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  • TLS (STARTTLS) Failure After 10.6 Upgrade to Open Directory Master

    - by Thomas Kishel
    Hello, Environment: Mac OS X 10.6.3 install/import of a MacOS X 10.5.8 Open Directory Master server. After that upgrade, LDAP+TLS fails on our MacOS X 10.5, 10.6, CentOS, Debian, and FreeBSD clients (Apache2 and PAM). Testing using ldapsearch: ldapsearch -ZZ -H ldap://gnome.darkhorse.com -v -x -b "dc=darkhorse,dc=com" '(uid=donaldr)' uid ... fails with: ldap_start_tls: Protocol error (2) Testing adding "-d 9" fails with: res_errno: 2, res_error: <unsupported extended operation>, res_matched: <> Testing without requiring STARTTLS or with LDAPS: ldapsearch -H ldap://gnome.darkhorse.com -v -x -b "dc=darkhorse,dc=com" '(uid=donaldr)' uid ldapsearch -H ldaps://gnome.darkhorse.com -v -x -b "dc=darkhorse,dc=com" '(uid=donaldr)' uid ... succeeds with: # donaldr, users, darkhorse.com dn: uid=donaldr,cn=users,dc=darkhorse,dc=com uid: donaldr # search result search: 2 result: 0 Success # numResponses: 2 # numEntries: 1 result: 0 Success (We are specifying "TLS_REQCERT never" in /etc/openldap/ldap.conf) Testing with openssl: openssl s_client -connect gnome.darkhorse.com:636 -showcerts -state ... succeeds: CONNECTED(00000003) SSL_connect:before/connect initialization SSL_connect:SSLv2/v3 write client hello A SSL_connect:SSLv3 read server hello A depth=1 /C=US/ST=Oregon/L=Milwaukie/O=Dark Horse Comics, Inc./OU=Dark Horse Network/CN=DHC MIS Department verify error:num=19:self signed certificate in certificate chain verify return:0 SSL_connect:SSLv3 read server certificate A SSL_connect:SSLv3 read server done A SSL_connect:SSLv3 write client key exchange A SSL_connect:SSLv3 write change cipher spec A SSL_connect:SSLv3 write finished A SSL_connect:SSLv3 flush data SSL_connect:SSLv3 read finished A --- Certificate chain 0 s:/C=US/ST=Oregon/L=Milwaukie/O=Dark Horse Comics, Inc./OU=MIS/CN=gnome.darkhorse.com i:/C=US/ST=Oregon/L=Milwaukie/O=Dark Horse Comics, Inc./OU=Dark Horse Network/CN=DHC MIS Department 1 s:/C=US/ST=Oregon/L=Milwaukie/O=Dark Horse Comics, Inc./OU=Dark Horse Network/CN=DHC MIS Department i:/C=US/ST=Oregon/L=Milwaukie/O=Dark Horse Comics, Inc./OU=Dark Horse Network/CN=DHC MIS Department --- Server certificate -----BEGIN CERTIFICATE----- <deleted for brevity> -----END CERTIFICATE----- subject=/C=US/ST=Oregon/L=Milwaukie/O=Dark Horse Comics, Inc./OU=MIS/CN=gnome.darkhorse.com issuer=/C=US/ST=Oregon/L=Milwaukie/O=Dark Horse Comics, Inc./OU=Dark Horse Network/CN=DHC MIS Department --- No client certificate CA names sent --- SSL handshake has read 2640 bytes and written 325 bytes --- New, TLSv1/SSLv3, Cipher is AES256-SHA Server public key is 1024 bit Compression: NONE Expansion: NONE SSL-Session: Protocol : TLSv1 Cipher : AES256-SHA Session-ID: D3F9536D3C64BAAB9424193F81F09D5C53B7D8E7CB5A9000C58E43285D983851 Session-ID-ctx: Master-Key: E224CC065924DDA6FABB89DBCC3E6BF89BEF6C0BD6E5D0B3C79E7DE927D6E97BF12219053BA2BB5B96EA2F6A44E934D3 Key-Arg : None Start Time: 1271202435 Timeout : 300 (sec) Verify return code: 0 (ok) So we believe that the slapd daemon is reading our certificate and writing it to LDAP clients. Apple Server Admin adds ProgramArguments ("-h ldaps:///") to /System/Library/LaunchDaemons/org.openldap.slapd.plist and TLSCertificateFile, TLSCertificateKeyFile, TLSCACertificateFile, and TLSCertificatePassphraseTool to /etc/openldap/slapd_macosxserver.conf when enabling SSL in the LDAP section of the Open Directory service. While that appears enough for LDAPS, it appears that this is not enough for TLS. Comparing our 10.6 and 10.5 slapd.conf and slapd_macosxserver.conf configuration files yields no clues. Replacing our certificate (generated with a self-signed ca) with an Apple Server Admin generated self signed certificate results in no change in ldapsearch results. Setting -d to 256 in /System/Library/LaunchDaemons/org.openldap.slapd.plist logs: 4/13/10 5:23:35 PM org.openldap.slapd[82162] conn=384 op=0 EXT oid=1.3.6.1.4.1.1466.20037 4/13/10 5:23:35 PM org.openldap.slapd[82162] conn=384 op=0 do_extended: unsupported operation "1.3.6.1.4.1.1466.20037" 4/13/10 5:23:35 PM org.openldap.slapd[82162] conn=384 op=0 RESULT tag=120 err=2 text=unsupported extended operation Any debugging advice much appreciated. -- Tom Kishel

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  • centos6.3 varnish3.03 get the wrong backend

    - by Sola.Shawn
    I install varnish3.03 with yum! I got a problem with it my varnish config bellow:** # #backend weibo { .host = "192.168.1.178"; .port = "8080"; .connect_timeout=20s; .first_byte_timeout=20s; .between_bytes_timeout=20s; } #backend smth { .host = "192.168.1.115"; .port = "8080"; .connect_timeout=20s; .first_byte_timeout=20s; .between_bytes_timeout=20s; } #sub vcl_recv { if (req.restarts == 0) { if (req.http.x-forwarded-for) { set req.http.X-Forwarded-For = req.http.X-Forwarded-For + ", " + client.ip; } else { set req.http.X-Forwarded-For = client.ip; } } if (req.request != "GET" && req.request != "HEAD" && req.request != "PUT" && req.request != "POST" && req.request != "TRACE" && req.request != "OPTIONS" && req.request != "DELETE") { # /* Non-RFC2616 or CONNECT which is weird. */ return(pipe); } if (req.request != "GET" && req.request != "HEAD") { # /* We only deal with GET and HEAD by default */ return(pass); } if (req.http.Authorization || req.http.Cookie) { /* Not cacheable by default */ return(pass); } if (req.http.host ~ "^(hk.)?weibo.com"){ set req.http.host = "hk.weibo.com"; set req.backend = weibo; } elseif (req.http.host ~ "^(www.)?newsmth.net"){ set req.http.host = "www.newsmth.net"; set req.backend = smth; } else { error 404 "Unknown virtual host"; } return(lookup); } ##sub vcl_pipe { return(pipe); } #sub vcl_pass { return(pass); } #sub vcl_hash { hash_data(req.url); if(req.http.host) { hash_data(req.http.host); } else { hash_data(server.ip); } return(hash); } #sub vcl_hit { if(req.http.Cache-Control~"no-cache"||req.http.Cache-Control~"max-age=0"||req.http.Pragma~"no-cache"){ set obj.ttl=0s; return (restart); } return(deliver); } #sub vcl_miss { return(fetch); } #sub vcl_fetch { if (beresp.ttl <= 120s || beresp.http.Set-Cookie || beresp.http.Vary == "*") { /* * Mark as "Hit-For-Pass" for the next 2 minutes */ set beresp.ttl = 10s; return (hit_for_pass); } return(deliver); } #sub vcl_deliver { return(deliver); } #sub vcl_init { return(ok); } #sub vcl_fini { return(ok); } and my Win7's hosts file add bellow: 192.168.1.178 www.newsmth.net 192.168.1.178 hk.weibo.com start varnish varnishd -f /etc/varnish/dd.vcl -s malloc,100M -a 0.0.0.0:8000 -T 0.0.0.0:3500<br> but when I access the "hk.weibo.com:8000" it fine, and got: Hello,I am hk.weibo.com! but when access http://www.newsmth.net:8000/, got: Hello,I am hk.weibo.com! <br> My question is why it isn't "Hello,I am www.newsmth.net!"? varnish fetched the content from the wrong backend. Does anyone know how to fix this?

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  • Hanging of host network connections when starting KVM guest on bridge

    - by Chris Phillips
    Hi, I've a KVM system upon which I'm running a network bridge directly between all VM's and a bond0 (eth0, eth1) on the host OS. As such, all machines are presented on the same subnet, available outside of the box. The bond is doing mode 1 active / passive, with an arp_ip_target set to the default gateway, which has caused some issues in itself, but I can't see the bond configs mattering here myself. I'm seeing odd things most times when I stop and start a guest on the platform, in that on the host I lose network connectivity (icmp, ssh) for about 30 seconds. I don't lose connectivity on the other already running VM's though... they can always ping the default GW, but the host can't. I say "about 30 seconds" but from some tests it actually seems to be 28 seconds usually (or at least, I lose 28 pings...) and I'm wondering if this somehow relates to the bridge config. I'm not running STP on the bridge at all, and the forwarding delay is set to 1 second, path cost on the bond0 lowered to 10 and port priority of bond0 also lowered to 1. As such I don't think that the bridge should ever be able to think that bond0 is not connected just fine (as continued guest connectivity implies) yet the IP of the host, which is on the bridge device (... could that matter?? ) becomes unreachable. I'm fairly sure it's about the bridged networking, but at the same time as this happens when a VM is started there are clearly loads of other things also happening so maybe I'm way off the mark. Lack of connectivity: # ping 10.20.11.254 PING 10.20.11.254 (10.20.11.254) 56(84) bytes of data. 64 bytes from 10.20.11.254: icmp_seq=1 ttl=255 time=0.921 ms 64 bytes from 10.20.11.254: icmp_seq=2 ttl=255 time=0.541 ms type=1700 audit(1293462808.589:325): dev=vnet6 prom=256 old_prom=0 auid=42949672 95 ses=4294967295 type=1700 audit(1293462808.604:326): dev=vnet7 prom=256 old_prom=0 auid=42949672 95 ses=4294967295 type=1700 audit(1293462808.618:327): dev=vnet8 prom=256 old_prom=0 auid=42949672 95 ses=4294967295 kvm: 14116: cpu0 unimplemented perfctr wrmsr: 0x186 data 0x130079 kvm: 14116: cpu0 unimplemented perfctr wrmsr: 0xc1 data 0xffdd694a kvm: 14116: cpu0 unimplemented perfctr wrmsr: 0x186 data 0x530079 64 bytes from 10.20.11.254: icmp_seq=30 ttl=255 time=0.514 ms 64 bytes from 10.20.11.254: icmp_seq=31 ttl=255 time=0.551 ms 64 bytes from 10.20.11.254: icmp_seq=32 ttl=255 time=0.437 ms 64 bytes from 10.20.11.254: icmp_seq=33 ttl=255 time=0.392 ms brctl output of relevant bridge: # brctl showstp brdev brdev bridge id 8000.b2e1378d1396 designated root 8000.b2e1378d1396 root port 0 path cost 0 max age 19.99 bridge max age 19.99 hello time 1.99 bridge hello time 1.99 forward delay 0.99 bridge forward delay 0.99 ageing time 299.95 hello timer 0.50 tcn timer 0.00 topology change timer 0.00 gc timer 0.04 flags vnet5 (3) port id 8003 state forwarding designated root 8000.b2e1378d1396 path cost 100 designated bridge 8000.b2e1378d1396 message age timer 0.00 designated port 8003 forward delay timer 0.00 designated cost 0 hold timer 0.00 flags vnet0 (2) port id 8002 state forwarding designated root 8000.b2e1378d1396 path cost 100 designated bridge 8000.b2e1378d1396 message age timer 0.00 designated port 8002 forward delay timer 0.00 designated cost 0 hold timer 0.00 flags bond0 (1) port id 0001 state forwarding designated root 8000.b2e1378d1396 path cost 10 designated bridge 8000.b2e1378d1396 message age timer 0.00 designated port 0001 forward delay timer 0.00 designated cost 0 hold timer 0.00 flags I do see the new port listed as learning, but in line with the forward delay, only for 1 or 2 seconds when polling the brctl output on a loop. All pointers, tips or stabs in the dark appreciated.

