu_trashbag_mc,menu_water_mc];

function captureAllClicks(event:MouseEvent):void
{
    trace(menuList.indexOf(event.target));
}

stage.addEventListener(MouseEvent.CLICK, captureAllClicks);

Every time I click on any of the items on the stage (which are all given the instance names listed above. each is a tweening movieclip containing a button) I get a trace of -1. WHY?!