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  • Cannot connect to website - SSL handshaking fails

    - by ravenspoint
    So I cannot connect to certain websites. Just a few, most are OK. The one I really care about is paypal.com. I have done the usual things. Let's see: Checked my etc/hosts Flushed the DNS cache Checked firewall Switched on & off virus protection Switched on and off ad blocking pinged the sites Eventually, I decided to look at what curl is saying in detail == Info: About to connect() to www.paypal.com port 443 (#0) == Info: Trying 66.211.169.2... == Info: connected == Info: SSLv3, TLS handshake, Client hello (1): => Send SSL data, 110 bytes (0x6e) 0000: 01 00 00 6a 03 01 4f 6c aa 8c 57 2b 3d 1e 74 64 ...j..Ol..W+=.td 0010: c1 27 25 a5 3a 12 7f 3f 41 0a 17 15 2e c9 67 7c .'%.:.?A.....g| 0020: b3 e1 f6 9a db a9 00 00 2a 00 39 00 38 00 35 00 ........*.9.8.5. 0030: 16 00 13 00 0a 00 33 00 32 00 2f 00 07 00 05 00 ......3.2./..... 0040: 04 00 15 00 12 00 09 00 14 00 11 00 08 00 06 00 ................ 0050: 03 00 ff 01 00 00 17 00 00 00 13 00 11 00 00 0e ................ 0060: 77 77 77 2e 70 61 79 70 61 6c 2e 63 6f 6d www.paypal.com (hangs here for ever) This looks to me like paypal is refusing to reply to the first SSL handshake. I don't know much about SSL, but compaing to the output from a site that works for me seems to make it obvious == Info: About to connect() to www.cibc.com port 443 (#0) == Info: Trying 159.231.80.200... == Info: connected == Info: SSLv3, TLS handshake, Client hello (1): => Send SSL data, 108 bytes (0x6c) 0000: 01 00 00 68 03 01 4f 6c ad 6a 1f 67 d5 84 c4 4b ...h..Ol.j.g...K 0010: 0d 49 ae d6 b9 5b c3 63 f9 48 aa 18 da 43 d1 32 .I...[.c.H...C.2 0020: 47 ae 17 e5 cd e9 00 00 2a 00 39 00 38 00 35 00 G.......*.9.8.5. 0030: 16 00 13 00 0a 00 33 00 32 00 2f 00 07 00 05 00 ......3.2./..... 0040: 04 00 15 00 12 00 09 00 14 00 11 00 08 00 06 00 ................ 0050: 03 00 ff 01 00 00 15 00 00 00 11 00 0f 00 00 0c ................ 0060: 77 77 77 2e 63 69 62 63 2e 63 6f 6d www.cibc.com == Info: SSLv3, TLS handshake, Server hello (2): <= Recv SSL data, 74 bytes (0x4a) 0000: 02 00 00 46 03 01 00 00 58 cf 26 e2 e1 65 db 11 ...F....X.&..e.. 0010: bc 6f 26 7b 3b 6d eb 14 5f ad 47 dd 86 ea 4d a3 .o&{;m.._.G...M. 0020: fb 9f b7 2a 54 3e 20 5f 6b 04 5a 12 38 64 5d 18 ...*T> _k.Z.8d]. 0030: 65 9e e9 cd 61 eb 91 c1 16 25 61 30 bb 08 2a 78 e...a....%a0..*x 0040: b8 ee b8 7e f2 65 6a 00 04 00 ...~.ej... == Info: SSLv3, TLS handshake, CERT (11): ... and so on - working nicely eventually get some nice HTML Now I am reaaly stuck. This has been going on for five days, so I am pretty sure that the problem is not with paypal. But what on my system could be interfering with the SSL handshaking done by curl with this particular site? I suppose I could not be offering any certificates that PayPal accepts, but wouldn't I get a reply telling me so, or at least giving an error?

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  • TCP stops sending weirdly.

    - by Utoah
    In case to find out the cause of TCP retransmits on my Linux (RHEL, kernel 2.6.18) servers connecting to the same switch. I had a client-server pair send "Hello" to each other every 200us and captured the packets with tcpdump on the client machine. The command I used to mimic client and server are: while [ 0 ]; do echo "Hello"; usleep 200; done | nc server 18510 while [ 0 ]; do echo "Hello"; usleep 200; done | nc -l 18510 When the server machine was busy serving some other requests, the client suffered from abrupt retransmits occasionally. But the output of tcpdump seemed irrational. 16:04:58.898970 IP server.18510 > client.34533: P 4531:4537(6) ack 3204 win 123 <nop,nop,timestamp 1923778643 3452833828> 16:04:58.901797 IP client.34533 > server.18510: P 3204:3210(6) ack 4537 win 33 <nop,nop,timestamp 3452833831 1923778643> 16:04:58.901855 IP server.18510 > client.34533: P 4537:4549(12) ack 3210 win 123 <nop,nop,timestamp 1923778646 3452833831> 16:04:58.903871 IP client.34533 > server.18510: P 3210:3216(6) ack 4549 win 33 <nop,nop,timestamp 3452833833 1923778646> 16:04:58.903950 IP server.18510 > client.34533: P 4549:4555(6) ack 3216 win 123 <nop,nop,timestamp 1923778648 3452833833> 16:04:58.905796 IP client.34533 > server.18510: P 3216:3222(6) ack 4555 win 33 <nop,nop,timestamp 3452833835 1923778648> 16:04:58.905860 IP server.18510 > client.34533: P 4555:4561(6) ack 3222 win 123 <nop,nop,timestamp 1923778650 3452833835> 16:04:58.908903 IP client.34533 > server.18510: P 3222:3228(6) ack 4561 win 33 <nop,nop,timestamp 3452833838 1923778650> 16:04:58.908966 IP server.18510 > client.34533: P 4561:4567(6) ack 3228 win 123 <nop,nop,timestamp 1923778653 3452833838> 16:04:58.911855 IP client.34533 > server.18510: P 3228:3234(6) ack 4567 win 33 <nop,nop,timestamp 3452833841 1923778653> 16:04:59.112573 IP client.34533 > server.18510: P 3228:3234(6) ack 4567 win 33 <nop,nop,timestamp 3452834042 1923778653> 16:04:59.112648 IP server.18510 > client.34533: P 4567:5161(594) ack 3234 win 123 <nop,nop,timestamp 1923778857 3452834042> 16:04:59.112659 IP client.34533 > server.18510: P 3234:3672(438) ack 5161 win 35 <nop,nop,timestamp 3452834042 1923778857> 16:04:59.114427 IP server.18510 > client.34533: P 5161:5167(6) ack 3672 win 126 <nop,nop,timestamp 1923778858 3452834042> 16:04:59.114439 IP client.34533 > server.18510: P 3672:3678(6) ack 5167 win 35 <nop,nop,timestamp 3452834044 1923778858> 16:04:59.116435 IP server.18510 > client.34533: P 5167:5173(6) ack 3678 win 126 <nop,nop,timestamp 1923778860 3452834044> 16:04:59.116444 IP client.34533 > server.18510: P 3678:3684(6) ack 5173 win 35 <nop,nop,timestamp 3452834046 1923778860> Packet 3228:3234(6) from client was retransmitted due to ack timeout. What I could not understand was that the client machine did not send out any packets after the first 3228:3234(6) packets was sent. The server machine had advertised a window (scaled) large enough. The data transfer up to the retransmit was fine which meant no slow start should be in action. What can cause the client machine to stop sending until the packet timed out? BTW, I am unable to run tcpdump on the server machine.

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  • SQL Server Configuration timeouts - and a workaround [SSIS]

    - by jamiet
    Ever since I started writing SSIS packages back in 2004 I have opted to store configurations in .dtsConfig (.i.e. XML) files rather than in a SQL Server table (aka SQL Server Configurations) however recently I inherited some packages that used SQL Server Configurations and thus had to immerse myself in their murky little world. To all the people that have ever gone onto the SSIS forum and asked questions about ambiguous behaviour of SQL Server Configurations I now say this... I feel your pain! The biggest problem I have had was in dealing with the change to the order in which configurations get applied that came about in SSIS 2008. Those changes are detailed on MSDN at SSIS Package Configurations however the pertinent bits are: As the utility loads and runs the package, events occur in the following order: The dtexec utility loads the package. The utility applies the configurations that were specified in the package at design time and in the order that is specified in the package. (The one exception to this is the Parent Package Variables configurations. The utility applies these configurations only once and later in the process.) The utility then applies any options that you specified on the command line. The utility then reloads the configurations that were specified in the package at design time and in the order specified in the package. (Again, the exception to this rule is the Parent Package Variables configurations). The utility uses any command-line options that were specified to reload the configurations. Therefore, different values might be reloaded from a different location. The utility applies the Parent Package Variable configurations. The utility runs the package. To understand how these steps differ from SSIS 2005 I recommend reading Doug Laudenschlager’s blog post Understand how SSIS package configurations are applied. The very nature of SQL Server Configurations means that the Connection String for the database holding the configuration values needs to be supplied from the command-line. Typically then the call to execute your package resembles this: dtexec /FILE Package.dtsx /SET "\Package.Connections[SSISConfigurations].Properties[ConnectionString]";"\"Data Source=SomeServer;Initial Catalog=SomeDB;Integrated Security=SSPI;\"", The problem then is that, as per the steps above, the package will (1) attempt to apply all configurations using the Connection String stored in the package for the "SSISConfigurations" Connection Manager before then (2) applying the Connection String from the command-line and then (3) apply the same configurations all over again. In the packages that I inherited that first attempt to apply the configurations would timeout (not unexpected); I had 8 SQL Server Configurations in the package and thus the package was waiting for 2 minutes until all the Configurations timed out (i.e. 15seconds per Configuration) - in a package that only executes for ~8seconds when it gets to do its actual work a delay of 2minutes was simply unacceptable. We had three options in how to deal with this: Get rid of the use of SQL Server configurations and use .dtsConfig files instead Edit the packages when they get deployed Change the timeout on the "SSISConfigurations" Connection Manager #1 was my preferred choice but, for reasons I explain below*, wasn't an option in this particular instance. #2 was discounted out of hand because it negates the point of using Configurations in the first place. This left us with #3 - change the timeout on the Connection Manager. This is done by going into the properties of the Connection Manager, opening the "All" tab and changing the Connect Timeout property to some suitable value (in the screenshot below I chose 2 seconds). This change meant that the attempts to apply the SQL Server configurations timed out in 16 seconds rather than two minutes; clearly this isn't an optimum solution but its certainly better than it was. So there you have it - if you are having problems with SQL Server configuration timeouts within SSIS try changing the timeout of the Connection Manager. Better still - don't bother using SQL Server Configuration in the first place. Even better - install RC0 of SQL Server 2012 to start leveraging SSIS parameters and leave the nasty old world of configurations behind you. @Jamiet * Basically, we are leveraging a SSIS execution/logging framework in which the client had invested a lot of resources and SQL Server Configurations are an integral part of that.

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  • Sun Fire X4270 M3 SAP Enhancement Package 4 for SAP ERP 6.0 (Unicode) Two-Tier Standard Sales and Distribution (SD) Benchmark

    - by Brian
    Oracle's Sun Fire X4270 M3 server achieved 8,320 SAP SD Benchmark users running SAP enhancement package 4 for SAP ERP 6.0 with unicode software using Oracle Database 11g and Oracle Solaris 10. The Sun Fire X4270 M3 server using Oracle Database 11g and Oracle Solaris 10 beat both IBM Flex System x240 and IBM System x3650 M4 server running DB2 9.7 and Windows Server 2008 R2 Enterprise Edition. The Sun Fire X4270 M3 server running Oracle Database 11g and Oracle Solaris 10 beat the HP ProLiant BL460c Gen8 server using SQL Server 2008 and Windows Server 2008 R2 Enterprise Edition by 6%. The Sun Fire X4270 M3 server using Oracle Database 11g and Oracle Solaris 10 beat Cisco UCS C240 M3 server running SQL Server 2008 and Windows Server 2008 R2 Datacenter Edition by 9%. The Sun Fire X4270 M3 server running Oracle Database 11g and Oracle Solaris 10 beat the Fujitsu PRIMERGY RX300 S7 server using SQL Server 2008 and Windows Server 2008 R2 Enterprise Edition by 10%. Performance Landscape SAP-SD 2-Tier Performance Table (in decreasing performance order). SAP ERP 6.0 Enhancement Pack 4 (Unicode) Results (benchmark version from January 2009 to April 2012) System OS Database Users SAPERP/ECCRelease SAPS SAPS/Proc Date Sun Fire X4270 M3 2xIntel Xeon E5-2690 @2.90GHz 128 GB Oracle Solaris 10 Oracle Database 11g 8,320 20096.0 EP4(Unicode) 45,570 22,785 10-Apr-12 IBM Flex System x240 2xIntel Xeon E5-2690 @2.90GHz 128 GB Windows Server 2008 R2 EE DB2 9.7 7,960 20096.0 EP4(Unicode) 43,520 21,760 11-Apr-12 HP ProLiant BL460c Gen8 2xIntel Xeon E5-2690 @2.90GHz 128 GB Windows Server 2008 R2 EE SQL Server 2008 7,865 20096.0 EP4(Unicode) 42,920 21,460 29-Mar-12 IBM System x3650 M4 2xIntel Xeon E5-2690 @2.90GHz 128 GB Windows Server 2008 R2 EE DB2 9.7 7,855 20096.0 EP4(Unicode) 42,880 21,440 06-Mar-12 Cisco UCS C240 M3 2xIntel Xeon E5-2690 @2.90GHz 128 GB Windows Server 2008 R2 DE SQL Server 2008 7,635 20096.0 EP4(Unicode) 41,800 20,900 06-Mar-12 Fujitsu PRIMERGY RX300 S7 2xIntel Xeon E5-2690 @2.90GHz 128 GB Windows Server 2008 R2 EE SQL Server 2008 7,570 20096.0 EP4(Unicode) 41,320 20,660 06-Mar-12 Complete benchmark results may be found at the SAP benchmark website http://www.sap.com/benchmark. Configuration and Results Summary Hardware Configuration: Sun Fire X4270 M3 2 x 2.90 GHz Intel Xeon E5-2690 processors 128 GB memory Sun StorageTek 6540 with 4 * 16 * 300GB 15Krpm 4Gb FC-AL Software Configuration: Oracle Solaris 10 Oracle Database 11g SAP enhancement package 4 for SAP ERP 6.0 (Unicode) Certified Results (published by SAP): Number of benchmark users: 8,320 Average dialog response time: 0.95 seconds Throughput: Fully processed order line: 911,330 Dialog steps/hour: 2,734,000 SAPS: 45,570 SAP Certification: 2012014 Benchmark Description The SAP Standard Application SD (Sales and Distribution) Benchmark is a two-tier ERP business test that is indicative of full business workloads of complete order processing and invoice processing, and demonstrates the ability to run both the application and database software on a single system. The SAP Standard Application SD Benchmark represents the critical tasks performed in real-world ERP business environments. SAP is one of the premier world-wide ERP application providers, and maintains a suite of benchmark tests to demonstrate the performance of competitive systems on the various SAP products. See Also SAP Benchmark Website Sun Fire X4270 M3 Server oracle.com OTN Oracle Solaris oracle.com OTN Oracle Database 11g Release 2 Enterprise Edition oracle.com OTN Disclosure Statement Two-tier SAP Sales and Distribution (SD) standard SAP SD benchmark based on SAP enhancement package 4 for SAP ERP 6.0 (Unicode) application benchmark as of 04/11/12: Sun Fire X4270 M3 (2 processors, 16 cores, 32 threads) 8,320 SAP SD Users, 2 x 2.90 GHz Intel Xeon E5-2690, 128 GB memory, Oracle 11g, Solaris 10, Cert# 2012014. IBM Flex System x240 (2 processors, 16 cores, 32 threads) 7,960 SAP SD Users, 2 x 2.90 GHz Intel Xeon E5-2690, 128 GB memory, DB2 9.7, Windows Server 2008 R2 EE, Cert# 2012016. IBM System x3650 M4 (2 processors, 16 cores, 32 threads) 7,855 SAP SD Users, 2 x 2.90 GHz Intel Xeon E5-2690, 128 GB memory, DB2 9.7, Windows Server 2008 R2 EE, Cert# 2012010. Cisco UCS C240 M3 (2 processors, 16 cores, 32 threads) 7,635 SAP SD Users, 2 x 2.90 GHz Intel Xeon E5-2690, 128 GB memory, SQL Server 2008, Windows Server 2008 R2 DE, Cert# 2012011. Fujitsu PRIMERGY RX300 S7 (2 processors, 16 cores, 32 threads) 7,570 SAP SD Users, 2 x 2.90 GHz Intel Xeon E5-2690, 128 GB memory, SQL Server 2008, Windows Server 2008 R2 EE, Cert# 2012008. HP ProLiant DL380p Gen8 (2 processors, 16 cores, 32 threads) 7,865 SAP SD Users, 2 x 2.90 GHz Intel Xeon E5-2690, 128 GB memory, SQL Server 2008, Windows Server 2008 R2 EE, Cert# 2012012. SAP, R/3, reg TM of SAP AG in Germany and other countries. More info www.sap.com/benchmark

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  • Looking into ASP.Net MVC 4.0 Mobile Development - part 1

    - by nikolaosk
    In this post I will be looking how ASP.Net MVC 4.0 helps us to create web solutions that target mobile devices.We all experience the magic that is the World Wide Web through mobile devices. Millions of people around the world, use tablets and smartphones to view the contents of websites,e-shops and portals.ASP.Net MVC 4.0 includes a new mobile project template and the ability to render a different set of views for different types of devices.There is a new feature that is called browser overriding which allows us to control exactly what a user is going to see from your web application regardless of what type of device he is using.In order to follow along this post you must have Visual Studio 2012 and .Net Framework 4.5 installed in your machine.Download and install VS 2012 using this link.My machine runs on Windows 8 and Visual Studio 2012 works just fine.It will work fine in Windows 7 as well so do not worry if you do not have the latest Microsoft operating system.1) Launch VS 2012 and create a new Web Forms application by going to File - >New Project - > ASP.Net MVC 4 Web Application and then click OKHave a look at the picture below  2) From the available templates select Mobile Application and then click OK.Have a look at the picture below 3) When I run the application I get the mobile view of the page. I would like to show you what a typical ASP.Net MVC 4.0 application looks like. So I will create a new simple ASP.Net MVC 4.0 Web Application. When I run the application I get the normal page view.Have a look at the picture below.On the left is the mobile view and on the right the normal view. As you can see we have more or less the same content in our mobile application (log in,register) compared with the normal ASP.Net MVC 4.0 application but it is optimised for mobile devices. 4) Let me explain how and when the mobile view is selected and finally rendered.There is a feature in MVC 4.0 that is called Display Modes and with this feature the runtime will select a view.If we have 2 views e.g contact.mobile.cshtml and contact.cshtml in our application the Controller at some point will instruct the runtime to select and render a view named contact.The runtime will look at the browser making the request and will determine if it is a mobile browser or a desktop browser. So if there is a request from my IPhone Safari browser for a particular site, if there is a mobile view the MVC 4.0 will select it and render it. If there is not a mobile view, the normal view will be rendered.5) In the  ASP.Net MVC 4.0 (Internet application) I created earlier (not the first project which was a mobile one) I can run it once more and see how it looks on the browser. If I want to view it with a mobile browser I must download one emulator like Opera Mobile.You can download Opera Mobile hereWhen I run the application I get the same view in both the desktop and the mobile browser. That was to be expected. Have a look at the picture below 6) Then I create another version of the _Layout.mobile.cshtml view in the Shared folder.I simply copy and paste the _Layout.cshtml  into the same folder and then rename it to _Layout.mobile.cshtml and then just alter the contents of the _Layout.mobile.cshtml.When I run again the application I get a different view on the desktop browser and a different one on the Opera mobile browser.Have a look at the picture below ?he Controller will instruct the ASP.Net runtime to select and render a view named _Layout.mobile.cshtml when the request will come from a mobile browser.?he runtime knows that a browser is a mobile one through the ASP.Net browser capability provider. Hope it helps!!!

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  • Oracle Virtualization at Oracle OpenWorld 2012

    - by Chris Kawalek
    Mini-Series Entry 1 of 3: Hands-On Virtualization This is the first entry of a 3 part mini-series aimed at highlighting server and desktop virtualization at this year’s Oracle OpenWorld.  Oracle OpenWorld 2012 is fast approaching! If you are as excited as we are about the fascinating new Oracle virtualization content featured at Oracle OpenWorld 2012, you won’t want to miss this blog mini-series. We will be highlighting sessions that cover advances and innovations in our products, our product strategy and roadmap, and hands on labs for step-by-step instructions from our field and product experts. In the blog mini-series you will learn about: The Oracle Virtualization general keynote session Hands-on labs  Key Oracle server and desktop virtualization sessions In this entry, we will cover the Oracle Virtualization keynote session and the hands-on labs you won't want to miss. General Session: Oracle Virtualization Strategy and Roadmap Session ID: GEN8725 Oracle offers the industry’s most complete and integrated virtualization portfolio enabling organizations to realize benefits beyond simple consolidation as they transform their data centers into flexible cloud-based infrastructures. Join Oracle executives and experts to learn about Oracle’s desktop-to-data-center virtualization solutions, such as the OS, with built-in management integration at all layers that can help you virtualize and manage the complete computing environment, from physical servers to virtual servers and applications. This “don’t-miss” session offers details of the latest product updates and strategy; product roadmaps; integration with enterprise applications; and real-world examples of how Oracle server, desktop, and storage virtualization is benefiting customers. Here are our top picks for Hands-On Labs for Oracle OpenWorld 2012: Oracle Virtual Desktop Infrastructure Performance and Tablet Mobility Session ID: HOL9907 This hands-on lab demonstrates the performance (using an industry-standard load tester) and roaming capabilities of Oracle Virtual Desktop Infrastructure with Oracle’s Sun Ray Clients, Apple iPad and other clients. Deploying an IaaS Environment with Oracle VM: Hands-On Lab  Session ID: HOL9558 This hands-on lab takes you through the planning and deployment of an infrastructure as a service (IaaS) environment with Oracle VM as the foundation. It covers a range of topics, from planning storage capacity, LUN creation, network bandwidth planning, and best practices to designing and streamlining the environment for ease of management. Learn from deeply experienced field engineers and product experts. Virtualize and Deploy Oracle Applications in Minutes with Oracle VM: Hands-On Lab Session ID: HOL9559 This hands-on lab is for application architects or system administrators who will need to deploy and manage Oracle Applications. You’ll learn how Oracle VM Templates can turn you into a power user who can virtualize and deploy complex Oracle Applications in minutes. Longtime field-experienced engineers and product experts will show you, step by step, how to download and import templates and deploy the applications. x86 Enterprise Cloud Infrastructure with Oracle VM 3.x and Sun ZFS Storage Appliance Session ID: HOL9870 The purpose of this hands-on lab is to demonstrate the functionality and usage of Oracle’s enterprise cloud infrastructure for x86 with Oracle VM 3.x. It covers:  Creation of VMs Migration of VMs  Quick and easy deployment of Oracle applications with Oracle VM Templates  Usage of the Storage Connect plug-in for the Sun ZFS Storage Appliance You can find these and other great sessions on the Oracle OpenWorld 2012 Content Catalogue. Start checking now to better plan and organize your week at the conference. Then you’ll be ready to sign up for all of your sessions in mid-July when the scheduling tool goes live. While the hands-on labs allow you to directly interact with Oracle virtualization products, the conference sessions allow you to hear from a wide variety of industry experts on how they're using they technology in real world deployments, solving specific challenges, and more. In tomorrow's entry, we'll start talking about the many conference sessions related to Oracle server and desktop virtualization you can attend during the show. See you then! - The Oracle Virtualization marketing team

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  • This Week in Geek History: Gmail Goes Public, Deep Blue Wins at Chess, and the Birth of Thomas Edison

    - by Jason Fitzpatrick
    Every week we bring you a snapshot of the week in Geek History. This week we’re taking a peek at the public release of Gmail, the first time a computer won against a chess champion, and the birth of prolific inventor Thomas Edison. Gmail Goes Public It’s hard to believe that Gmail has only been around for seven years and that for the first three years of its life it was invite only. In 2007 Gmail dropped the invite only requirement (although they would hold onto the “beta” tag for another two years) and opened its doors for anyone to grab a username @gmail. For what seemed like an entire epoch in internet history Gmail had the slickest web-based email around with constant innovations and features rolling out from Gmail Labs. Only in the last year or so have major overhauls at competitors like Hotmail and Yahoo! Mail brought other services up to speed. Can’t stand reading a Week in Geek History entry without a random fact? Here you go: gmail.com was originally owned by the Garfield franchise and ran a service that delivered Garfield comics to your email inbox. No, we’re not kidding. Deep Blue Proves Itself a Chess Master Deep Blue was a super computer constructed by IBM with the sole purpose of winning chess matches. In 2011 with the all seeing eye of Google and the amazing computational abilities of engines like Wolfram Alpha we simply take powerful computers immersed in our daily lives for granted. The 1996 match against reigning world chest champion Garry Kasparov where in Deep Blue held its own, but ultimately lost, in a  4-2 match shook a lot of people up. What did it mean if something that was considered such an elegant and quintessentially human endeavor such as chess was so easy for a machine? A series of upgrades helped Deep Blue outright win a match against Kasparov in 1997 (seen in the photo above). After the win Deep Blue was retired and disassembled. Parts of Deep Blue are housed in the National Museum of History and the Computer History Museum. Birth of Thomas Edison Thomas Alva Edison was one of the most prolific inventors in history and holds an astounding 1,093 US Patents. He is responsible for outright inventing or greatly refining major innovations in the history of world culture including the phonograph, the movie camera, the carbon microphone used in nearly every telephone well into the 1980s, batteries for electric cars (a notion we’d take over a century to take seriously), voting machines, and of course his enormous contribution to electric distribution systems. Despite the role of scientist and inventor being largely unglamorous, Thomas Edison and his tumultuous relationship with fellow inventor Nikola Tesla have been fodder for everything from books, to comics, to movies, and video games. Other Notable Moments from This Week in Geek History Although we only shine the spotlight on three interesting facts a week in our Geek History column, that doesn’t mean we don’t have space to highlight a few more in passing. This week in Geek History: 1971 – Apollo 14 returns to Earth after third Lunar mission. 1974 – Birth of Robot Chicken creator Seth Green. 1986 – Death of Dune creator Frank Herbert. Goodnight Dune. 1997 – Simpsons becomes longest running animated show on television. Have an interesting bit of geek trivia to share? Shoot us an email to [email protected] with “history” in the subject line and we’ll be sure to add it to our list of trivia. Latest Features How-To Geek ETC Here’s a Super Simple Trick to Defeating Fake Anti-Virus Malware How to Change the Default Application for Android Tasks Stop Believing TV’s Lies: The Real Truth About "Enhancing" Images The How-To Geek Valentine’s Day Gift Guide Inspire Geek Love with These Hilarious Geek Valentines RGB? CMYK? Alpha? What Are Image Channels and What Do They Mean? Clean Up Google Calendar’s Interface in Chrome and Iron The Rise and Fall of Kramerica? [Seinfeld Video] GNOME Shell 3 Live CDs for OpenSUSE and Fedora Available for Testing Picplz Offers Special FX, Sharing, and Backup of Your Smartphone Pics BUILD! An Epic LEGO Stop Motion Film [VIDEO] The Lingering Glow of Sunset over a Winter Landscape Wallpaper

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  • Book Review: Middleware Management with Oracle Enterprise Manager Grid Control 10g R5

    - by olaf.heimburger
    When you are familar with the Oracle Database and Middleware stack, chances are that you came across the Enterprise Manager. It comes in many versions for the database or the middleware and differs in its features. If meet someone who talks about Enterprise Manager, it might be possible that this person is talking about something completely different - Enterprise Manager Grid Control. Enterprise Manager Grid Control is the Oracle product for the data center that monitors all databases - and middleware components as well as operating systems. Since the database part is taken for granted, is needs some additional steps to get into the world of centralized middleware management. That's what this book is for - bringing you in the world of middleware management. The Authors This book is written by Debu Panda, former Product Management Director of the Oracle Fusion Middleware Management development team, and Arvind Maheshwari, Senior Software Development Manager of the Oracle Enterprise Manager development team. The Book Oracle Enterprise Manager conceptionally works for many different management areas. As a user you often think of managing databases with it. This is a wide area and deserves another book. The least known area is the middleware management and that's what the booked aimes for. The first 3 chapters cover the key features of Enterprise Manager Grid Control, Installing Enterprise Manager Grid Control, and Enterprise Manager Key Concepts and Subsystems. The foundation you need to understand the whole software and the following chapters. Read them in order and you are well prepared for the next 10 chapters on managing the various bits and pieces in your data center. The list of bits and pieces is always a surprise, no matter how often you open the book. You can manage Oracle WebLogic Server, Oracle Application Server, Oracle Forms and Reports Services, SOA Suite 10g, Oracle Service Bus 10g, Oracle Internet Directory, Oracle Virtual Directory, Oracle Access Manager, Oracle Identity Manager, Oracle Identity Federation, Oracle Coherence Cluster, Non-Oracle Middleware like Apache, Tomcat, JBoss, OBM WebSphere and much much more. The chapters for these components can be read in any order you like, you only need the foundation chapters and continue with the parts in your data center. Once you are done with them, don't forget to read the last chapter, Best Practices for Managing Middleware Components using Enterprise Manager. Read it, understand it, and implement it in your organization. This will save you valueable time and budget. Recommendation This book is mainly written for the Enterprise Manager newbies and saves you a lot of time while going through the standard product documentation. All chapters are considerable short and tell exactly what need to know to get started with. Nothing more and nothing less. That's the beauty of it and why I love it. Due to its limitation it will cover everything you'd like to know, but it gets you started and interested for more insights. But that is the job of the product documentation. The Details Title Middleware Management with Oracle Enterprise Manager Grid Control 10g R5 Authors Debu Panda and Arvind Maheshwari Paperback 310 pages ISBN 13 978-1-847198-34-1

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  • You Might Be a DBA

    - by BuckWoody
    With all apologies to Jeff Foxworthy, I was up late Friday night on a holiday weekend (which translated into T-SQL becomes “Maintenance Window”) and I got bored in between the two or three minutes I had between clicks. So I started a “Twitter” meme – and it just took off. I haven’t cleaned these up much, but here, in author order as of Saturday the 29th of May is the list “You might be a DBA” from around the Twitterverse: buckwoody Your two main enemies are developers and SAN admins #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody People can use Access as a cross or garlic on you #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You always plan an exit strategy, even when entering a McDonald's #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You can't explain to your family what you really do for a living #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have at least one set of scripts you won't share #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have an opinion on the best code-beautifier #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have children older than the rest of your team #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You and the Oracle DBA would kill each other, but you'll happily fight off a developer together first #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've threatened to quit if they give anyone the sa password on production #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've sent a vendor suggestions on improving their database design or code (and been ignored) #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've sent a vendor suggestions on improving their database design or code (and been ignored) #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have an opinion on the best code-beautifier #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have at least one set of scripts you won't share #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You refer to co-workers as "carbon-units" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Being paranoid is on your resume at the top #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Everyone comes to your cube to find the MSDN DVD's #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You always plan an exit strategy, even when entering a McDonald's #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've worn down developers to get your way by explaining normalization levels #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You refer to clothes as "Data Abstractions" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Users pester you to be able to put data in a database, then they pester you to take it out and put it in Excel #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Others try to de-duplicate data, you try to copy it to more than three locations #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have at least one DLT tape in the trunk of your car #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You use twitter and facebook to talk with colleagues because there's no one else in your company that does what you do #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your spouse knows what "ETL" means #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've referred to yourself as the "Data Janitor" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You don't have positive connotations of the word "upgrade" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You get your coffee before you check your servers, because you know you won't get any if you don't #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You always come to work through the back door so no one hijacks you on the way to your cube #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You check your server logs before you check your e-mail in the morning so you can reply "Yeah, I already fixed that." #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have more conference badges than clean socks #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your coffee mug says "It depends" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You can convince a boss that you need 16GB of RAM in your laptop #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've used ebay to find production equipment #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You pad all project timelines by 2X, and you still miss them #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know when your company is acquiring another even before the CFO #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You pad all project timelines by 2X, and you still miss them #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You call aspirin "work vitamins" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You get the same amount of sleep even after you have a child #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You obsess about performance metrics from over one year ago #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody The first thing you buy after the database software is aftermarket tools to manage the database software #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've tried to convince someone else to become a DBA #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You use twitter and facebook to talk with colleagues because there's no one else in your company that does what you do #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You only know other DBA's by their Tweet Handle #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've explained the difference between 32 and 64-bit to more than one manager in terms they can understand, using puppets #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your two main enemies are developers and SAN admins #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've driven to the Datacenter to install SQL Server because "you don't trust those NOC admins" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You pay more for faster Internet connections than cable at home so you don't have to drive in #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You call texting a "queuing system" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know that if someone can read Perl, they manage an Oracle system #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have an e-mail rule for backup notifications #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your food pyramid includes coffee, salt and fat #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You wish everything had a graphical query plan #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You refactor your e-mails #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've gotten more help from twitter and facebook than all your years in college #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You would pay money for a license plate that has the letters S-Q-L together #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have actually considered making a RAID array from thumb drives #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Everything on your laptop is installed from your MSDN subscription #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've written blog posts on technology you've never actually implemented in production #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Everything on your laptop is installed from your MSDN subscription #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody @MidnightDBA Click the #youmightbeaDBA tag. I've had WAY too much coffee today.  buckwoody There is no other position that is 1-deep except you and the CEO #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody When you watch "The Office" you call it "OJT" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You would pay money for a license plate that has the letters S-Q-L together #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your blog would make a "best practices" or "worst practices" book #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You have actually considered making a RAID array from thumb drives #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody The first thing you install on your netbook is SSMS #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Everything on your laptop is installed from your MSDN subscription #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your watch is set to UTC because it's just easier #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You make plenty of money, but you're excited to get a $2.00 squeeze-ball from Quest and Redgate #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You make plenty of money, but you're excited to get a $2.00 squeeze-ball from Quest and Redgate #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You think data can be represented as something OTHER than XML #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You tell people that you made a database query go faster, and expect them to be happy for you #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You take the word "NoSQL" as a personal attack #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody People can use Access as a cross or garlic on you #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody * == bad #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody * == bad #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody There are just as many females in your technical field as males #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody People can use Access as a cross or garlic on you #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've gotten more help from twitter and facebook than all your years in college #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You think that something OTHER than the database might be the performance bottleneck #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You refer to time as a "Clustered Index" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know why "user" refers to both business people and crack addicts #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You make plenty of money, but you're excited to get a $2.00 squeeze-ball from Quest and Redgate #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You can't explain to your family what you really do for a living #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You tell people that you made a database query go faster, and expect them to be happy for you #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You think a millisecond is a really long time #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You're sitting and typing #youmightbeaDBA when you could be outside #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You can't wait for a technical conference so you can wear a kilt - and you're not Scottish #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know that "DBA" stands for "Default Blame Acceptor" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody People can use Access as a cross or garlic on you #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know what "the truth, thole truth and nothing but the truth, so help me Codd" means #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've gotten more help from twitter and facebook than all your years in college #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You can't talk fast enough to get a concept out of your head so you tweet it instead #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You cry when someone doesn't use a WHERE clause #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You think data can be represented as something OTHER than XML #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You think "Set theory" is not an verb but a noun #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You try to convince random strangers to vote on your Connect item #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You think 3 hours of contiguous sleep is a good thing #youmightbeaDBA or #youmightbeamother  buckwoody You don't like Oracle, and not just because of what she did to Neo #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know when to say "sequel" and "s-q-l" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know where the data is #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You refer to your children as "Fully Redundant Mirrors" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Holiday == "Maintenance Window" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your laptop is more powerful than the servers in most companies - including your own #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You capitalize SELECTed words #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You take the word "NoSQL" as a personal attack #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You know why "user" refers to both business people and crack addicts #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You cringe in public when the word "upgrade" is used in a sentence #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Holiday == "Maintenance Window" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody All Data Is MetaData means something to you #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You've never seen the driveway to your house in the daylight #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You think that something OTHER than the database might be the performance bottleneck #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Most of your bloodstream is composed of caffeine #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody Your task list is labeled "CRUD Matrix" #youmightbeaDBA  buckwoody You call your wife/husband a "Linked Server" #youmightbeaDBA  anonythemouse When someone tells you they are going to take a dump and you wonder of which database then #youmightbeaDBA  anonythemouse When it's 11pm on a holiday weekend and you are working #youmightbeaDBA  anonythemouse When you sit down at a table and look for it's primary key #youmightbeaDBA  anonythemouse When getting milk from the fridge you check the expiry date is > getdate() #youmightbeaDBA  blakmk when you wake up dreaming about sql #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver You think a @buckwoody bobblehead would be a cool thing to have on the dashboard of your car #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver Your friends don't understand why you think there's a difference between single and double quotes #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver Even the newest employees know your name from all the downtime notices you've sent out #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver You sometimes feel anxious and think "I should test restoring those backups" and then the feeling passes #youmightbeadba  CharlesGarver You know what a co-worker means when they ask "how is your squirrel server?" #youmightbeadba  CharlesGarver You can't sleep at night and you ponder the logisitcs of collecting every copy of Access for the world's biggest bonfire #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver You can't sleep at night and you ponder the logisitcs of collecting every copy of Access for the world's biggest bonfire #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver You're willing to move someone's job up in priority for a box of #voodoodonuts #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver Each person in your company seems to think you work for THEM #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver You have a Love/Hate relationship going on with #Microsoft #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver People ask you to troubleshoot their Access program #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver The first words you hear in the morning are 'your voicemail box is full' #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver The thought of disrupting 500 people's work so you can do something doesn't phase you #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver You can't sleep at night and you ponder the logisitcs of collecting every copy of Access for the world's biggest bonfire #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver Your home computer is backed up in 3 different places #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver Your wardrobe for work includes pajamas #youmightbeaDBA  CharlesGarver Someone tells you to look in the INDEX and you look puzzled before finally going to the back of the book. #youmightbeaDBA  chuckboycejr If you have ever set up a SQLAgent job to email your mobile phone to serve as an alarm clock #youmightbeaDBA  chuckboycejr If you'd rather meet Itzik than Jay Z #youmightbeaDBA  chuckboycejr If you'd rather meet Itzik than Jay Z #youmightbeaDBA  chuckboycejr If you'd wrestle a SysAdmin to the ground to implement #DPA best practices as per @aspiringgeek #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy I need to be up in 7 hours, so I'm off to bed! I'll have to read the rest of @buckwoody's #youmightbeaDBA posts in the AM. (g'night Buck!)  databaseguy When people ask you about your house, the first thing you describe is the network. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy The last thing you say at the office each day is, "is anybody else here? I'm shutting off the lights!" #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy Your blood pressure rises when you read application specs drafted by marketing. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy A good day at work is one when nobody pays you no mind. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You care about latches and wait states. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You have worked over 200 hours on a performance tuning project that required no application changes at all. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy The late-night security guard knows the names of your spouse and kids. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You have had vigorous debates about whether it should be pronounced "sequel" or "ess-queue-ell". #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You have VPN and RDP software installed on your phone ... just in case. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You have edited a data file by hand, just to see what would happen. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You decorate your office walls with database catalog posters. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You've built programs that access data just to keep other developers from asking you to run queries all the time. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy When you watch movies like The Matrix, you find yourself calculating the fasibility of storing all that data. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You have tried to convince someone to spend money on an SSD storage array. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy When CPU is spiked on a server, you want to gather forensic evidence. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You have to remind developers not to push code to production without checking if the database is ready. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy Nobody cares what you wear to work, as long as the thing keeps running. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy Telepathy is a job requirement when working with app dev teams. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You read database statistics for the educational value. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy And your boss freely admits this to anyone within earshot. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy Your boss cannot explain or understand what you do. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You envision ERDs when you see a GUI. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You say things like "applications come and go, but data lasts forever." #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You have memorized the names of several of the AdventureWorks employees. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You know what MAXDOP setting you can get away with for a big query based on current server load. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy And you immediately recognize the recursion in my last tweet. #youmightbeaDBA  databaseguy You find 50 simultaneous tweets from @buckwoody about #youmightbeaDBA :O)  DBAishness You have "funny stories" about the times your developers accidentally deleted the T-log in their test environment. #youmightbeaDBA  DBAishness Planning to slice and dice your MDW data with PowerPivot makes you giggle like a schoolgirl. #youmightbeaDBA  donalddotfarmer You think @buckwoody lives in the "real world." #youmightbeaDBA  jamach09 @buckwoody #youmightbeaDBA Why go outside when you can sit in the nice cool server room?  jamach09 If you refer to procreation as "Replication", #youmightbeaDBA.  jamach09 If you think ORM is a four-letter word, #youmightbeaDBA  JamesMarsh If you have ever preached the value of Source Code Control, #YouMightBeADBA  jethrocarr @venzann You store your shopping list in a ACID compliant DB #youmightbeaDBA  joe_positive @buckwoody thought it stood for "Don't Bother Asking" #youmightbeaDBA  joe_positive when you check your IT Events Calendar before making weekend plans #youmightbeaDBA  LadyRuna You cringe whenever someone calls Excel a database #youmightbeaDBA  LadyRuna When the waiter says he'll be your server today, you ask how many terabytes he is #youmightbeaDBA  LadyRuna you always call the asterisk a "Star" #youmightbeaDBA  LadyRuna You walk into a server room, say "Nice RACK!" and everyone there knows you're talking about server rack... #youmightbeaDBA  LadyRuna You receive more messages from servers than from friends #youmightbeaDBA  LadyRuna hmmm... #youmightbeaDBA if your recipe for gumbo is "SELECT * FROM Refrigerator"  markjholmes @SQLSoldier Heh. #youmightbeaDBA if you correct other DBAs' spelling of @PaulRandal  markjholmes #youmightbeaDBA if you actually test RAID5 vs RAID10 on your SAN because when it comes to configuration, "it depends."  markjholmes #youmightbeaDBA if you have at least 3 definitions of the word "cluster"  MarlonRibunal 3 Words: @BrentO, snicker, & Access #youmightbeaDBA  MarlonRibunal @onpnt @mikeSQL my appeal was a couple of mins late. Enjoying #youmightbeaDBA  MarlonRibunal @mikeSQL @onpnt pls, don't mention bacon #youmightbeaDBA  merv @buckwoody You HATE 3-way joins #youmightbeaDBA  MidnightDBA If you're up at midnight Tweeting about SQL #youmightbeaDBA  MidnightDBA @buckwoody I'd noticed that. :) #youmightbeaDBA  mikeSQL when people talk about "their type" you're thinking varchar, bigint, binary, etc #youmightbeadba  mikeSQL people ask you to go to lunch , but you can't go because you're attending #SQLlunch #youmightbeadba  mikeSQL you laugh for hours at all of the #sqlmoviequotes ....things in which a normal individual would scratch their head at. #youmightbeadba  mikeSQL you laugh for hours at all of the #sqlmoviequotes ....things in which a normal individual would scratch their head at. #youmightbeadba  mrdenny If you think that @buckwoody's demo using PowerPivot to analyze index usage data from DMVs is awesome then #youmightbeaDBA  mrdenny You wish @PaulRandal still worked at Microsoft so that they would make a bobble head of him #youmightbeadba  mrdenny When it's 11pm on a holiday weekend, and your posting stupid jokes on Twitter then #youmightbeadba  mrdenny If you go out with friends and wonder why no one's wearing a kilt then #YouMightBeADBA  mrdenny You can't do basic math, but you know off the top of your head how many CALs $14,412 can buy you. #YoumightbeaDBA  mrdenny If you've ever setup a SQL Job to email you to get you out of a regularly scheduled meeting #YouMightBeADBA.  mrdenny You throw up in your mouth a little when ever you here the word "Access". Even if it doesn't relate to a MS product. #YouMightBeADBA  msdtjones You spend more time listening to @buckwoody than your wife #youmightbeaDBA  NFDotCom You perform "hail deltas" on a regular basis. #YouMightBeADBA  NoelMcKinney If you tell your wife you want to go to Columbus Ohio for your wedding anniversary so you can attend #sqlsat42 then #youmightbeaDBA  NoelMcKinney You read a union is on strike and wonder if it's a UNION ALL #youmightbeaDBA  NoelMcKinney You read a union is on strike and wonder if it's a UNION ALL #youmightbeaDBA  NoelMcKinney Someone asks you to throw another log on the fire and you tell them not to worry about it because Autogrowth is turned on #youmightbeaDBA  Nuurdygirl Even if you have a girlfriend...its possible #youmightbeadba. Yeah-i said its possible!  Nuurdygirl When your girlfriend has to lean around the laptop to kiss you goodnight #youmightbeadba  Old_Man_Fish If you worry about how big your package is and how long it takes to finish #youmightbeaDBA  Old_Man_Fish If you no longer wonder if someone is in trouble or died if you are getting calls at 2AM #youmightbeaDBA  Old_Man_Fish If, when you hear the word ACCESS with no connotation you blood pressure jumps 50 points, #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt When you hear the word inject you immediately get concerned if your databases are OK #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt Your servers haven't been rebooted in a year #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You know why it's funny when @PaulRandal has the word, "Sheep" in a tweet #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You have read BOL without actually having a problem to figure out #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You can type "SELECT columns FROM tables" without typos but tipen ni Banglish ares a messis #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt DR strategies doesn't include the word, RAID in them #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt you can move a SQL Server instance to a new server without the users ever knowing #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You have made an SSIS package that is more than one step #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You have the balls to say no to your boss when they ask for the sa password #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt you google to trouble shoot a problem and end up at your own blog (and it fixes it) #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You talk your wife into moving the family vacation a week earlier so you can attend the areas local SSUG meeting #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt you can explain to a nontechnical person what a deadlock is #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You hope a girl asks you what your collation is #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt you make jokes that include the words shrink, truncate and 1205. And you are the only one that laughs at them #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You rate your ability to stay awake to work longer on blogs, twitter, forums and your day to day job with the 5 9's goal #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt you have major surgery and beg the doctor to release you back to work 5 days later because you miss your servers #youmightbeaDBA #TrueStory  onpnt You do have backups and you know how to use them #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt It's the network #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt When the developers get to work your mood changes rapidly #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt When someone says, "PASS", you first think of karaoke #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt Recruiters try to get you to call them *just* because they think you'll give them @BrentO contact info #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You chuckle every time you go to grab the "CLR" Calcium, Lime and Rust Remover to clean something #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt @MarlonRibunal @mikeSQL Sorry man, it was already in motion ;-) #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt When you have an "I love bacon" sticker on your laptop. #youmightbeaDBA http://twitpic.com/1ry671  onpnt You sing SELECT statements in the shower #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt When you see a chicken it doesn't remind you of food. It reminds you of a guy named Jorge #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt At time, SQL is your mistress #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt Your wife wonders if SQL is the code name of your mistress at times #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt it's Friday and you are on twitter thinking really hard about what would be funny for hash tag #youmightbeaDBA  onpnt You organize your wife's "decorative"pillows on the bed in a B-Tree structure #youmightbeaDBA  PaulWhiteNZ If you: SELECT TOP (1) milk FROM fridge WHERE use_by_date >= GET_DATE() ORDER BY use_by_date ASC #YouMightBeaDBA  RonDBA #youmightbeaDBA if you read @buckwoody's and @BrentO's blogs.  ryaneastabrook @buckwoody omg, you have to stand up a website with these on them, they are awesome #youmightbeaDBA  soulvy @StrateSQL @LadyRuna Or a "Splat" #youmightbeaDBA  speedracer You can still fall asleep after three cups of coffee #youmightbeaDBA  speedracer You retweet @buckwoody on a Friday night #youmightbeaDBA  speedracer You can still fall asleep after three cups of coffee #youmightbeaDBA  speedracer Developers make you twitch #youmightbeaDBA  sqlagentman You know what X/1024*8 is. #YouMightBeADBA  SqlAsylum Your still in the office at 5:00 on memorial day weekend. #youmightbeadba :)  SQLBob Whenever someone you know gets pregnant you bring up INNER JOINs or SQL Injection attacks... #youmightbeaDBA  SQLChicken You know one or more SQL folks in the community with an animal in their username #youmightbeaDBA  SQLChicken You've used one or more car analogies to explain how a database works #youmightbeaDBA  SQLChicken “@sqljoe: #youmightbeaDBA if you applied to attend #sqlu and requested @SQLChicken to pull strings for you” lmao nice!  SQLChicken When talking about SSIS your discussions break down into various jokes about packages #youmightbeaDBA  SQLChicken Just SEEING the code for cursors makes you break out in hives #youmightbeaDBA  SQLChicken Just SEEING the code for cursors makes you break out in hives #youmightbeaDBA  SQLCraftsman You coined the phrase "Magic SAN Dust" because calling a vendor's marketing claims BS is not acceptable in a meeting. #YouMightBeADBA  SQLCraftsman If you hear about a new feature with the acronym "DAC" and wonder what disaster of a feature it is attached to this time. #YouMightBeADBA  SQLCraftsman You really own a "Stick of Much Developer Whacking" #YouMightBeADBA  SQLCraftsman You coined the phrase "Magic SAN Dust" because calling a vendor's marketing claims BS is not acceptable in a meeting. #YouMightBeADBA  SQLCraftsman Default Blame Acceptor #YouMightBeADBA  SQLCraftsman If you hear about a new feature with the acronym "DAC" and wonder what disaster of a feature it is attached to this time. #YouMightBeADBA  SQLCraftsman Default Blame Acceptor #YouMightBeADBA  SQLCraftsman If you hear about a new feature with the acronym "DAC" and wonder what disaster of a feature it is attached to this time. #YouMightBeADBA  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you wished your wife knew T-sql. USE ShoppingList SELECT NecessaryItems from Supermarket WHERE Category<> ("junk food")  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if the first thing you kiss when you wake up is your mobile for not waking you up in the middle of the night  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if your wife has a "Do Not Fly" family vacation list of her own including your laptop and mobile  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you have researched for DBA Anonymous groups and attended a #SSUG willing to drop your database (vice)  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if your only maintenance windows are staff meetings  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you think of yourself as "The One" in The Matrix "balancing the equation" from The Architect's (developers) poor coding  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you think @PaulRandal should have played the Oracle in The Matrix  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if home CD & Movie collection is stored in secured containers,in logical order & naming convention,and with a backup copy  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you applied to attend #sqlu and requested @SQLChicken to pull strings for you  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you have tried to TiVo @MidnightDBA broadcasts  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if your #sql user group feels like #AA meetings  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you thought of bringing your #sql books to #sqlsaturday and #sqlpass for autographs  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if #sqlpass feels like the #oscars  sqljoe #youmightbeaDBA if you are proud of your small package  SQLLawman #youmightbeaDBA when you hear MDX and Acura is not first thought that comes to mind.  sqlrunner If your wife double checks that there isn't a SQLSat within 200 miles of your vacation destination #youmightbeaDBA  sqlrunner When you're on a conference call and your wife thinks your speaking in a foreign language #youmightbeaDBA  sqlrunner When you're on a conference call and your wife thinks your speaking in a foreign language #youmightbeaDBA  sqlrunner You treat the word 'access' as a verb, not a noun #youmightbeaDBA  sqlrunner If you are happy with sub-second performance #youmightbeaDBA  sqlrunner When you know the names of the NOC people AND their families #youmightbeadba  sqlrunner When you know the names of the NOC people AND their families #youmightbeadba  sqlrunner Your company set's up international phone coverage for your cruise #youmightbeaDBA  sqlsamson @buckwoody if your manager asks you for data and you respond with "there's a script for that" #youmightbeadba  sqlsamson @buckwoody If you receive more messages from your server then your spouse #youmightbeadba  SQLSoldier You've spent all night Valentines Day upgrading the SQL Servers and forgot to tell your wife you'd be working late. #youmightbeadba  SQLSoldier You're flattered when someone calls you a geek. #youmightbeadba  SQLSoldier @llangit @mrdenny it's 11pm on a holiday weekend, & your reading stupid jokes on Twitter then #youmightbeadba  SQLSoldier Your manager borrows lunch money from you because your salary is 30% higher than his. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You think "intellisense" is a double negative because it's not intelligent nor makes sense. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier 75% of the emails you receive at home have the phrase "now following you on Twitter!" in the subject line. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You petition Ken Burns to remake Office Space because it should have been 18 hours long. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You select a candidate for a Jr DBA position because his resume said he's willing to get your coffee. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Somebody misquotes @PaulRandall and you call him on your cell to verify. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You wish the elevator in your building was slower because it's the last time you'll be left alone all day. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier The developers sacrifice small animals before giving you their code for review. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Developers bring you coffee and a BLT when you review their code. #youmightbeaDBA #IWish  SQLSoldier You can get out of any family get-together by saying you have to work and nobody questions it. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You've requested a HP Superdome for you "test" box. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your leave work early because your internet connection to the data center is better at home #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier The new CEO asks you to justify your salary, so you go on vacation for 2 weeks. And he never questions you again. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You cheer when Milton burns down the company in Office Space #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier A dev. asks if you've heard about some great new feature in SQL and you show the 16 blog posts you wrote on it ... last year #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your dev team is still testing SQL 2008 and you're already planning for SQL 11. #youmightbeaDBA #TrueStory  SQLSoldier The new CEO asks you to justify your salary, so you go on vacation for 2 weeks. And he never questions you again. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your dev team is still testing SQL 2008 and you're already planning for SQL 11. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You use a cell phone service coverage map to plan your next vacation. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You come in to work at 7 AM because it gives you at least 3 hours without any developers around. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You figure out a way to make take your wife on a cruise and deduct it as a business expense. #youmightbeaDBA #sqlcruise  SQLSoldier You name your cat SQLDog because the name @SQLCat was already taken. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You rate your blog posts based on the number of retweets you get. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You disable random logins just to mess with people. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You fall for the pickup line, "Hey baby, what's your collation?" #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You can blame an outage on anyone in the company because you're the only one that knows how to find out what really happened #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You can blame an outage on anyone in the company because you're the only one that knows how to find out what really happened #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You cheer when Milton burns down the company in Office Space #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your leave work early because your internet connection to the data center is better at home #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You cheer when Milton burns down the company in Office Space #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your think the 4 food groups are coffee, bacon, fast food, and Mountain Dew. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You tell someone your job title and they ask "What?" You describe it and they ask "What?". So you say "computer geek". #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier The #1 referrer to your blog is Twitter.com. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your idea of a good time on a Saturday involves free training. #youmightbeaDBA #sqlsat43  SQLSoldier You write a book that all of your co-workers have and none have read it. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You write a book that sells a couple thousand copies and is heralded a best seller. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier No matter how sick you are, you go to work if it's time to pass the pager on to the next guy. #youmightbeaDBA #TrueStory  SQLSoldier You go out on the town, and strangers walk up to you and say, "Hey you're that SQL guy" #youmightbeaDBA #TrueStory  SQLSoldier Your wife asks you to fix something, and you request a downtime window. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your wife asks when you'll be home, and you tell her that you wish you knew. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your best pickup line, "Hey baby, what's your collation?" #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your wife asks when you'll be home, and you tell her that you wish you knew. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You know that @BuckWoody is not someone's porno name. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You list TSQL as your native language on the 2010 census. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Starbucks' stock price drops every time you go on vacation. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You're happy when the web master says that the website is down. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You know that @BuckWoody is not someone's porno name. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You get mad when someone calls your car a "heap" because you've always considered it to be a "clustered index". #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier Your blog has more hits than your company's website. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You systematically remove the asterisk key from all keyboards in the company except yours. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier When asked if you recycle, you reply that you run sp_cycle_errorlog every night at midnight #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You wouldn't allow someone named @AdamMachanic to work on your car. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You switch offices every 3 days to avoid developers #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier PSS has your number on speed dial. #youmightbeaDBA  SQLSoldier You frown when you they tell Neo that he's going to the Oracle #youmightbeaDBA  swhaley you regretted saying "This shouldn't effect production" #youmightbeaDBA  swhaley you regretted saying "This shouldn't effect production" #youmightbeaDBA  Tarwn A pleasurable saturday means spending the day learning more about what you already do the rest of the week #youmightbeaDBA ...oh, wait...  thelostforum For great justice; all our base are belong to YOU !! #youmightbeadba  thelostforum @SQLSoldier: You need a witness to use a mirror #youmightbeaDBA ;)  TimCost you capitalize key words. always. everywhere. you can't help it, usually don't even notice. #youmightbeaDBA  Toshana Your the only one in your company not impressed with the developers new application. #youmightbeaDBA  venzann Coming soon from a (respected) book publisher - @buckwoody's #youmightbeaDBA  venzann He's on a role tonight. @buckwoody is summing up my life with his #youmightbeaDBA tweets...  venzann I love the #youmightbeaDBA tag. Found at least 6 new DBAs to follow..  venzann He's on a role tonight. @buckwoody is summing up my life with his #youmightbeaDBA tweets...  venzann You use #sqlhelp as a primary resource during troubleshooting #youmightbeaDBA  venzann You insist on stricter password security for your sql servers than you implement on your own laptop #youmightbeaDBA  WesBrownSQL @buckwoody you are up so late the only tweets you see are from @buckwoody #youmightbeaDBA  WesBrownSQL @SQLSoldier you are upgrading all your 2005 prod servers to 2008 R2 on a three day weekend... #youmightbeaDBA  zippy1981 #youmightbeaDBA if everytime you do something with #mongodb you think of the Vulcan proverb "only Nixon could go to China."  Share this post: email it! | bookmark it! | digg it! | reddit! | kick it! | live it!

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  • SQL SERVER – A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words – A Collection of Inspiring and Funny Posts by Vinod Kumar

    - by pinaldave
    One of the most popular quotes is: A picture is worth a thousand words. Working on this concept I started a series over my blog called the “Picture Post”. Rather than rambling over tons of material over text, we are trying to give you a capsule mode of the blog in a quick glance. Some of the picture posts already available over my blog are: Correlation of Ego and Work: Ego and Pride most of the times become a hindrance when we work inside a team. Take this cue, the first ever Picture post was published. Simple and easy to understand concept. Would want to say, Ego is the biggest enemy to humans. Read Original Post. Success (Perception Vs Reality): Personally, have always thought success is not something the talented achieve with the opportunity presented to them, but success is developed using the opportunity in hand now. In this fast paced world where success is pre-defined and convoluted by metrics it is hard to understand how complex it can sometimes be. So I took a stab at this concept in a simple way. Read Original Post. Doing Vs Saying: As Einstein would describe, Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Given the amount of information we get, it is difficult to keep track, learn and implement the same. If you were ever reminded of your college days, there will always be 5-6 people doing different things and we naturally try to emulate what they are doing. This could be from competitive exams GMAT, GRE, CAT, Higher-Ed, B-School hunting etc. Rather than saying you are going to do, it is best to do and then say!!! Read Original Picture Post. Your View Vs Management View: Being in the corporate world can be really demanding and we keep asking this question – “Why me?” when the performance appraisal process ends. In this post I just want to ask you one frank opinion – “Are you really self-critical in your assessments?”. If that is the case there shouldn’t be any heartburns or surprises. If you had just one thing to take back, well forget what others are getting but invest time in making yourself better because that is going to take you longer and further in your career. Read Picture Post. Blogging lifecycle for majority: I am happy and fortunate to be in this blog post because this picture post surely doesn’t apply to SQLAuthority where consistency and persistence have been the hallmark of the blog. For the majority others, who have a tendency to start a blog, get into slumber for a while and write saying they want to get back to blogging, the picture post was specifically done for them. Paradox of being someone else: It is always a dream that we want to become somebody and in this process of doing so, we become nobody. In this constant tussle of lost identity we forget to enjoy the moment that is in front of us. I just depicted this using a simple analogy of our constant struggle to get to the other side, just to realize we missed the wonderful moments. Grass is not greener on the other side, but grass is greener where we water the surface. Read Picture Post. And on the lighter side… Reference: Pinal Dave (http://blog.SQLAuthority.com) Filed under: About Me, PostADay, SQL, SQL Authority, SQL Query, SQL Server, SQL Tips and Tricks, T SQL, Technology

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  • SQL SERVER – What is SSRS and Why SSRS is asked for in many Job Opening?

    - by Pinal Dave
    This example is from the Beginning SSRS by Kathi Kellenberger. Supporting files are available with a free download from the www.Joes2Pros.com web site. This will be a 5 day blog post in getting started with SSRS. Today will show the importance of SSRS in the business. Why is SSRS asked for in so many job openings? If you talk to an SSRS expert it’s very clear to them exactly why companies really need this invention and how it saves time and adds business value. You don’t have to be an SSRS expert to know its value or to start using it. For example you don’t have to be an airline pilot to know the usefulness of modern transportation. Even the people who don’t know how to run SSRS but need the reports can tell you why that is needed. This blog post will go into why SSRS is an important invention by showing how it improves the usage of information in your company. Before SSRS there has always been a need for a company to benefit from the use of its own information. Excel spreadsheets have been a popular way to do this for a long time. With SSRS you can still use this solution and gain many other options too. A friend of mine told me a story about doing database work in the 90s for a major company and how he wished SSRS was available back then. The Vice President of the marketing channel would often come to him just before an important meeting with the board of directors. He often needed to show how certain product sales were performing over time. All this information was in the database so it was my friend’s job to get the information out and organized into a medium the VP could use. This medium was usually Excel. The VP often had meetings all over the world where he showcased this Excel report. The solution to get the VP to him anywhere he was in the world was an Excel file attached to an e-mail. This worked pretty well but with some drawbacks. One time my friend sent the wrong file in the e-mail. A few minutes later my friend realized his mistake and sent another frantic e-mail to VP. This one was saying to ignore the last e-mail and use this newer one. Would the VP see the correct e-mail in time? If SSRS had been available, my friend could have created a solution that let the VP run the report any time he wished. The report could have been published to the company intranet where the VP could run it from any of the offices he happened to be traveling to that month. There is a fair amount of work up front to develop and publish the report, but once that work is completed, the report can be reused as many times as needed. My friend could even be on vacation for the first day of the monthly and the VP can get his real-time report. Not only could the report show the most recent data, the VP could choose to view reports of previous months with just a few clicks. The deployed SSRS is user friendly, and can also be configured to protect reports from being run by the wrong people. Tomorrow’s Post Tomorrow’s blog post will show how to know if you already have SSRS installed. If you want to learn SSRS in easy to simple words – I strongly recommend you to get Beginning SSRS book from Joes 2 Pros. Reference: Pinal Dave (http://blog.sqlauthority.com) Filed under: PostADay, SQL, SQL Authority, SQL Query, SQL Server, SQL Tips and Tricks, T SQL Tagged: Reporting Services, SSRS

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  • SQL SERVER – Weekend Project – Experimenting with ACID Transactions, SQL Compliant, Elastically Scalable Database

    - by pinaldave
    Database technology is huge and big world. I like to explore always beyond what I know and share the learning. Weekend is the best time when I sit around download random software on my machine which I like to call as a lab machine (it is a pretty old laptop, hardly a quality as lab machine) and experiment it. There are so many free betas available for download that it’s hard to keep track and even harder to find the time to play with very many of them.  This blog is about one you shouldn’t miss if you are interested in the learning various relational databases. NuoDB just released their Beta 7.  I had already downloaded their Beta 6 and yesterday did the same for 7.   My impression is that they are onto something very very interesting.  In fact, it might be something really promising in terms of database elasticity, scale and operational cost reduction. The folks at NuoDB say they are working on the world’s first “emergent” database which they tout as a brand new transitional database that is intended to dramatically change what’s possible with OLTP.  It is SQL compliant, guarantees ACID transactions, yet scales elastically on heterogeneous and decentralized cloud-based resources. Interesting note for sure, making me explore more. Based on what I’ve seen so far, they are solving the architectural challenge that exists between elastic, cloud-based compute infrastructures designed to scale out in response to workload requirements versus the traditional relational database management system’s architecture of central control. Here’s my experience with the NuoDB Beta 6 so far: First they pretty much threw away all the features you’d associate with existing RDBMS architectures except the SQL and ACID transactions which they were smart to keep.  It looks like they have incorporated a number of the big ideas from various algorithms, systems and techniques to achieve maximum DB scalability. From a user’s perspective, the NuoDB Beta software behaves like any other traditional SQL database and seems to offer all the benefits users have come to expect from standards-based SQL solutions. One of the interesting feature is that one can run a transactional node and a storage node on my Windows laptop as well on other platforms – indeed interesting for sure. It’s quite amazing to see a database elastically scale across machine boundaries. So, one of the basic NuoDB concepts is that as you need to scale out, you can easily use more inexpensive hardware when/where you need it.  This is unlike what we have traditionally done to scale a database for an application – we replace the hardware with something more powerful (faster CPU and Disks). This is where I started to feel like NuoDB is on to something that has the potential to elastically scale on commodity hardware while reducing operational expense for a big OLTP database to a degree we’ve never seen before. NuoDB is able to fully leverage the cloud in an asynchronous and highly decentralized manner – while providing both SQL compliance and ACID transactions. Basically what NuoDB is doing is so new that it is all hard to believe until you’ve experienced it in action.  I will keep you up to date as I test the NuoDB Beta 7 but if you are developing a web-scale application or have an on-premise app you are thinking of moving to the cloud, testing this beta is worth your time. If you do try it, let me know what you think.  Before I say anything more, I am going to do more experiments and more test on this product and compare it with other existing similar products. For me it was a weekend worth spent on learning something new. I encourage you to download Beta 7 version and share your opinions here. Reference: Pinal Dave (http://blog.sqlauthority.com) Filed under: PostADay, SQL, SQL Authority, SQL Documentation, SQL Download, SQL Query, SQL Server, SQL Tips and Tricks, T SQL, Technology

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  • C# 4.0: COM Interop Improvements

    - by Paulo Morgado
    Dynamic resolution as well as named and optional arguments greatly improve the experience of interoperating with COM APIs such as Office Automation Primary Interop Assemblies (PIAs). But, in order to alleviate even more COM Interop development, a few COM-specific features were also added to C# 4.0. Ommiting ref Because of a different programming model, many COM APIs contain a lot of reference parameters. These parameters are typically not meant to mutate a passed-in argument, but are simply another way of passing value parameters. Specifically for COM methods, the compiler allows to declare the method call passing the arguments by value and will automatically generate the necessary temporary variables to hold the values in order to pass them by reference and will discard their values after the call returns. From the point of view of the programmer, the arguments are being passed by value. This method call: object fileName = "Test.docx"; object missing = Missing.Value; document.SaveAs(ref fileName, ref missing, ref missing, ref missing, ref missing, ref missing, ref missing, ref missing, ref missing, ref missing, ref missing, ref missing, ref missing, ref missing, ref missing, ref missing); can now be written like this: document.SaveAs("Test.docx", Missing.Value, Missing.Value, Missing.Value, Missing.Value, Missing.Value, Missing.Value, Missing.Value, Missing.Value, Missing.Value, Missing.Value, Missing.Value, Missing.Value, Missing.Value, Missing.Value, Missing.Value); And because all parameters that are receiving the Missing.Value value have that value as its default value, the declaration of the method call can even be reduced to this: document.SaveAs("Test.docx"); Dynamic Import Many COM methods accept and return variant types, which are represented in the PIAs as object. In the vast majority of cases, a programmer calling these methods already knows the static type of a returned object form the context of the call, but has to explicitly perform a cast on the returned values to make use of that knowledge. These casts are so common that they constitute a major nuisance. To make the developer’s life easier, it is now possible to import the COM APIs in such a way that variants are instead represented using the type dynamic which means that COM signatures have now occurrences of dynamic instead of object. This means that members of a returned object can now be easily accessed or assigned into a strongly typed variable without having to cast. Instead of this code: ((Excel.Range)(excel.Cells[1, 1])).Value2 = "Hello World!"; this code can now be used: excel.Cells[1, 1] = "Hello World!"; And instead of this: Excel.Range range = (Excel.Range)(excel.Cells[1, 1]); this can be used: Excel.Range range = excel.Cells[1, 1]; Indexed And Default Properties A few COM interface features are still not available in C#. On the top of the list are indexed properties and default properties. As mentioned above, these will be possible if the COM interface is accessed dynamically, but will not be recognized by statically typed C# code. No PIAs – Type Equivalence And Type Embedding For assemblies indentified with PrimaryInteropAssemblyAttribute, the compiler will create equivalent types (interfaces, structs, enumerations and delegates) and embed them in the generated assembly. To reduce the final size of the generated assembly, only the used types and their used members will be generated and embedded. Although this makes development and deployment of applications using the COM components easier because there’s no need to deploy the PIAs, COM component developers are still required to build the PIAs.

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  • Know Your Audience, And/Or Your Customer

    - by steve.diamond
    Yesterday I gave an internal presentation to about 20 Oracle employees on "messaging," not messaging technology, but embarking on the process of building messages. One of the elements I covered was the importance of really knowing and understanding your audience. As a humorous reference I included two side-by-side photos of Oakland A's fans and Oakland Raiders fans. The Oakland A's fans looked like happy-go-lucky drunk types. The Oakland Raiders fans looked like angry extras from a low budget horror flick. I then asked my presentation attendees what these two groups had in common. Here's what I heard. --They're human (at least I THINK they're human). --They're from Oakland. --They're sports fans. After that, it was anyone's guess. A few days earlier we were putting the finishing touches on a sales presentation for one of our product lines. We had included an upfront "lead in" addressing how the economy is improving, yet that doesn't mean sales executives will have any more resources to add to their teams, invest in technology, etc. This "lead in" included miscellaneous news article headlines and statistics validating the slowly improving economy. When we subjected this presentation to internal review two days ago, this upfront section in particular was scrutinized. "Is the economy really getting better? I (exclamation point) don't think it's really getting better. Haven't you seen the headlines coming out of Greece and Europe?" Then the question TO ME became, "Who will actually be in the audience that sees and hears this presentation? Will s/he be someone like me? Or will s/he be someone like the critic who didn't like our lead-in?" We took the safe route and removed that lead in. After all, why start a "pitch" with a component that is arguably subjective? What if many of our audience members are individuals at organizations still facing a strong headwind? For reasons I won't go into here, it was the right decision to make. The moral of the story: Make sure you really know your audience. Harness the wisdom of the information your organization's CRM systems collect to get that fully informed "customer view." Conduct formal research. Conduct INFORMAL research. Ask lots of questions. Study industries and scenarios that have nothing to do with yours to see "how they do it." Stop strangers in coffee shops and on the street...seriously. Last week I caught up with an old friend from high school who recently retired from a 25 year career with the USMC. He said, "I can learn something from every single person I come into contact with." What a great way of approaching the world. Then, think about and write down what YOU like and dislike as a customer. But also remember that when it comes to your company's products, you are most likely NOT the customer, so don't go overboard in superimposing your own world view. Approaching the study of customers this way adds rhyme, reason and CONTEXT to lengthy blog posts like this one. Know your audience.

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  • Enable Full Screen Mode in Media Center Without Trapping the Mouse

    - by DigitalGeekery
    If you have a dual monitor setup and use Windows Media Center, you’re probably aware that when WMC is in full screen mode, it traps the mouse so you can’t work on a second monitor. Here we look at how to solve the annoyance. The Maxifier is an application that allows you to open Media Center in full screen mode without restricting the mouse. It relieves the annoyance of WMC capturing your mouse on a dual monitor setup. Note: If you don’t have two monitors attached, most of The Maxifier’s functions won’t work. Installation and Use Download, extract, and install The Maxifier. (See the download link below) The Maxifier runs minimized in the system tray and you access the options by right-clicking on the icon. If Media Center is not already open, you can choose Start Media Center to start WMC on the main start screen. Or, choose one of the other selections to open another area of Media Center. By default, Maxifier opens Media Center in full screen mode on the secondary monitor. When Media Center is open in full screen mode, you’ll notice you can now freely move your mouse around your multi-monitor setup. When Media Center is open, you’ll see five additional options. The Fit Screen options simply fits Media Center to the full screen, but still show the Windows borders. Full screen options put WMC in full screen mode.   The Maxifier Options allow you to choose from the various start up options. Selecting Watch for Media Center starting will prompt Maxifier to open WMC to the main start page in full screen mode on the secondary monitor automatically, even if you open Media Center without using The Maxifier.  (You may need to restart for this to take effect) If you have more than 2 monitors, you can define on which monitor to open Media Center, and which monitor you consider to be the main screen.   You can also define a number of Hotkeys in The Maxifier settings. First, select the Enable Hotkeys checkbox. To create a Hotkey, click in the text field and then press the keys to use as the Hotkey. To remove a Hotkey, click in the field and press the Delete key.   Conclusion The Maxifier is a simple program that enables Media Center users to take full advantage of a multi-monitor workspace. It works with both Vista and Windows 7. Version 1.4 is a stable application for Vista, and Version 1.5b is a beta application for Windows 7. Looking for more Media Center tips and tweaks? Check out some startup customizations for Windows 7 Media Center, how to automatically mount and view ISO’s in WMC, and how to add background images and themes to Windows 7 Media Center. Link Download the Maxifier Similar Articles Productive Geek Tips Startup Customizations for Media Center in Windows 7Using Netflix Watchnow in Windows Vista Media Center (Gmedia)Lock The Screen While in Full-Screen Mode in Windows Media PlayerSwitch Windows by Hovering the Mouse Over a Window in Windows 7 or VistaIntegrate Boxee with Media Center in Windows 7 TouchFreeze Alternative in AutoHotkey The Icy Undertow Desktop Windows Home Server – Backup to LAN The Clear & Clean Desktop Use This Bookmarklet to Easily Get Albums Use AutoHotkey to Assign a Hotkey to a Specific Window Latest Software Reviews Tinyhacker Random Tips HippoRemote Pro 2.2 Xobni Plus for Outlook All My Movies 5.9 CloudBerry Online Backup 1.5 for Windows Home Server Steve Jobs’ iPhone 4 Keynote Video Watch World Cup Online On These Sites Speed Up Windows With ReadyBoost Awesome World Cup Soccer Calendar Nice Websites To Watch TV Shows Online 24 Million Sites

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